New and unsure sub

purexdreamer

Kinky Newbie
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Oct 1, 2014
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hiya! im a total newbie to all this, but i am very very curious about bdsm dynamics and what it's all about. i was just wondering if anyone would like to enlighten me more about the subject like personal experiences and such. you know, things i cant learn off wikipedia. haha :p
 

SubMissChievous

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Jan 9, 2008
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Your question is very broad and general... Is there anything specifically you would want to know? BDSM is a very broad terms that covers a bunch of different things, many different dynamics, kinks, etc. all wrapped under one umbrella.

As of now all I can suggest you is to read. Read lots of non-fiction and educate yourself. Bear in mind at all times that there is no one true way of doing things and that one person's advice is always based solely on their personal experiences and opinions which may not necessarily be the right way for you. So all the information that is out there is there for you to pick what works for you and there is no absolute truth besides that.

If you don't have one already I suggest you make an account on Fetlife and join the group Novices & Newbies. The stickies in that group contain a HUGE collection of discussions on many topics that may be helpful to you. There is a list of non-fiction books that you can find that may be helpful aside from the discussions there.

Oh and one last thing... always take with a grain of salt people who will want to "teach" you, especially over messenger. Most of the time these people have ulterior motives and nothing particluarly brilliant ever comes out of it.

Which leads me to you @KdeMamOci and @ThatOneNudeGuy: This is a discussion board, guys. If you don't have anything else to contribute than "kik me" I would suggest you refrain from replying. Hitting on someone who asks a genuine question in the open forums is really tacky and spammy-ish.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
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May 19, 2013
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Which leads me to you @KdeMamOci and @ThatOneNudeGuy: This is a discussion board, guys. If you don't have anything else to contribute than "kik me" I would suggest you refrain from replying. Hitting on someone who asks a genuine question in the open forums is really tacky and spammy-ish.

I'll second that Chloe! It also reeks of desperation and desperate Doms are pretty pathetic. Is it any wonder so many new female subs are never seen again when desperadoes hit on them every time they ask a question?
 

SubMissChievous

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Is it any wonder so many new female subs are never seen again when desperadoes hit on them every time they ask a question?

Every time I see this I have this mental picture of a dog peeing on a fire hydrant to claim it as his... Bleh :rolleyes:
 

KdeMamOci

Senior Kink Talk Member
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May 18, 2015
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Every time I see this I have this mental picture of a dog peeing on a fire hydrant to claim it as his... Bleh :rolleyes:

You know, i am on this page once or twice a week, but kik have all time, so i told her, if she want to talk about somethink, that she can ask me anything on there, whats that bed on it? Lol
 

SubMissChievous

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The point is that this is a discussion board. There are plenty of space on here to advertise but this section is not. If you didn't want to contribute on here then you could have just took it to PM rather than spam.
 
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Doctor Pervert

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Perhaps we need to spell this out more clearly, discussion means here, not off somewhere else in pm's or kik. The question was posted here, answers to questions or further questions ON THIS TOPIC should also be posted in this thread.
If the poster said something like "pm or kik me to discuss" then that would change the intent.
By keeping discussion in open threads hopefully everyone can learn something about the topic, others can also see how intelligent, knowledgeable and thoughtful you are in your answers which can only help to enhance your reputation.
 

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