Underage Chatters

yvonnewilcox

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Recently I have heard of a lot of arrests because internet chatters are chatting with underage chatters. I do not think it is fair that you can get arrested for chatting with someone that is under 18. Really!!!!???? How can you tell how someone really is when you are just chatting with them online. Sure you can read their profile which said they are 21 years old and sure you get their picture in your email box that was not a picture of them.

Now the kid is dead because they offline with some crazy person and they check the computer and there it is, you IM's and emails. Now you are being investigated as a child molestor.
 

ldybgsgma99

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It is very hard to tell how old a person is online. And there are also the cops that pretend to be someone that they are not just to catch people. They are making it to where it really isn't safe to be online chatting at all. If you say one thing out of line, you are in deep. There should be a way of making sure so you don't get into trouble.
 

OreoTwist

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What happens when the chatters know full well of their age but still proceed in chatting to a child of 14? 13 even?
I know when I first came online, I was 12-13. And I told people full well of my age, but they still wanted to talk to me. Infact my age seemed to turn 'weirdo's' on. Explain that one. No one is in the right. I was wrong for chatting to people 20+ but they knew better and full well of my age. You cannot critisize a child.
I'm sure,aye, they know the difference between right and wrong. But there is no wrong in -TALKING-, and only talking. But there is an injustice in a male of 27 or 30 wanting a child to go on cam and 'strip'. or do intimiate things knowing full well of their age.
 
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yvonnewilcox

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Talking

What happens when the chatters know full well of their age but still proceed in chatting to a child of 14? 13 even?
I know when I first came online, I was 12-13. And I told people full well of my age, but they still wanted to talk to me. Infact my age seemed to turn 'weirdo's' on. Explain that one. No one is in the right. I was wrong for chatting to people 20+ but they knew better and full well of my age. You cannot critisize a child.
I'm sure,aye, they know the difference between right and wrong. But there is no wrong in -TALKING-, and only talking. But there is an injustice in a male of 27 or 30 wanting a child to go on cam and 'strip'. or do intimiate things knowing full well of their age.

Well there is nothing wrong with talking BUT there is not a lot of things a grown person can talk to a child online about without crossing the line.
 

OreoTwist

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One of my best friends is about 30+ and I started talking to him when I was 14-15. Never, not ONCE have we talked intimately. We use to engage in religious conversation, conversations about life. And indeed he would even help me. And he would never and has never asked me for anything in turn. There is plenty an adult can talk about with a child and not get intimate. That is BS. I have known my friend for four years now, and he's still my friend.
I don't understand how you can say that. It's quite ignorant.
 

yvonnewilcox

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I am glad you found one good person but

I am glad you found one person to talk to a child without crossing the line but just like we say about Michael Jackson children needs to be supervised about growns. You do not have to be rude, remember this is friendly discussions. Everyone have the right to their opinion. I still say people that relate to children as members of their peers are people with low expectations of who they are as an adult. The person you talk to must have a child like mind and the way you called me ignorant because I have an opinion doesn't say much for you either.

Please get over it. This is a discussion why bring negative words like ignorant? I would never never allow my daughter to talk to so called nice men online. I will teach her that she is a child and should enjoy her childhood by learning to converse with children on a child's level. This is why women are not virgins by the time they get 18 years old. Come on people let children develop into an adult naturally they will learn better respect for others.
 

OreoTwist

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To note, I wasn't being rude, just saying. Interruprt things how you will,it's text, but sorry if it came off as rudeness. XD. To note again, we live in the naughties, past 2000. Children grow up way too fast,indeed. Just look on a corner street, you'll find a 8-9 year old hanging with 16-17 year olds. Now that, in it's own sense -could- be considered wrong. A child could pick up on certain things, a teenager may do. Knife crime for example,drugs, ASBO's etc. Then again where a person lives can have an impact. Also how a child is braught up, or whom they hang with. Basic things can have an impact on a child to drive them too or away from the internet. Being understood and taken seriously, having their oppinions heard. Just because they are a child, doesn't mean, in any way shap or form they do not -feel.- A child will do what he/she wants, with permission or without. To -Learn.-Ok. Enough maternal instincts from me. Scary. XD Moving on.

This is why women are not virgins by the time they get 18 years old.
Are you characterising -ALL- females? I mean i'm a female,18 and a virgin. I know a few female virgins infact my age.

I am glad you found one person to talk to a child without crossing the line but just like we say about Michael Jackson children needs to be supervised about growns
A child can be taught over and over again, but it's like smoking (Bad example,maybe?) You tell a child not to do something, they will go ahead and do it. I'm sure many people at a certain age went through the 'rebellion' stage.

I will teach her that she is a child and should enjoy her childhood by learning to converse with children on a child's level./B] When is a child not a child,Miss? I agree with you about the -teaching.- But it is -how- you teach a child. It's basic education. Allow the child to know the wrongs of a certain situation, educate them in what could happen, so the knowledge is always there. I understand not all chidlren are the same, but the majority will go ahead and do certain things, or -try- certain things.

I would never never allow my daughter to talk to so called nice men online.

There is more then one way to skin a cat,Miss. No parent can watch a child 24/7. I'm sure they would like too mind. Comes back to the question, when is a child not a child?

I still say people that relate to children as members of their peers are people with low expectations of who they are as an adult.
I must beg to differ. Do we all not breath and think, bleed and feel? A child is still a person. This is one reason why a child may turn to the internet in the first place. To be talked too as an individual, not a person of lower being because of their age restriction.

The person you talk to must have a child like mind.
<----Is that a personal attack?
I was a very mature 14 year old, as were people I knew in person. If I did not tell him my age, I could of gotten away with being 17 at best, maybe 18. Judgemental I think that quote is. =(

Maybe people will not like what I have to say, but only -just- turning 18 I still have a view of a 'child' as my lovely lady put it. Maybe not a young child, but I still harbour strong feelings about certain aspects. I see things at both ends of the spectrum. Adult and child. And now I think I understand why people take up a job as 'Youth workers'.
Anyway, no offense was intended by this, just education. =)
 
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SubMissChievous

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Well there is nothing wrong with talking BUT there is not a lot of things a grown person can talk to a child online about without crossing the line.
I am 27 & have friends both offline & online with age range between 13 & about 50. I can talk about pretty much anything with a person who has something to say no matter their age. I think if a person can't find something to talk about without "crossing a line" then they really must have not much to say if you ask me. You must keep in mind that a person who is about 14 is a soon-to-be adult & very often teenagers seek advice from people who are older than them. That puts them at risk when they come across someone who has bad intentions of course but you can't just say that any grown up who will talk to a teen in a serious manner is wasting their time when they are sincere.

To take myself as an example: I'm the youngest of a family of four. When I was a kid my brothers were all teens & when I was a teen they were young adults. I was so used to be around people older than me that I never really had friends my own age. So I found some good friends in their age range instead. Some youngsters are also more comfortable with people a bit older than them due to family or surrounding circumstances like that because sometimes they are more mature than most people their own age.

yvonnewilcox said:
I would never never allow my daughter to talk to so called nice men online.

Kids don't always do only what they are allowed to, especially teenagers. Good intentions don't always protect kids from harm. Of course, kids need the presence of responsible adults but you have to keep in mind that teenagers are hungry to become autonomous & sometimes do disregard their parents advice to make their own experiences. I don't have enough fingers on both hands to count how many times I have not listened to my parents because I thought I knew better... :rolleyes:

Please, don't take the "ignorant" comment from Oreo... It was meant about what you said about adults talking to teens not towards you, I'm sure... Like she said, it's only "text"... :)

yvonnewilcox said:
The person you talk to must have a child like mind.

OreoTwist said:
<----Is that a personal attack?

No, it's only "text" I think... :)
 

AlienMindsInc

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I'd have to say I almost completely agree with Chloe.

I'd also like to say that you're doing something wrong if you are constantly censoring your child's life. You cannot protect children from everything, nor should you try. Some things need to be learned by experience, so give them the tools they need to succeed. Let them know about sex, show them the billions of pictures of syphilis, herpes, etc, and let them know the risks.

Human sexuality is a part of all humans, regardless of age, and if you stifle talk about it you'll only end up having your child go off to find out about sex on his/her own, which very well could be by having it. If you have raised your child right, then your child will know when it's appropriate for him/her to have sex. There will be a right time, and they will know.

You should encourage discussion of anything without "being mad." I'm 100% certain that your child has been to any chat room you've forbidden, and talked to much older men than you think she has. So my suggestion is to let your child be, inform her, and stop being the dictator she is going to defy out of spite. Put less emphasis on her virginity and more on her growth and development.

As to the original post, I've got a bunch of kids that message me from these fetish sites. Once I find out how old they are, I usually do not discuss intimate things, but I do answer questions. I find they are often like I was at 14, curious with nowhere to turn. I had sex by the time I was 15 mainly to see what it was like. If my parents ever said anything about sex, I don't remember it. I don't think the word has ever even popped up in the 23 years I've been alive. At least, not from their mouths.

And finally, I don't know who said it, but you do not need to think like a child to converse with them. Some of the 14 and 12 year olds that message me have some good ideas. They often think about things, and can provide insight adults can't give you. Of course, if you always think you're better than someone because of age, you'll eventually find the 8 year old MIT graduate that built a working communications satellite out of toothpicks, chewing gum, and a coconut, and learn something new. Hopefully.
 

tie_me_up_now

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There was a case a while ago of a guy who had sent pictures to a 12 year old girl of his penis and of him doing certain things.
As far as i can remember the child had gone on to the family computer and had borrowed some pictures off the internet and made herself an account saying she was 22- legal age everywhere but the guy was still prosecuted even though there was no way he could have known the true age of the person he was talking to.

I was once a slave to a guy in his 50s i think and i was underage at the time- i do not believe that he should be prosecuted because i willing followed what he was saying and knew what i was doing- therefore i am the one who is at fault if any.
 

deathstar22

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I don't understand why people freak out so much about meeting someone off the internet. You have the same probability of dieing in real life meeting someone not offline as you do online. The gun is in the eye of the beholder. Internet/in person same thing, same probablitiy, same out come.
 

Dementyia

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I have to pipe in here. My teen daughter is interested in sex. I talk freely with her about her interests so that she feels free to speak with me openly about anything, adding to her safety. Due to her being able to be open and honest with me, I feel she is much safer, and forewarned about the risks of whatever activity she may wish to partake in or talk about, and she also knows which subjects are taboo, and at what age/places/situations those topics are considered acceptable for conversation.

I have told her that when she turns 18, she is perfectly allowed to participate in any safe activity that pleases her, & she is happy and comforted by the fact that I refuse to judge her. Though she knows nothing of my personal predispositions, she enjoys the freedom to speak her mind without fear in our home. As a parent, it is my job to protect her, not only from predators, but also from the judgmental world at large, by telling her what subject to avoid in public conversation, and also what subjects to avoid altogether, until she is older, for her own safety. I will not stifle and subdue her, that's not part of my job description.

More parents should learn this, and practice open communication with their children.

Now, if some person knows her age and tries something with her, I say prosecute to the fullest, but if they have no way of knowing, there is no wrong knowingly done on their part.

If she portrays herself as older online, either when browsing the net or chatting, that's something that she would get into trouble for, not the person(s) she was trying to deceive.

At least that's my opinion.
 

Dementyia

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I agree with you there Deathstar, In fact I've personally had folks I've met online be wary of meeting me in person, mainly just because they were shy, but still it is the same thing.

There are risks we all take, and those risks are part of who we are. Even drinking clean, fresh water can kill you if you do it too much in a short period of time.

The best we can all do is take the precautions that we can, measure the risks, the proceed with life. Staying holed up in a room one's entire life is not living, though there is little risk or danger in it.

I don't understand why people freak out so much about meeting someone off the internet. You have the same probability of dieing in real life meeting someone not offline as you do online. The gun is in the eye of the beholder. Internet/in person same thing, same probablitiy, same out come.
 

Pingu

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This is a large bump but hey some debate is always good. In the UK, if you are over 18 and misled by an under age user about their age and things only remain online then ultimately you will be cleared as you can't be prosecuted under the Sexual Offences Act because you didn't know. There's obviously a lot of ambiguity over this, mainly because of the "proof" needed that she or he never mentioned their age to you in all their conversations. If you do however meet with said person and so something sexual then yes you're in some trouble.

Not sure how it is elsewhere but the ages 16/17 are very blurry in the law. Is it ok for a 24 year old to date a 17 year old? If that's ok then is it ok for a 24 year old to date a 16 year old?

It's an interesting subject really.
 

Passenger

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The person you talk to must have a child like mind

Years ago I was in a bar, there was a rock concert there and it ended at 1 or 2am. Then I met with a foreign girl and I started a conversation in english with her, about the band that had played, then about music in general, then about travelling around, things like that, a normal and interesting conversation, and in a language that wasn't our mother tongue.

Then she told me she was 16!!!! And I was so surprised I couldn't believe it, what was she doing going out, talking as an adult, plus in another language, and looking as a girl of my age at that time?!

I remember I just thought it was a pity that we weren't going to "flirt" as I was an adult, but anyway I wanted to carry on talking, and I met her again after that to go to other concerts without any intention from any of us to "cross the line" as somebody wrote here.

So I think there are underage people who can talk interestingly, and who keep sex as something to have with other underage people, as it should be always. Anyway, they can be an exception or not, I don't know.

One last thing: Einstein wrote his first essay at the age of 15, although he must have had a child like mind :p
 
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NoLimits

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Then she told me she was 16!!!! And I was so surprised I couldn't believe it, what was she doing going out, talking as an adult, plus in another language, and looking as a girl of my age at that time?!

When ever i go out to bars or clubs, with the age limits of 21 and up, i find myself looking around and seeing way too many younger people, i'm 23, and most people that i see around there are around 15-16 wich is a shame, especially the girls, they wear short skirts, short tops make up on there face like there a mona lisa painting, they all wish to look older to get older men, and places like bars and clubs, they let girls from younger ages inside there building sooner then a boy from that same young age.

girls attrackt boys, boys drink lots = more money for them.

Its sickning at times, thats why i do not go out that much anymore.

Our world if we like it or not, drives around 'sex, sexuality, attraction to the other sex' and the media and commercial buisness just makes it look worse, for instance.

A large chain of stores here in my country, (wich sell anything from shampoo to tools ) sold at one point thongs, in very small sizes, not for skinny adults, but small sizes like 4-5 year old girls sizes, ( not sure if they still sell them or not )

There are maybe a couple of thousand 'wrong and mentally unbalanced people' who do or try stuff with underaged people.

Its the rest of the world that pushes the world into a place where younger people start earlyer with sexual experiments.
 
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crassus

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As long as the line isn't crossed on the internet or in person, there is nothing wrong. It does seem unfair how underage girls will often go out of their way to entice older men. The fact of the matter, though, is guys have to be able to control themselves and make sure that whoever they fool around with is of legal age.
 

Master_Emanon

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For me personally being brought up in the BDSM lifestyle since 10 years old, I am use to having older friends, as much as 40 years older in some cases, when I was 12 one of my best friends were in his 60’s very smart intelligent Master who taught me a lot of the lifestyle, he was but one of 6 who taught me of the lifestyle from the age ten ‘til I became of age.

So when I got online as a younger kid, I did troll the BDSM Yahoo chat rooms, where I met many other people in the lifestyle who were much older then I, and I spoke with them they knowing my age, and I knowing theirs so never made any sexual advances and just talked to me, here it is 8 years later and I still keep in contact with many of them online and have met several of them who were in my area.

As long as the person who is underage doesn’t lie most people online would not talk sexually with them, but of course there are pedophiles on and offline who would know of their age group and that person would be more intrigued to speak with them even more so they should still watch it whether they are on or offline.
 

Lokelake

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Well, how young is the child?

Besides, an adult shouldn't really be saying anything sexual related if the person is under 18, that is my personal insight. Even if the person is 17. No one can persuade me to change my view/opinion on that.

If an adult says one thing to a child, but the adult didn't mean it in any bad way, and the child didn't consider it to be bad, well, if someone else thought what the adult said was bad, then he/she (the adult) can get into trouble. It is all about child safety on the internet.
 

wetemke

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Bottom line

If an underage person lies about their age and the adult thinks he/she is talking to an adult, the true adult should not be blamed. Women pretend to be men and women pretend to be men etc. Etc.
 

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