What to do when gf is not interested in submission?

fuqing

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May 29, 2014
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Help!

After accidentally reading a few dom sub related literature on http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html, I'm very interested in trying to become a master.

After suggesting this to my girl friend she just seem to shrug it off. She is not exactly opposed to this and is not exactly into this at the same time. Did anyone had this problem before?

I personally see a few options in front of me.
1. Try to convince my girl friend to become my sub. I will need some advise on how to do this.
2. Not going to do anymore
3. Forget this once and for all.

Any sincere advise is appreciated. Thank you for reading.
 
Last edited:

SirCB

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Sep 10, 2014
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Get her to try it out and see if she likes it. If she doesn't, forget it. Read literature and do it in private. I've had so many people add me on Kik saying they're married, or in a relationship. I immediately say no, then they reply with rubbish like "They'll never find out" etc. I consider that cheating. If you love her, don't do it.
 

fuqing

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Dear SirCB,

I appreciate your reply. That's what I will do. You've reaffirmed what I believe. I'm really grateful for this. I can't express how much I appreciate it.

Once again. Thank you very much.

Anyone has advise on how to convince or introduce submission to a vanilla gf?
 
Last edited:

LanaTownsend

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Your wording is questionable. If you have to convince someone to do something, then that implies it's something they don't want to do. BDSM is not something you can just "try" like you're at a buffet or something. And if she tries it out just to appease you and has a bad experience, then there's a chance of distrust and resentment. And who wants that in a relationship?
 
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shadowice0823

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While it may sound fun to you if you don't research it properly you are just going to end up hurting your gf. Why don't you start out slow and maybe do some bondage or something like tie her arms to the bed with a silk tie or a pair of soft handcuffs just to make it fun for her then you could tease her a bit and see how she responds.
 

Doctor Pervert

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Lots of good advice here, definitely "convincing her" is out, submissiveness is either there or it isn't. Perhaps as others have suggested just try a few kinky games first and see how she reacts. If she really doesn't go for it then don't push any more.
 

wetemke.2

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Dec 28, 2013
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Exciting sex life

Sex is a key point in any relationship. If you're not sexually satisfied in your relationship because you're unhappy and need that "something" you're not getting, you will never be sexually satisfied. Sexual activity is not about cumming, it's about the journey leading to that orgasm. I say if you're going to be unhappy, unsatisfied and probably "cheat", then move on and find someone compatible. You only have one life. Don't live it for others, live it for yourself.
 

tripity

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It depends what you want to do

There are two things. People who see BDSM as a lifestyle and people who see it as something for the bedroom. Both are fine, but the lifestylers scoff at the bedroom kinksters as pretentions and not hardcore, and the kinksters see the lifestylers as being a bit ott, weird and perverted.

There are generally more people who would subscribe to the bedroom kinkster catagory. More people than you would imagine will admit to being turned on by it when you get them talking about it, to varying degrees. And obviously those degrees to which they will admit an interest are just the surface of the truth.

Buy some entry level stuff. A blindfold, some handcuffs, maybe a riding crop or a small whip. The trick is to take it slowly. The first few times you do anything make it regular sex with a kinky twist. Handcuff her wrists behind her back and then just go down on her or fuck her. Then end it like normal with a cuddle or something. She needs to get comfortable with games and toys before you can progress to anything more intricate.

Garauntee she'll be interested in having cuffs on. Perhaps let her put them on you too. Oh and another golden piece of advice. When you buy cuffs, no matter how long it takes you to actually use them a little or to show them to her. Once they're out. Start leaving them about the bedroom, or just play about with them when you're watching tv or whatever. The more exposure the better. You want her to think about it as often as possible. That way she'll start debating in her own head whether she'd be interested, and she'll catch herself doing it when for one reason or another she decides she would be. Then it'll stick and she'll bring it up. And you'll be in like sin.
 

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