Today's Dominance

[Damokles]

Isn't it sad and frightening how many people take it for granted that they are the creation of mankind?
Or is it normal these days that people no longer want to get to know the other person, but are just looking for the next kick?

For me, it has always been a gift and an honor to have people at my mercy.
Of course, some people want to be treated like a "worthless piece of shit". But is that a reason to forget my manners?

Or am I just being old-fashioned and have missed the boat in terms of understanding that this is a normal thing?
Or am I too narrow-minded and this is exactly what others expect and want?

 

[SilverShadeLynx]

In todays age of technology there are new sites and apps popping up every day. I think that's a big reason why it gets easier and easier to fulfill those kicks.

So many people are flocking to these websites. And with them they bring a decent amount of people looking to just take advantage of others. Especially in these days, where sharing just a little bit too much about yourself can result in a lot of negativity.

I feel that nowadays it is very hard to find a genuine connection.

 

[Damokles]

Being real and being anonymous are not mutually exclusive, but of course they do limit each other.

Of course, our modern age has its advantages. It's just easier to connect with each other. You are no longer so alone just because you are "different.
But this ephemeral nature of our media also leads to this ephemeral nature in interpersonal aspects.
It's all so... superficial.
I feel like a lot of people forget that there is a human being on the other side, and not just an option to bridge their own boredom of being in the short term.

You just have to look hard to find the grail among all the shiny gold.

Especially in these days, where sharing just a little bit too much about yourself can result in a lot of negativity.

The big problem of the Internet, trust. But trust is a fundamental basis of BDSM.

 

[subzzzero]

I think the viewpoint I carry for how things work is that you’ll find 1-2 decent legit potential longterm matches in the kink life per every 100 or so post and ghost thirsty fakes. I’m not saying don’t shoot your shot or cast your line I’m just saying to set realistic expectations.

First the whole community online and in person is male heavy. So the female role is the hot commodity. Whether it be sub or domme. And I’d even go so far as to say sub males have even more a fight due to pay for play dommes or pay for play ladies posing as dommes. As soon as a few guys pay these ladies all see it’s possible and the thought shifts from kink to money making. Tributes of cash payments and allowances it’s all just business. If y’all would stop paying it would stop being a thing. But as we all know sex sells and so onlyfans has driven a huge hit to muddying up the kink community.

The other view is people are horny and want immediate gratification. The internet provides that. It used to be one way just watching pics or vids. Now it’s live two way cam feeds with the ability to interact as if you’re sitting in the same room when you might be on a different continent. I think those type people see it as the videos still. It’s media and entertainment to use and get off then they just ghost due to no investment. This approach can be stopped by making people invest time into you before doing the kinky things, before role playing, or before sending nudes.

Today I got a private chat here. It just said punish me. My reply was no. And I blocked and moved on. Someone will bite and go for that convo and they will just reinforce bad behavior further shortening the kink community.

The internet is good for making commons connections and discussion but I always recommend local communities when trying to find a suitable match. Munches and meets will allow that connection to form organically.

 

[Damokles]

I think the viewpoint I carry for how things work is that you’ll find 1-2 decent legit potential longterm matches in the kink life per every 100 or so post and ghost thirsty fakes. I’m not saying don’t shoot your shot or cast your line I’m just saying to set realistic expectations.

Patience, a virtue not everyone learns.

Regarding payment - as you said, it's a business and demand regulates supply.

Of course it is not my intention to tell others that their lives are wrong. If you're just looking for the next kick, you're welcome to it if you find the necessary means/person for it. Unfortunately, communication is so error-prone. Which is why it doesn't always have to be that the other person is just looking for a kick too.

Local communities tend to be too exclusive and, like the lack of women already mentioned, it is often the case that it is not so easy to get in as a man without appropriate payment. And sexual interests and payment are not compatible for me, but this is my point of view.
But maybe I was just unlucky in my search.

Especially since I've always found my long-term partners when I wasn't looking for them ^^

My intention was also less to complain about the "I'm looking for a kick" or "I can only articulate myself in one word". (ok, maybe a little ^^)
But I didn't want it to be forgotten that there are also other views and I'm glad to read that I'm not alone in this.
So thx for you contribution @SilverShadeLynx @subzzzero