A big chunk of the community is weird!

[MercyHunter]

And so you would say "Well of course, after all we are all kinky!"
And I'll say, that's not what i mean.
I've talked to quite too many creeps, uneducated on consent ppl and borderline pushy "I WILL dominate you" kinds of people! (Not here of course, but my point still stands). It pushes me to not even try to find someone who thinks like me on these topics, because my last few encounters were honestly "traumatizing" (i know, strong use of the word, but i think it fits).

I know what I'm looking for in people, but these encounters are quite exhausting. It's not like i will give up on finding others like me, i just really want to lol (and this "creep" problem is pretty big

 

[Naughty nova]

And so you would say "Well of course, after all we are all kinky!"
And I'll say, that's not what i mean.
I've talked to quite too many creeps, uneducated on consent ppl and borderline pushy "I WILL dominate you" kinds of people! (Not here of course, but my point still stands). It pushes me to not even try to find someone who thinks like me on these topics, because my last few encounters were honestly "traumatizing" (i know, strong use of the word, but i think it fits).

I know what I'm looking for in people, but these encounters are quite exhausting. It's not like i will give up on finding others like me, i just really want to lol (and this "creep" problem is pretty big

There are lots of pushy fake Doms but there really are good ones out there don't ever give up. Ignore the lazy one linner fake ones. If they can't bother to get creative in there message then they won't be creative in anything else. Don't settle because you are worth it and you have the power. Remember they can't play without your permission

 

[MercyHunter]

Don't settle because you are worth it and you have the power. Remember they can't play without your permission

Honestly, perfectly said! I just find it a bit sad that the community has to suffer from "that". It could help in the long run to have experience with people like them but they do "stain the name" of anything kink/fetish related

 

[Naughty nova]

Honestly, perfectly said! I just find it a bit sad that the community has to suffer from "that". It could help in the long run to have experience with people like them but they do "stain the name" of anything kink/fetish related

It is very sad I'm sure many give up because they get tired of weeding through the crap ones

 

[subzzzero]

This is a story that is all too common. But good on you for bringing it out. Speaking about it. Helping others see the light who might be too scared to ask or mention it. I hope it helps people. I always do the things I do hoping some sub is going to avoid falling prey to the fakes.

Speaking out as you did if done by more and more subs keeps those other douches from success and maybe changes their ways

 

[subzzzero]

I will say there is a good handful or two of people here who lead and contribute to quality convo so I look forward to seeing your contributions added in as it seems you have a similar mindset on the reality in kink. Welcome to the site!

 

[MercyHunter]

Honestly, trusting your gut is the most important thing ever. If you feel that someone is a potential danger to you, it's best to keep the "i like dangerous things" mindset, out of it.
I've noticed that a lot of submissives tend to be "people pleasers" (or at least have a history with that midnest) so i really hope that more people read about stuff like this to keep themselves safe (mentally and physically).
(There was a post about "sub frenzy" in here and i think it could be of big help to some.)

 

[MercyHunter]

it seems you have a similar mindset on the reality in kink. Welcome to the site!

Thank you! It's nice to see this side of the community and be able to take part in it. I've already notioced a few of the people so I'm looking forward to this!
( Love that you said "the reality of kink" btw)

 

[Damokles]

As nice as it may be that sexual preferences and the bdsm world are no longer seen as pathological and negative, it has also become a little too commercialized. The internet has also done a good job of normalizing things and making them more acceptable in society, but as with so many things these days, it's all about attention and a quick thrill.

And the Internet has a lot to offer.
I don't condemn those people who are just looking for the next kick or want more and more extreme things.
But I think it's a great pity that many people have forgotten that not everyone is like that.
They have no interest in thinking outside the box. And instead of understanding that not everyone is looking for the same thing, they are arrogant enough to believe that everyone has to behave the way they think is right.

The Internet is saturated with a flood of sexual input and much of it is pornography or fantasy. But there is a big difference between what excites you in your head and what your body really likes.

This makes it all the more difficult for those who don't just want to be superficially aroused. Those who feel deeper needs and are looking for someone who understands both body and mind.

And there are also those who are simply looking for someone on a communicative level. As far as our society is concerned, bdsm and kinks are not exactly the small-talk stuff you can have with random people.

Unfortunately, many people have never learned to take the time to think or put themselves in the other person's shoes in order to understand whether the other person is looking for something similar to themselves.

 

[subzzzero]

This whole angle of needing quick play and a one and done type thing has always existed in kink. In its simplest form it’s like being a top or bottom in a dungeon scene. Or seeking a casual play partner.

I think the issue is people won’t just own up to it here. Why I don’t know but it would be so much easier.

Post: I’m seeking quick play within my kinks and limits. Not seeking Longterm or ongoing.
Simple as that. Then those that want more can just pass it up and keep going.

 

[Damokles]

I think the issue is people won’t just own up to it here. Why I don’t know but it would be so much easier.

Post: I’m seeking quick play within my kinks and limits. Not seeking Longterm or ongoing.
Simple as that. Then those that want more can just pass it up and keep going.

But that's exactly what the "Online Play" section is for!?

But I agree, this would be a step and more importantly it would be, that those who just want a quick game, don't spam those who are looking for something longer term.
And the big problem of every forum - that you understand the areas and don't post your "copy and paste" lines everywhere.

 

[MercyHunter]

And the big problem of every forum - that you understand the areas and don't post your "copy and paste" lines everywhere.

It's not even a forum problem anymore, it's absolutely everywhere. Social media has tuned people into quick fix maniacs. And most of the people who act that way, do genuinely want to have a "serious relationship" at some point/ if they meet the right person.
Sadly, you can't "find the right person" without putting in the effort. And that's most of what trust is based on, efforts and your knowledge of the other person.
The internet makes it all too easy, most times "easy" isn't satisfactory (longterm).
Sure, there is some people who genuinely want to live like that and this makes them happy (more power to them), but i know for a fact that a big portion of the people who practice this, do it out of loneliness, momentary horniness or personal unresolved problems.
And i find that quite sad.

 

[Damokles]

Humans are social creatures, and while our social media has evolved and connectivity has become easier, we are less and less connected to each other.
People are often not really connected to themselves and hope that someone else can solve this problem for them. By clinging to the next best thing in the hope that it will bring salvation (even if only in the short term).
And as you have already written, this is quite sad.

 

[MercyHunter]

I'm not sure if you are too intrested in the topics of AI but it will be affecting out lives a lot more in the near future.
It will be incorporated in some dating apps (so it can make an AI you and than talk with the other AI person, to tell you if you will be a good match?), another big one is Charecter AI and the "pocket partner". Add virtual reality to the mix and at this point we have turned into a Cyberpunk world.
Companies and greedy people are profiting from others loneliness and human needs. As much as i support sex work, i feel like it has gone out of the "healthy" amount of advertising and promoting (also selling after talking to someone, just enough to get them intrested). It's exploitative, it's absolutely everywhere and we can only expect that it will be getting worse.

(As much as I'm exited for the future and technologies progress, thinking about the people on the other side makes me wish that it won't be happening like this)
It's like gambling, you won't win but they will give you enough, so that you can keep on trying.

 

[MercyHunter]

Your "precious GODDESS" can suck my dick dude. Stop spamming this shit everywhere. Time and place <3

 

[subzzzero]

I'm not sure if you are too intrested in the topics of AI but it will be affecting out lives a lot more in the near future.
It will be incorporated in some dating apps (so it can make an AI you and than talk with the other AI person, to tell you if you will be a good match?), another big one is Charecter AI and the "pocket partner". Add virtual reality to the mix and at this point we have turned into a Cyberpunk world.
Companies and greedy people are profiting from others loneliness and human needs. As much as i support sex work, i feel like it has gone out of the "healthy" amount of advertising and promoting (also selling after talking to someone, just enough to get them intrested). It's exploitative, it's absolutely everywhere and we can only expect that it will be getting worse.

(As much as I'm exited for the future and technologies progress, thinking about the people on the other side makes me wish that it won't be happening like this)
It's like gambling, you won't win but they will give you enough, so that you can keep on trying.

Im already seeing it used for writing ads and posting opening Convos. Even in a telegram kink screening room. We have people come in with all the right answers all the detail. Then when you really read it you see the truth. You also catch them when you get them talking and they don’t have time to research and copy paste from AI.

Wasn’t Ashely Madison suspected to have been using the bots with AI to boost messages to dudes to get more to pay out to see more messages.?

 

[MercyHunter]

Even in a telegram kink screening room. We have people come in with all the right answers all the detail. Then when you really read it you see the truth. You also catch them when you get them talking and they don’t have time to research and copy paste from AI.

I don't really use kik (i learned that it exists from other posts here) but its pretty similar on discord or reddit as well. Facebook as well is just filled to the brim with AI / bots. It's crazy world we live in but if you learn the signs its not too hard to figure out who is actually real.
(I've never heard of Ashley Madison, so i don't really have an opinion on the topic)

 

[subzzzero]

I don't really use kik (i learned that it exists from other posts here) but its pretty similar on discord or reddit as well. Facebook as well is just filled to the brim with AI / bots. It's crazy world we live in but if you learn the signs its not too hard to figure out who is actually real.
(I've never heard of Ashley Madison, so i don't really have an opinion on the topic)

I don’t use kik either. This was referring to telegram groups. Also for anyone who might be doing screening for things like that. I’d recommend a live vid with the person saying a unique phrase and doing an action. For example
I’d like to join (while touching nose)
Or say todays date while holding up 3 fingers. Things like that. Just pics of a person are all easily faked

 

[MercyHunter]

I can confirm! I tried to do it with an AI generated image of a woman for a Kink site (for my country) and it got apropved. It's really easy to fake things!
I never seriously used the account (tho i did see quite a lot of pedos who were trying to talk to me before even approving the account).

Best part is, that the account got banned after i called them out for being weirdos (I'm talking about 40 something year old man talking to what they see as a 18 yo.)
Absolutely terrifying! (Another reason as to why i don't use my countries sites)

 

[Randy Magnum]

Theres a continuous cycle of:

Sub trusts a 'Dom' ( well someone pretending to be a Dom), sends to much too quick gets burnt because the Dom wasn't genuine.

The Next genuine dom asks for pics or some way of verifying sub, the sub is genuine but now has trust issues so won't send pics anymore.

The genuine Dom suspects sub is fake and moves on. And two people who were genuine pass eachother by.

A lot of fake 'Doms' say they are Doms as theres no title for 'People who only want your information to expose online and ruin your life' and if there was choosing it would get them banned immediately.

Unfortunately there's no way of vetting these people and subs find out the hard way :/

People on this site are trying to get their desires forfilled in some way or another. Unfortunately peoples who's desires are to abuse their 'Dom' position to get into positions where they can blackmail their subs are also on this site.

I think every sub I've had has had a bad experience with a previous Dom and wished they couldve unsent certain content.