Exploring this side of myself online.. advice?

[Tryingtolearn]

as the title says, looking for some advice on how to explore this side of me online.

A little about me, I’d say I’m more a soft dom/daddy naturally (have done the test and posted my results).

I have explored the surface with a couple of women online (both bratty switches) and want to understand things better for me and any future subs I speak with.

I am, 35, English and have a very close minded friend circle & wife which led me here.

Yes, I’m married which I’m sure many people will frown upon me being here, however, things aren’t great at home which is pretty much how I started exploring this in the first place..

Any tips on where I can find ‘good’ information or pointers would be appreciated and would be great to chat with people who’ve been in the same kind of situation.

Being limited to primarily online (not forever I’d hope) makes it a little trickier in my mind, unless I’ve just not found the right sub perhaps?

All help will be appreciated,

D

 

[LadyGrace321]

A little about me, I’d say I’m more a soft dom/daddy naturally (have done the test and posted my results).

Those tests aren't really that accurate. Its a starting point in my opinion.
Welcome to KT.

 

[Tryingtolearn]

Those tests aren't really that accurate. Its a starting point in my opinion.
Welcome to KT.

Thank you!

I had a feeling that may be the case as they were fairly… standard? Questions

I definitely feel I lean more soft/daddy than it said!

 

[LadyGrace321]

Thank you!

I had a feeling that may be the case as they were fairly… standard? Questions

I definitely feel I lean more soft/daddy than it said!

So, what do you mean by soft? Like no pain, or you make suggestions rather than demands?

 

[Tryingtolearn]

So, what do you mean by soft? Like no pain, or you make suggestions rather than demands?

So, what do you mean by soft? Like no pain, or you make suggestions rather than demands?

Well thus far, I’ve only been able to explore online which makes demands very hard to enforce obviously..

I’m not really into pain play so haven’t explored that much and again, being primarily online restricts what ‘punishments’ can be given..

The two people I’ve explored with so far were both very bratty and more switch than sub which made it tricky at best haha

 

[LadyGrace321]

Well thus far, I’ve only been able to explore online which makes demands very hard to enforce obviously..

I’m not really into pain play so haven’t explored that much and again, being primarily online restricts what ‘punishments’ can be given..

The two people I’ve explored with so far were both very bratty and more switch than sub which made it tricky at best haha

I understand Exactly what you mean. I still struggle with that aspect as well. Im a thinker. I want to know too many details. If someone wants to be controlled, I dont just go for the sexual stuff, although that's the focal point.
If you get on a platform that allows for video and audio, it's easier. The possibilities are endless, just get creative. If you want to keep a switch in more of a sub mindset, you'll need to figure them out. If they don't communicate with you well, it's best to cut your loss and move on. It'll just frustrate you both if you try to force the issue.
🥹 I recently quit talking to my favorite person on here bc of lack of communication. He was awesome. I miss em. (Sucking it tha fuck up though) *sniff*

 

[Tryingtolearn]

I understand Exactly what you mean. I still struggle with that aspect as well. Im a thinker. I want to know too many details. If someone wants to be controlled, I dont just go for the sexual stuff, although that's the focal point.
If you get on a platform that allows for video and audio, it's easier. The possibilities are endless, just get creative. If you want to keep a switch in more of a sub mindset, you'll need to figure them out. If they don't communicate with you well, it's best to cut your loss and move on. It'll just frustrate you both if you try to force the issue.
🥹 I recently quit talking to my favorite person on here bc of lack of communication. He was awesome. I miss em. (Sucking it tha fuck up though) *sniff*

Yeah I get that too! The woman I speak to still, we speak every day for hours on the phone, voice notes, videos, video calls (when we can) but being both married makes it tricky to have enough time to really dive in..

She definitely isn’t as open as she could be with some things but lots of old traumas have made it harder I think

I’m pretty patient, not in any rush and as I’m still learning, it’s good for me to see the really bratty side haha..

Maybe I could do with finding someone who’s more specifically looking to be an online sub but I don’t know.. that’s why I’m here I guess lol!

Sucks about your recent split.. can be extremely hard on the mind, I’ve been there before and as I tend to focus a lot on the emotional elements, can tend to get deep pretty quick.. which may also not be helping matters

If you want to vent, I’m all ears though I know that can sometimes help hugely!

 

[Merlin]

Well thus far, I’ve only been able to explore online which makes demands very hard to enforce obviously..

I’m not really into pain play so haven’t explored that much and again, being primarily online restricts what ‘punishments’ can be given..

The two people I’ve explored with so far were both very bratty and more switch than sub which made it tricky at best haha

while online has its downsides i have to say there is no situation where you can "enfore" anything, all the enforcing / fighting back is either more roleplay than anything else or should be talked about more ... In the end both want the things to happen like they do or it is technically abusive in nature .

That is why i often press that bratting is a kind of play and needs to follow rules too for example. Same for online or irl

 

[Tryingtolearn]

Very fair point, and one I’ll take on board..

Replies like yours is exactly why I came here so thank you been feeling a little ‘lost’ trying to figure out as much as I can haha

 

[LadyGrace321]

Yeah I get that too! The woman I speak to still, we speak every day for hours on the phone, voice notes, videos, video calls (when we can) but being both married makes it tricky to have enough time to really dive in..

She definitely isn’t as open as she could be with some things but lots of old traumas have made it harder I think

I’m pretty patient, not in any rush and as I’m still learning, it’s good for me to see the really bratty side haha..

Maybe I could do with finding someone who’s more specifically looking to be an online sub but I don’t know.. that’s why I’m here I guess lol!

Sucks about your recent split.. can be extremely hard on the mind, I’ve been there before and as I tend to focus a lot on the emotional elements, can tend to get deep pretty quick.. which may also not be helping matters

If you want to vent, I’m all ears though I know that can sometimes help hugely!

Totally narrowing my eyes at you.
sure your from England? You seem like an American with that somewhat positive mindset.
Na, Im good. I've vented with my mentor over it. Thank you for offering though. I might talk to you if you stick around. Just to bull shit.

 

[Tryingtolearn]

Totally narrowing my eyes at you.
sure your from England? You seem like an American with that somewhat positive mindset.
Na, Im good. I've vented with my mentor over it. Thank you for offering though. I might talk to you if you stick around. Just to bull shit.

Haha absolutely! I’ll be around

And yep, definitely from England.. AKA arseland rather than assland

 

[Tryingtolearn]

Totally narrowing my eyes at you.
sure your from England? You seem like an American with that somewhat positive mindset.
Na, Im good. I've vented with my mentor over it. Thank you for offering though. I might talk to you if you stick around. Just to bull shit.

Also, thanks for replying! I already feel a little less out of place here haha