Femdomquestion about

[mikeyj1992]

Femdom question about chastity, submissing and pleasing mistress

I don't have much experience with this, other than some with a friend through text and she was as new to it as me. I had a question for the mistresses out there, but others can answer.

I got into tease and denial chatting with my friend, mainly because she enjoyed it (my first week of her controlling my orgasms, and making me edge and tell her how badly I wanted to cum gave her her first time of two orgasms back to back, I'm happy to say, as well as some of her best orgasms ever). I loved being used to please a strong girl, whatever she desired. I guess that makes me a sub, but i dont view it exactly like that, im a strong, assertive guy, i just love pleasing women no matter what she wants, amd i enjoy the idea of a strong women who gets off on the idea and power that she can have in taking advantage of my desire to please. But as I tried to research more about it, all I found was stuff about the guy being denied. What the mistress would do to him, lots of pain from sadistic women or just being denied a lot. For me its not about the guy, not about me, its about pleasing her, giving her all the orgasms she wants, all the entertainment she wants, its about her. If she wants to feel him cum in her, fine, if she wants to tease and deny him, go for it. Denial shouldn't be about making him suffer, it should be about giving her the power, and her getting off on that. Making me beg shouldn't be about hurting me, it should be about showing her how much power she has, intensifying her pleasure. Even if she wants to cause pain, spanking or anything, it shouldn't be about me, what I want, it should be about her enjoying the power, her being entertained by using that power over me, her pleasure, and her cumming a lot. Maybe she's entertained by denial, or teasing, or making me squirm, or hitting balls, or forcing me to edge myself in front of her friends, knowing I can't help but stay aroused because of how much I know she is getting off on it.

So why don't I see stories like that, why don't I see posts that reflect that, why don't I see more people talking about that? Why do I see guys asking mistresses online to make them deny themselves, that seems all about what the guy wants, where is the pleasure for the girl, the mistress in randomly telling a guy online not to cum? Isn't the power created by the connection, her knowing the guy she's denying at some personal level and enjoying that? Are there only people interested in the guy, or are there mistresses like that that just love the power a sub guy gives them and using that not to just to hurt but to be entertained, pleased and get lots of orgasms? Am I missing something here?

 

[CuriouslyInterested]

BDSM is all very personal, everyone has their own kinks and reasons for enjoying them. Likes, dislikes and limits should always be considered by everyone before starting a relationship, but I wouldn't assume you are missing anything, the dom directs the activities within the sub's limits. Some people on both sides if the equation forget this, and also that both parties are supposed to get satisfaction from the relationship.

Everyone is looking for their own ideal fantasy, and maybe all some have to go on is the stuff you've found in your research. Also, Kink Talk has no real designation for tops and bottoms, that enjoy particular kinks but not necessarily a power exchange. In a power exchange, the connection is very important for the relationship to work out. What I find most frustrating about all the ads is everyone declaring or demanding servitude from the getgo because the connection is vital. I've never had the desire to serve a stranger.

 

[mikeyj1992]

I'm not trying to question or disparage what other people enjoy, I'm just trying to understand and get some thoughts and opinion from experienced people out there.