How can i become a better submissive?

birdybee__

Kinky Newbie
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  • Female
  • Submissive
Aug 20, 2022
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if you’re new to this, then mistakes get made. If your ’master’ can’t adapt to this, then he needs to gain more experience (and maturity).
You need to learn and identify what you did and try to not do it again.
Oh...that he is...tooo mature....this is not the first time I've done this...I say I won't do it again...I decide within myself I won't do it again...and yet somehow it happens...always...and he still keeps up with me...but I don't wanna keep doing this...so any suggestions for me to not to keep repeating these things?
 

Merlin

Moderator
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Staff member
Jan 9, 2008
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Germany
Maybe start to think about why you do things you agreed to not to do?

What do you think is the outcome of agreeing and then nor following through?

Also you don't say what it is , so a bit hard to say as there is a big difference between a mistake "I tried but failed" and not doing when agreed to for example
 
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subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
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Dec 6, 2015
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So first off your vagueness makes it more difficult to give specific advice without us knowing things. Knowing what you did and what happened would help for more accurate answering.

Anyways not sure on your Exp level but based on this simple post I’m guessing you and maybe he have less experience.
1. Did you set clear expectations prior to starting this dynamic?
2. Was this mistake something that violated those agreements and expectations?
3. Did he explain to you when you messed up.? Like why and what was wrong and what could be done to rectify it.
4. The “hes angry with me and won’t talk” unless you’ve violated a hard limit and or cheated. This one here is a red flag for me. He’s no longer doing his part as a dominant. His lack of communication isn’t acceptable. It honestly sounds like the typcial “masters” online. Who take in a new person and then are manipulative with the whole punishments and radio silence in hopes of getting the sub to do things faster or that she’s not comfortable with. The other option is he’s not taking cuz he’s playing the field and as using other subs like yourself and as he gets bored he will be back.


Personal advice here.
Assess this whole situation. Is this what you want from a dynamic? And the end of each day does it make you feel good?
Is it helping with any self improvement at all on your end? Are you enjoying things? Are you ok with him acting this way all the time? If he’s doing it now he will most certainly do it again. Being a sub doenst mean being a doormat. Your likes dislikes limits and well-being are all equally important during negotiations.

At this point I’d suggest if you’ve answered all those questions and want to still continue then you need to have a long talk with him about your needs and his poor behavior as a dom. If he doesn’t reply to you either way then eventually you need to just accept hes a dick and move on. If he’s not answering you he’s saying “you’re not important enough for his time”. So give him the same treatment go find someone who will treat you right. And don’t fall for the bullshit sob story when he does finally come crawling back with excuses and manipulation.
 

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