It seems impossible to find a woman that is into these things, because it would come out as being a creep. So... How does one approach this topic? Must I wait, and play the long game? What clues must I pay attention. Of course I need to increase my woman interaction more to increase my chances, but when is it the right time to talk about these? I feel like women have it easier in terms of sexuality than men. Although, I can also understand women having it hard as well, because they are suppose to be saints. They were more against lewd stuff when they were in their teen years, while the boys were more into the idea of lewdness. At least, that's how it look like when I was in Middle School. Also, I am quite new to this place, and want to know about the Kinky Side of myself, because I don't have people to talk about these ideas or how it's properly done. Thank you in advance.
How does one find a Submissive woman?
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Use kink sites to connect with like minded people. Use kink sites to find local meets and munches. Attend said munches. Make friends. Develop play partners relationships etc if you click together
Hi there and welcome.
This is a really good question, or rather collection of questions about one of the most basic topics, getting started. There is no definitive, one size fits all answer here but I'll do my best and give you my take.
I'm going to assume you are talking about meeting a submissive and/or kinky woman in real life since online it's really just a matter of looking at their profile! In real life (or face to face since online is still real) women do not have a sexuality profile tattooed on their forehead so as you alluded to it's not immediately obvious if someone you've met is kinky or not. The least effective option is just hoping that women you meet randomly under normal circumstances will have some level of kinky interest. It's most certainly not a conversation opening topic so you could be quite a way into a relationship before being able to broach the topic, luckily there is a much better way.
Just imagine for a moment you wanted to find a woman who was instead interested in cars. The obvious thing to do is join car clubs, attend auto meets and shows or motorsport events. This way you are starting out in a group where interest in cars is already established. Being part of an interest community means you avoid the guesswork.
In the kink world there are kink and bdsm communities, joining these will ensure you start with the right people and eliminate a lot of the guesswork. The easiest and most friendly way to get started is seeking out the social meetings for these groups in the form of local munches. A munch is a straightforward gathering at a bar or restaurant venue where kinky folk gather to just eat, drink and chat about their interest. This is not a place to pick up a submissive woman but you can get to know others in the area, find out what events are held and generally get a feel for the local kink community.
Now the second part of this will come into play, there is a LOT of different kinks, not everyone who is kinky is into all kinks and you may not be either. So even when you are among the kinky there will be some hurdles to jump. So the best thing is to learn as much as you can, read a lot, ask questions and take your time.
Kinky people come from all walks of life with every type of background and it's a lot more common than many people think. Don't worry about women being "saints", they can be every bit as perverted and depraved as some men. You have stated specifically you want to find a submissive woman and the biggest thing to understand here is that you need to build up confidence. Being knowledgeable and confident shows through in body language and how you interact, and this is key. Secondly you must be respectful, so don't think you just need to learn some forceful phrases and you will be able to command respect. It doesn't work that way.
Respect earns respect, demonstrating your character, your knowledge and skills is naturally attractive to submissives. They want someone who can guide them, mold them, control them and dominate them and for this to happen you must earn their respect. Be patient, learn as much as you can and get involved in your community.
Good luck.
This is a really good question, or rather collection of questions about one of the most basic topics, getting started. There is no definitive, one size fits all answer here but I'll do my best and give you my take.
I'm going to assume you are talking about meeting a submissive and/or kinky woman in real life since online it's really just a matter of looking at their profile! In real life (or face to face since online is still real) women do not have a sexuality profile tattooed on their forehead so as you alluded to it's not immediately obvious if someone you've met is kinky or not. The least effective option is just hoping that women you meet randomly under normal circumstances will have some level of kinky interest. It's most certainly not a conversation opening topic so you could be quite a way into a relationship before being able to broach the topic, luckily there is a much better way.
Just imagine for a moment you wanted to find a woman who was instead interested in cars. The obvious thing to do is join car clubs, attend auto meets and shows or motorsport events. This way you are starting out in a group where interest in cars is already established. Being part of an interest community means you avoid the guesswork.
In the kink world there are kink and bdsm communities, joining these will ensure you start with the right people and eliminate a lot of the guesswork. The easiest and most friendly way to get started is seeking out the social meetings for these groups in the form of local munches. A munch is a straightforward gathering at a bar or restaurant venue where kinky folk gather to just eat, drink and chat about their interest. This is not a place to pick up a submissive woman but you can get to know others in the area, find out what events are held and generally get a feel for the local kink community.
Now the second part of this will come into play, there is a LOT of different kinks, not everyone who is kinky is into all kinks and you may not be either. So even when you are among the kinky there will be some hurdles to jump. So the best thing is to learn as much as you can, read a lot, ask questions and take your time.
Kinky people come from all walks of life with every type of background and it's a lot more common than many people think. Don't worry about women being "saints", they can be every bit as perverted and depraved as some men. You have stated specifically you want to find a submissive woman and the biggest thing to understand here is that you need to build up confidence. Being knowledgeable and confident shows through in body language and how you interact, and this is key. Secondly you must be respectful, so don't think you just need to learn some forceful phrases and you will be able to command respect. It doesn't work that way.
Respect earns respect, demonstrating your character, your knowledge and skills is naturally attractive to submissives. They want someone who can guide them, mold them, control them and dominate them and for this to happen you must earn their respect. Be patient, learn as much as you can and get involved in your community.
Good luck.
I read the forum post you shared, and I pretty much understand these rules. I understand the ability of consent and when to do things according to the comfortability of myself and of course the submissive partner. Although, how does one find such BDSM events? or even clubs? Do I just search [My Location] BDSM events?Hello and welcome. Well there's no magic formula for this. I think you can go to events and kinky clubs. Also you can find sub online but it needs more patience. I suggest you not to rush to find sub. It's better to explore more and advance your knowledge then everything will be easier for you. There are many good posts here that you can use like @Dr Optokon posts. I hope you enjoy it and find what you want. And we will be so grateful if you read the rules of site and follow them. I suggest you to read this post too.
True Doms
Being a dom may seem easy, but it actually requires a lot of skills. So who is a true dom? 1. Trustworthy It's the base of BDSM relationship. Sub can trust a true dom in many ways and feel safety beside him/her. 2. Understanding and comminucating True dom will respect sub boundaries and limits...www.kinktalk.com
I'm guessing you are responding to my post. I know there are submissive woman out there, it's just feels difficult, but then again, everything is difficult for a reason. Trust, and comfortability. Currently a college student, and being a student who seems innocent on the outside, but people would be surprised if they knew this side of me lmao. I just find it hard to know if my thoughts of wanting to follow the feelings of this song I like to hear at times is wrong, or is there something wrong with me?
The song: [ "Nine Inch Nails" - Closer ]
Absolutely yes. Just google bdsm munch [your area] and you should get responses, If you live in a small town, less than say 20-30,000 people try the closest larger town.
Read this post that goes into some depth around this topic.
Turning fantasy into reality
Lately there have been a number of posts discussing various fantasy situations along with ideas and arguments about how to make them real. So what's this all about, do fantasies really translate to reality? It's complicated. Psychologists agree that everyone has fantasies, it's a normal and...
lol you made me laugh on the "so don't think you just need to learn some forceful phrases and you will be able to command respect." Yes, respect takes time. I should have known, that is something even I do in terms of protecting myself from malice people. It make sense. Well, I just don't know where to search these munches, plus I am a bit introverted, but I've been working on my social skills lately. I'm curious to find new people and build new connections with these social interactions, because I get to level up my social skills and knowledge on this topic.
Thanks, I will do just that!Absolutely yes. Just google bdsm munch [your area] and you should get responses, If you live in a small town, less than say 20-30,000 people try the closest larger town.
Read this post that goes into some depth around this topic.
Turning fantasy into reality
Lately there have been a number of posts discussing various fantasy situations along with ideas and arguments about how to make them real. So what's this all about, do fantasies really translate to reality? It's complicated. Psychologists agree that everyone has fantasies, it's a normal and...www.kinktalk.com
Also, I read the forum post you shared, and it made me feel more at ease. Regadless, I appreciate the help
I know many intelligent, submissive feminist women. In fact, I'm in relationships with a couple of them.
There isn't a place you go to meet intelligent submissive women, at least not in my experience. They don't congregate in the Ph.D. aisle at Submissives-R-Us.
The people I've met, I've met in the same places you meet anyone--through friends, at work, at social events, online, standing in line for the elevator in a hotel, you name it.
If you deliberately set out to create a social circle that favors sex-positive people, you will, in my experience, tend to select in favor of all three things you're looking for: kinky, smart, and feminist. (If there's a sex việt Geek group in your town, check it out! If there isn't, start one!) If you engage with women as people first, rather than as potential sex partners first, you'll find it becomes much easier to get close to people.
There isn't a place you go to meet intelligent submissive women, at least not in my experience. They don't congregate in the Ph.D. aisle at Submissives-R-Us.
The people I've met, I've met in the same places you meet anyone--through friends, at work, at social events, online, standing in line for the elevator in a hotel, you name it.
If you deliberately set out to create a social circle that favors sex-positive people, you will, in my experience, tend to select in favor of all three things you're looking for: kinky, smart, and feminist. (If there's a sex việt Geek group in your town, check it out! If there isn't, start one!) If you engage with women as people first, rather than as potential sex partners first, you'll find it becomes much easier to get close to people.
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Yes we are. Most of us don't wear a sign, so it might be difficult to easily identify and distinguish us from common folk. But your search is well worth the effort because once you find and add us to your lair, you will be handsomely rewarded with a lifetime of pleasure and an abundance of sexual treasure.
You're already in the right community to find like-minded individuals who share your interests. It can definitely feel challenging to bring up these topics, but being open and honest with potential partners is key. Look for people who are receptive to discussing various interests and who seem comfortable with exploring new ideas. It’s important to build trust and get to know someone before diving into specific kinks or fetishes.
Also, remember that everyone has their own journey with sexuality, and it’s normal to feel unsure at first. Engaging in communities where people discuss these interests openly can help you feel more comfortable and find others who share your passions. Keep exploring and interacting, and you’ll likely find people who are interested in the same things.
So you are on the younger side too? Might be a reason as to why its harder for you to be "confident about the topic".
There is quite a lot of kinky women in the wild. If you ever see the kinds of books they are reading or hear the topics they are discussing, you will most likely be shocked at how many women like that are in your day to day life.
As of "figuring out" if they are with it, id say that the best approach is (if you want to play it safe) keywords.
Yup... keywords, they could easily slip out during a normal conversation, without you even intending them to (I'm speaking from personal experience here). The person on the other side will either be:
A) confused
B) intrigued
C) disgusted (aka the person is a victim of "curiosity killed the cat")
Another good way is, if you have a mutual interest in art!
Art blurrs many lines, so a lot of "taboo" topics, suddenly become "poetic" and " profound".
Sexuality and art are connected, so it's easy to have a civil discussion/ share opinions on sexual things thrue art, without making it "weird".
Both of these have worked for me to "test the water" but it all comes down to how you approach the topic! As stated by another user above:
I wish you luck and also, take my advice with a grain of salt. A good chunk (if not all) of the users who have responded to you have more existence in this feald.
If you have a close friend who you can share all of this with, id recommend it as well. It helps a lot, with feeling more comfortable with discussing and approaching the topic.
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