How to get rid of mood changes ? In bdsm lifestyle

[Fighter&Lover]

1 year ago , I've knew Bdsm for the 1st time as its name ( i mean i was actually have many fetch and love to control but i wasn't know if that's actually normal thing and popular or I'm just psycho) after i knew bdsm and search more & more about it also I've visited so many websites and talking with many people and I've get fun as i want but , I've face a big problem it was " Mood Changes "
After having done anything with sub i feel guilty and feel that I'm psycho and so aggressive sometimes i love that & sometimes no which make me confused
Who am i ?
If I'm a Master or I'm just seeker ?
Or I'm normal person who wants to get fun ?
All these questions i can't answer about it
So how to deal with Mood changes ?

Thx if u read all this & I'm ready to know the answer or even talk about that if someone faced what i faced

 

[Gengis]

After having done anything with sub i feel guilty and feel that I'm psycho and so aggressive sometimes i love that & sometimes no which make me confused

That my friend has a name, now i dont recall but some1 will help for sure.
No worries, if u felt guilty means u are not a psycho, means you are a person.
The same things happens to subs.
Meditation, knowing taht u are not crazy, cont crossing any lines and respecting limits and the after care should help both.

Aroudn the forum ull see many people, my self included, stating taht aftercare is mandatory. It is because of the phisical injuries and mental ones.

 

[Fighter&Lover]

That my friend has a name, now i dont recall but some1 will help for sure.
No worries, if u felt guilty means u are not a psycho, means you are a person.
The same things happens to subs.
Meditation, knowing taht u are not crazy, cont crossing any lines and respecting limits and the after care should help both.

Thx for help
But even if i know that's a normal thing i Don't like it
I wanna get rid of it i wanna know the reason of it

 

[Gengis]

It will come and go, sometimes u wont feel it, sometimes u will do.

I dont know, cuddling, kissing, hugging, reaffirmation sentences, making sure ur partner is ok, making sure ur partner dont regret it, and all kind of positive things will healp to ease the feeling, but id say... ull allways feel it to a certain level.

If u beat some1 to a pulp, cum and then leave... probably ull feel guilty

 

[Fighter&Lover]

It will come and go, sometimes u wont feel it, sometimes u will do.

I dont know, cuddling, kissing, hugging, reaffirmation sentences, making sure ur partner is ok, making sure ur partner dont regret it, and all kind of positive things will healp to ease the feeling, but id say... ull allways feel it to a certain level.

If u beat some1 to a pulp, cum and then leave... probably ull feel guilty

I got u thx for helping me understand maybe these steps help with it

 

[Gengis]

Also, read about your specific kinks, if u like spanking, for instance, read about it. learn what may happen, where u should never hit (joints, spine, neck, back of the hed.....) Learn selfcontrol, there is also an adrenaline rush that both will suffer, one willl hit harder th eother will ask to be hit harder... and if happen to mix together it could end bad

u need to be in total control, its your responsability, take it serious, once u start its no "game".

 

[Fighter&Lover]

Also, read about your specific kinks, if u like spanking, for instance, read about it. learn what may happen, where u should never hit (joints, spine, neck, back of the hed.....) Learn selfcontrol, there is also an adrenaline rush that both will suffer, one willl hit harder th eother will ask to be hit harder... and if happen to mix together it could end bad

u need to be in total control, its your responsability, take it serious, once u start its no "game".

Thx for that i will actually read about them also I'm totally aware that it's my responsibility and I have the control

 

[Gengis]

Great, at the forum ull find people who will answer more deeply and probably with more knowledge than me.
Youll see nobody recommends choking, so if u up to it, read the post, theres a recent one xD

Also forgot to say your wellcome, its nice to find people who want do it right.

 

[Fighter&Lover]

Great, at the forum ull find people who will answer more deeply and probably with more knowledge than me.
Youll see nobody recommends choking, so if u up to it, read the post, theres a recent one xD

Yea actually i wanna hear more and more about this i Wanna learn in general

 

[subzzzero]

Imposter syndrome is a possibility. You’re young and very inexperienced. Local munches meets and mentors would help a lot. But that being said.

Are you a master? Depends. Do you mean master as in you’ve perfected the craft and have lots of knowledge and experience? No you are not. Could you be a master in role only as master slave play? Possibly. But seeing as you feel regret after your actions maybe not that either.

Why do you feel this way? My questions to you would be.
What exactly did you do kink wise with the sub?
What was the subs reaction to those actions ?
What aftercare did you have in place?
How long did your dynamics last with each sub?
How did they end?
What did you learn from each one?
These answered will all help someone give you better direction.

But the biggest question to ask yourself. Why do I want to do this and what do I enjoy about it?

 

[Naughty nova]

A few more questions. Do you give your sub a safe word. If you do, do you respect that safe word? If you don't give them a safe word or respect that then yes they will leave.

I am a masochist and will take a pretty good beating. But I also know that my Daddy dom will 100% stop immediately if I give the word. He has also asked me during those beatings are you ok can you take more. That always helps me. Because if I don't feel safe in the knowledge he will stop if I get to that point then I could not take as much. We also talk after and he reassures me that he respect me and that even though we use humil and degradation he does not feel that about me only in scenes. If you are feeling guilty then have you disconnected somewhere along the line. Do you and your subs talk things through after. Do you follow the rules you have in place. I have hard limits as most dom or sub have. My limits have changed some as trust in my daddy has grown. He will ask if I am willing to try something and if I say no he respects that. If I say I am willing to try then we ease into it. Humiliation and degradation were hard limits of mine. Now I enjoy them very much whith Daddy. Now if a random dom were to use that on me that would be a heck no move along. But with trust you both should feel comfortable to at least discuss different kinks.

 

[Zephyr876]

1 year ago , I've knew Bdsm for the 1st time as its name ( i mean i was actually have many fetch and love to control but i wasn't know if that's actually normal thing and popular or I'm just psycho) after i knew bdsm and search more & more about it also I've visited so many websites and talking with many people and I've get fun as i want but , I've face a big problem it was " Mood Changes "
After having done anything with sub i feel guilty and feel that I'm psycho and so aggressive sometimes i love that & sometimes no which make me confused
Who am i ?
If I'm a Master or I'm just seeker ?
Or I'm normal person who wants to get fun ?
All these questions i can't answer about it
So how to deal with Mood changes ?

Thx if u read all this & I'm ready to know the answer or even talk about that if someone faced what i faced

Hi.... I really want to share my story, maybe it helps address your issue of mood change, when you identify why it happens in the first place. So I am a sub have been a sub for as long as I gained sexual consciousness. The thought of someone dominating me, and then loving and caring for me demanding the submission of my mind, body and soul has been a desire. I did not accept it at first....I did not accept myself!! I felt guilty, like I am a bad person for wanting it. I came across this work my the Indian saint Vatsayana "Kamasutra" or the Art of Making Love. You must search and read if you are into reading. I began accepting myself post that. Also we all have psychosexual subconscious desires which often manifest as our fantasy and kinks. When I read all this I realised that the kinks I had, the fetishes I have are all that makes me a human. It makes me who I am and then with this realisation came acceptance. Knowledge of our selves, of what we like, our shortcomings and failures it can make us accept ourselves, and can be very liberating, physically, sexually, emotionally and gives us space to understand what we want to become and how we can change gently with kindness what we don't like. Also all social, religious conditioning we get is political when analysed from an anthropological perspective. It's there to control you.... Please please be like Buddha.... Look inside rather than outside. God, good, spirituality comes from experience. God talks through experience and sex is liberating. It is a cosmic dance. It is pure cosmic energy, how you use it, how you mold it, what you make of it is up to you. You are the creator the divine that ways.... I could go on and on. Extremely sorry for this long long message!! What I suggest is look inside, look in the mirror, accept yourself, it will happen with time and embrace your sexuality. If you do this you will start respecting those that submit to you. And the result will be pure bliss and pleasure....and a healthy relationship.

PS: I too am learning. This is what I have learnt. Wanted to share only because it worked for me. Please don't misunderstand me.... I am not one to teach anyone. Just shared and wrote in a flow so please pardon me if the language appears that of a preacher. I am no one to preach or teach. That's how I talked to myself so came out in stream of consciousness. Also sharing in hope that this may help in anyway. Take care and wish you the best!!

 

[Fighter&Lover]

Imposter syndrome is a possibility. You’re young and very inexperienced. Local munches meets and mentors would help a lot. But that being said.

Thx for all this
I got u at all it depends on how I've done it with my sub
I think that's the problem I've been more aggressive with no need for this

 

[Fighter&Lover]

A few more questions. Do you give your sub a safe word. If you do, do you respect that safe word? If you don't give them a safe word or respect that then yes they will leave.

I love how your relationship with ur daddy is

I think this happend with both of u cuz you both have chemistry between

Also the main factor is you're real sub i guess not seeker all subs before I've met was seekers which they aren't subs

So how to get to this point with your relationship as you do with ur daddy ?

 

[Fighter&Lover]

Hi.... I really want to share my story, maybe it helps address your issue of mood change, when you identify why it happens in the first place. So I am a sub have been a sub for as long as I gained sexual consciousness. The thought of someone dominating me, and then loving and caring for

Really it's a lovely storry !
I guess that you're a nerd u have read too much and learned too
Maybe I've to look inside again i think i have lost my connection with me

Don't worry you're doing good it's not too long as much as it's have a value
I've read all of it
Thx for your sharing this is really helped

 

[Naughty nova]

I love how your relationship with ur daddy is

I think this happend with both of u cuz you both have chemistry between

Also the main factor is you're real sub i guess not seeker all subs before I've met was seekers which they aren't subs

So how to get to this point with your relationship as you do with ur daddy ?

Lots of talking not just about kinky things but getting yo know eachother talking about day. Being able to adjust. I am a little most of the time with Daddy but sometimes I am more sub then little. My little side can't handle the degradation or humiliation but can take more pain then my straight sub side. When I am big/ sub I call him sir when I am little I call him Daddy so he knows how to handle whichever side of me shows up and he adjust to that.

 

[Fighter&Lover]

Lots of talking not just about kinky things but getting yo know eachother talking about day. Being able to adjust. I am a little most of the time with Daddy but sometimes I am more sub then little. My little side can't handle the degradation or humiliation but can take more pain then my straight sub side. When I am big/ sub I call him sir when I am little I call him Daddy so he knows how to handle whichever side of me shows up and he adjust to that.

Really interesting relationship to learn from it !