Insanely Dominant husband, I want to take it further to CNC, a dilemma, need guidance.

happilymarried

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Hi, I'm trying to understand something, so if someone can enlighten me on this question of mine: If I am allowing my husband to pin me down and force orgasms on me without a fiber of me fighting back or disagreeing, then it not Consenting No-Consent right?

And sorry, English is my third language. And if you can give me tips on how to proceed with CNC with my husband as I not even sure I understand CNC correctly.

---------------

My husband whom I'm 12 years married to and I absolutely trust him 100%, and we wouldn't be married this long if we not sexually compatible.

My husband, how do I say this, he likes sex based on his impulse, like spontaneous like out of no where he just stare and stare at me and pin me down the bed and fuck me till I throb all over and can't take the multiple vaginal orgasms anymore and BEG him to stop.

He can be a bit rough. Rough here I mean he will use his body force to pin me down the bed, one hand pin my wrist down, one hand pin my shoulder or has his hand on my neck (not in any way choke me or anything). He can be hard with pin my wrist and forceful with his body restraint me, but never in any way rough with my neck, he knows what to do.

And don't get me wrong, I enjoy it (as I said in my OP title, I fully consent it without a fiber of me fighting back), I'm not complaining as without him I wouldn't know the pleasure of multiple vaginal orgasms.

Overtime married to him, I developed two BDSM kinks (kinks can develope based on what you exposed to right?) I want him to tie my wrists with cloth to the bed (light bondage), and let try Consensual No-Consent. So I talk to him earlier today before he went to work, and his response was:
(I'm so shy, it took me like half a year to have the guts to talk to him about my kinks)

---------

He said he not into BDSM, and he just a normal sex person who likes to be dominant in bed want to please his wife.

He said he will NOT tie my hand to the bed, as he said that way it is the cloth/rope that restrain me, not him. What he wants is himself use his body to restraint me with his body, pin my wrist down, etc.. he said he does not want rope/cloth to restraint his wife, he can do it. If you get his dominant mindset?

And Consensual Non-Consent which I give him an article I printed out for him to read, lol. He said if that is what I will he will do it. (I guess he ok with it as it not effecting his insanely dominant way, he still be the one does 100% of the work in bed like his usual style).

I told him I don't want it (sex) to be a chore, he said it won't be as he always has been the one that does 100% of initiating sex, if he the one that initiaate 100% then it not a chore.

He said he has no problem of (go by his spontaneous/impulse) out of no where pin me against the wall, or push me down the bed, or pin me down the carpet, etc.. and fuck me, that is his styles/his ways. Just tell him to stop when my body can't take it anymore.

Or I can tell I can tell him how I want it and when I want it, my way.

He said he will fuck me when he comes home from work, so I have time to think while he at work, and tell him what I want when he comes home.

I told him I will think about it and tell him later (as I drop the subject at the time), as I was speechless at the time, whoa. my husband refused to light bondage, as he not want cloth to restraint me, but he wants his body to restrain me. And whoa. he has no problem of spontaneously pin me against the wall or the carpet and fuck me out of no where. I'm spechless.

He however give me a choice though, does it 'his' ways, or just tell him 'my way' how I want it.

I'm here still try to process his answers to me, and how to proceed with CNC with how he is and his styles. Perhaps CNC is just not gonna work for a normal man like him?
 
Last edited:

Doctor Pervert

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In the context you describe CNC implies that you will be fighting and resisting as if it is not consensual. That's the premise behind Consensual, Non-consensual, it's in essence a role play activity.
If I am allowing my husband to pin me down and force orgasms on me without a fiber of me fighting back or disagreeing, then it not Consenting No-Consent right?
So as you state here correctly what you are currently doing is not CNC.

I'm here still try to process his answers to me, and how to proceed with CNC with how he is and his styles. Perhaps CNC is just not gonna work for a normal man like him?
Now it really sounds like your husband is not comfortable in having you resist or fight him at all and so he is not going to join in the essential role play for CNC. I think you're correct, the whole concept of CNC seems to be out of the question for him.
 
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happilymarried

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Thank you Admin, I'm sorry I bother you here again, I was here 6 months ago asked about my husband, and now I'm back agian, sorrie.

So basically Consensual Non-Consent, I have to resist and fight him just like how R is, as that is the essensial part of the role play in CNC, right? Just want to be sure.

You are right. He absolutely does not want me to reisit him or fight him back in any way, in fact he get hella mad if I resist him. Which I have no problem with submit to him completely as long as his penis gives me the pleasure of vaginal orgasms, lol.

You know in BDSM I thought Dom love tie the Sub up, bondage. But he refused to even give me light bondage.
Him? No. He wants to be the one physically keeping me restrained, not ropes. He said if he tie me up that would be the ropes keeping me submit, not him. Why needs ropes when he can restrain me into submission. I guess he just doesn't ride his high that way.

He has this impulse like there times when he came in our bedroom and he lock our bedroom door ((which he only does this occasionally, based on his mood). And like himself he likes sex on his impulse, he unbutton his long sleeve dress shirt and pin me down the bed and just fuck me.
Don't get me wrong, I like it, and it not force if I'm willing to open my legs and welcome him do whatever. I could have push him off but I didn't, I moan his name and orgasms.

-----------

Earlier today he also said if he knows I like him lock the bedroom door he will does it everytime now, and not just only that, he wants to pin me down our bedroom carpet and fuck me while I'm laying on the carpet. That his plan, unless I want something else then tell him when he comes home from work.
He said if we going to do the CNC his ways, then let him does it on his impulse, and I can tell him to stop during the act.

Unless I want something else my way then tell him what I want.

I'm still drawing blank, and he will come home from work, lol. I guess I just let him lead (like usual) and say stop when I not like something he does.

Perhaps my husband is just a normal man who dominant in bed, I'm just not understand BDSM correctly (apologize for that).

He did score 100% Domiant and 100% Vanilla in the bdsm test which I asked him to take. If he is this much Vanilla, not even have a slightest of bondage kink, tie the woman up in any way, then how can he can be BDSM?

I'm sorry I'm a woman, and I'm just trying to understand his mindset, which isn't easy. Maybe the men here can.

It actually not hard to talk to him as he very upfront tell me what he will do to me and what he will not. It his mindset I not get, he not the normal man, but then he also not a BDSM man.
 
Last edited:

subzzzero

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I’ll be honest I put this thread on watch so I could come back and reply when I had time. You have your account limiting who can see it so I could not review your prior posts to help enough.
 

happilymarried

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Sorry English is my third language so if I misunderstand anything, apology first.

Thank you subzzzero, my other post is right in this sub Relationship, just scroll the down the page you and see it. It the same as this one, at the time I ask about my kink of want him to tie my wrists to the bed with cloth.

Thank you NurseP for your input, my apology, I admit I know nothing about BDSM and I'm brand new to it hence I ask. I didn't label him anything, other than saying he very dominant in his sex style.
And all I said was I asked if I understand this question correctly:
If I am allowing my husband to pin me down and force orgasms on me without a fiber of me fighting back or disagreeing, then it not Consenting No-Consent right?

The reason why I asked this is because I have a friend that help gave me an advice and said this to me, her quotes: [[ If you're allowing him you hold you down without "fighting back" or "disagreeing" in some way, I don't think it's viewed as CNC ]]

Because she told me that, hence I been thinking maybe I understand Consensual No-Consent incorrectly or I misunderstood it.

I also was told since I am willingly to let him has sex with me however he wants it whenever he wants it, then I'm "Free Use". But I never mention this label in my OP at all.

Anyhoo, thank you for those who help me in this thread. Appreciated alot. I know everyone time is precious.
 

Mandithedog

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Hi, I'm trying to understand something, so if someone can enlighten me on this question of mine: If I am allowing my husband to pin me down and force orgasms on me without a fiber of me fighting back or disagreeing, then it not Consenting No-Consent right?

And sorry, English is my third language. And if you can give me tips on how to proceed with CNC with my husband as I not even sure I understand CNC correctly.

---------------

My husband whom I'm 12 years married to and I absolutely trust him 100%, and we wouldn't be married this long if we not sexually compatible.

My husband, how do I say this, he likes sex based on his impulse, like spontaneous like out of no where he just stare and stare at me and pin me down the bed and fuck me till I throb all over and can't take the multiple vaginal orgasms anymore and BEG him to stop.

He can be a bit rough. Rough here I mean he will use his body force to pin me down the bed, one hand pin my wrist down, one hand pin my shoulder or has his hand on my neck (not in any way choke me or anything). He can be hard with pin my wrist and forceful with his body restraint me, but never in any way rough with my neck, he knows what to do.

And don't get me wrong, I enjoy it (as I said in my OP title, I fully consent it without a fiber of me fighting back), I'm not complaining as without him I wouldn't know the pleasure of multiple vaginal orgasms.

Overtime married to him, I developed two BDSM kinks (kinks can develope based on what you exposed to right?) I want him to tie my wrists with cloth to the bed (light bondage), and let try Consensual No-Consent. So I talk to him earlier today before he went to work, and his response was:
(I'm so shy, it took me like half a year to have the guts to talk to him about my kinks)

---------

He said he not into BDSM, and he just a normal sex person who likes to be dominant in bed want to please his wife.

He said he will NOT tie my hand to the bed, as he said that way it is the cloth/rope that restrain me, not him. What he wants is himself use his body to restraint me with his body, pin my wrist down, etc.. he said he does not want rope/cloth to restraint his wife, he can do it. If you get his dominant mindset?

And Consensual Non-Consent which I give him an article I printed out for him to read, lol. He said if that is what I will he will do it. (I guess he ok with it as it not effecting his insanely dominant way, he still be the one does 100% of the work in bed like his usual style).

I told him I don't want it (sex) to be a chore, he said it won't be as he always has been the one that does 100% of initiating sex, if he the one that initiaate 100% then it not a chore.

He said he has no problem of (go by his spontaneous/impulse) out of no where pin me against the wall, or push me down the bed, or pin me down the carpet, etc.. and fuck me, that is his styles/his ways. Just tell him to stop when my body can't take it anymore.

Or I can tell I can tell him how I want it and when I want it, my way.

He said he will fuck me when he comes home from work, so I have time to think while he at work, and tell him what I want when he comes home.

I told him I will think about it and tell him later (as I drop the subject at the time), as I was speechless at the time, whoa. my husband refused to light bondage, as he not want cloth to restraint me, but he wants his body to restrain me. And whoa. he has no problem of spontaneously pin me against the wall or the carpet and fuck me out of no where. I'm spechless.

He however give me a choice though, does it 'his' ways, or just tell him 'my way' how I want it.

I'm here still try to process his answers to me, and how to proceed with CNC with how he is and his styles. Perhaps CNC is just not gonna work for a normal man like him?
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