Kink Talk usage poll.

[Doctor Pervert]

As northern summertime approaches I figure it'd be a good time to do a review of what people want when they join us here at Kink Talk.

• What brought you here and why do you keep coming back?
• What type of content do you like most and why?
• Let us know your gripes, what is there too much of?
• Do you feel like you can contribute, or does it feel intimidating to do so?

All that and anything else you want to say about Kink Talk. I'm a dirty old pervert with a thick hide so nothing is gonna offend me, be as honest as you want.
And this applies to subs too, I know some feel it's not their place to speak up but I say screw that, time to tell us what you think.

 

[happilymarried]

I'm just here for educational content. Just want to understand my husband more if he has a BDSM kink of some sort, I think he has one, the insanely Dominant trait kink, lol.

Thank you Sir Moderator for last time help me in my thread. about my husband I really appreciated the Mods here for their time run the forum and this forum itself, it has help me alot, and alot of educational stuff here too.

 

[subzzzero]

My honest thought about the finding a play for irl vote is that I don’t think the numbers membership wise are here to be conducive to that. Even if you hit the same country state or province it’s usually too far off still. Nothing can be done to change that. I just think realistically there’s not much chance connecting local here. I’m not seeking that by any means I know the limitations of each kink site.

I will say I do like that this place stays smaller and has a solid core crew of good kinksters who will quickly band together to call out the fake abusers and scammers.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

My honest thought about the finding a play for irl vote is that I don’t think the numbers membership wise are here to be conducive to that. Even if you hit the same country state or province it’s usually too far off still. Nothing can be done to change that. I just think realistically there’s not much chance connecting local here.

I agree, my reason for including that response was to try and gauge how many people have that expectation.

Kink Talk is a good forum for online connections, it suits the numbers and demographic but I don't think we currently do enough to support this properly.
My personal feeling is that we need to better reflect the situation. Things such as ways to display/manage your available times or timezone information to make connecting easier.

I'm also toying with an idea to introduce some additional strategies to combat catfishing and fakes while at the same time enhancing our verification system. I have wondered if some sort of "fantasy" or "roleplayer" title tag could be used? This way people can pick a role and/or gender and post as if they are, but with the clear proviso that they may (probably) are a different gender. This way those comfortable with this kind of play can then go about their activity without disrupting others. However it seems that a lot of the catfish/fakes relish deceiving others as part of their ruse so I'm doubtful this would do much if anything to redress things.

Now while the early results of the poll are too soon to gauge real trends, casual online play and education are equal top so far which would indicate the sentiments raised.

 

[Cstelle]

Random thoughts (because I'm watching the Coronation with the other eye):

I started using KT as an addition to gD - as a place where I meant to explore my interest in taking naughty selfies. I think I hoped to find a small community of like-minded people. In that I was disappointed. But back then the picture rules were different and Jennifer was running an exposure thing. That really reeled me in (even though I didn't participate)! Recognising my fascination even helped me understand myself a bit better! Then that ended and there were new rules, etc.

I still log on almost every day - mostly to be disappointed yet again. Latest case: Descent Into Depravity. Such a great, great idea! I was waiting for the idea to develop and more themes to come up. Because I'm not into pain and not really into humiliation either. (I've tried to participate in various online exhibitionist games elsewhere, but they all quickly go from exposing your nakedness to exposing your identity... and worse.)

During the past winter I have pruned my online presence considerably. (I have become old and tired.) It is possible that the main reason for why I still come here is nostalgia. Or hope?​

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I still log on almost every day - mostly to be disappointed yet again. Latest case: Descent Into Depravity. Such a great, great idea!

Thanks for your very thoughtful input, I really appreciate it!

This was kind of the catalyst for me starting this thread, I keep trying to come up with new ideas for people but it takes more than my ideas to create popular content. The participation in these kind of activities in the past usually attracted a lot of interest, admittedly even then it was often a core group of the usual suspect but still it was enough to get wider participation with comments.

Now it seems everyone is looking for one on one hookups or ideas, but even then they come and go so quickly most of the time they really never add anything or stand any real chance of finding anyone.
I've lost count of the number of times I reply to task requests never to hear another word about them, it really doesn't encourage further effort.

I honestly begin to wonder if Kink Talk has outlived it's usefulness, even this plea for feedback has garnered just 12 peoples votes and 3 comments.

What more can we do?

 

[subzzzero]

Sorry I sort of left off the details to why I like it here. The core group who participates is almost like a telegram or discord bdsm group. But with the benefit of the chat history all laid out in an organized manner by subjects and running numerous tabs at once. It also seems to self filter new people just as a group would. Solid members may call it to atttention to admin. Or even recently seeing a group of kinksters come together to help an abuser fake see the error of his ways. I have also seen tons of open accepting helpful discussion towards new people seeking some deep questions they feel they can’t ask anywhere else.

So it’s small and doesn’t currently have a huge foot print of traffic. But I think in a sense that’s what makes it better than the way too big fet.

I think overall Internet kink participation is declining all around as I’ve noticed many less telegram kik and other messenger groups still active. And even on the bigger sites. Things don’t seem as busy as they used to be. Even pre covid.

I think we get the participation here for sure. It just won’t come in a few days time. But fuller discussion may happen over a couple weeks as people stop in.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

So it’s small and doesn’t currently have a huge foot print of traffic. But I think in a sense that’s what makes it better than the way too big fet.

This is one of the options I'd like to explore further, making this into a much more exclusive "club" style venue. Part of the reason a lot of the stalwarts stay away and only drop in from time to time is all the bullshittery that goes on. The dumb ass fakes and catfish and the time wasters or constantly take and never give anything back. On top of that idiotic wannabe doms marching around demanding submission from newbies before they can even blink.
It's too much dross to sort through, despite the best efforts of the staff here to keep things clean and tidy.

I'm not sure that a 100% validated membership is practical or even desirable but perhaps we should introduce a probation system? This may be that first time posters will have all posts moderator checked before they go live, when 5 or 10 decent posts have been made then they will be able to post freely.
Also we could adopt a "code of conduct" that sits beside the rules to layout some of what should be obvious points about how to treat others.

A personal gripe now, since returning from my break here I'm struck by just how many times I respond to posts either directly or via dm, and get a 3 word response if that. It's plain rude and I can see why people don't stick around. We're not here as a content creating bot yet that's how it feels sometimes.

It seems to me that more and more, thanks to tiktok et al, people simply expect to be entertained. No input required, just sit back and watch the show. An entire generation of 15 second attention spans.

Anyway, enough moaning from the old pervert. What do others have to say?

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Here's some additional commentary from @Cstelle that was sent via dm. Reproduced here with permission.

"It is possible that KT has outlived itself - what with the change in the picture rules, etc - but that's life. No blame! The world changes.

Most KT users are men. Your interests are clearly heterosexual. Not all KT users are heterosexual. Yet most (all?) of your ideas are about bruces doing things to sheilas. That, obviously, is quite all right! But KT may need other voices... Bruces who want to be done unto! Sheilas who want to meet other sheilas! Bruces who want to be sheilas! Sheilas who... Well, you get the idea.

I don't know how to "widen the scope" of KT, or even if it would actually help. Maybe the whole internet thing is moving to the tiktok phone kiks, or whatever the skyping discords call themselves!

God! When I was young, we knew how to whistle in modem!"

 

[subdream]

I'm not sure that a 100% validated membership is practical or even desirable but perhaps we should introduce a probation system? This may be that first time posters will have all posts moderator checked before they go live, when 5 or 10 decent posts have been made then they will be able to post freely.

I speak for the second option. 100% validated membership would probably shoo me away as well as other people who don't want to expose their identity online. That's the reason why I don't participate in certain online communities and KT is a nice exception which I would miss in case validation would be reqired.

Also we could adopt a "code of conduct" that sits beside the rules to layout some of what should be obvious points about how to treat others.

I would assume that such a thing is not needed, but a certain discussion with some wannabe dom, either fake or abuser, left me wondering as well. I always assumed everybody in the community for more than a couple days would know SSC or RACK. But I should probably calibrate my views.

A personal gripe now, since returning from my break here I'm struck by just how many times I respond to posts either directly or via dm, and get a 3 word response if that. It's plain rude and I can see why people don't stick around. We're not here as a content creating bot yet that's how it feels sometimes.

I guess it would be best if most or all members would create kink content. But there are kinksters like me. I got opinions, I got a kink life, but I got no creativity. I can help others by composing lists, I can express my appreciation and I can speak out my opinions. But I guess you did mean people should at least participate with their ideas, so I guess I agree with you.

Here's some additional commentary from @Cstelle that was sent via dm. Reproduced here with permission.

"It is possible that KT has outlived itself - what with the change in the picture rules, etc - but that's life. No blame! The world changes.

Most KT users are men. Your interests are clearly heterosexual. Not all KT users are heterosexual. Yet most (all?) of your ideas are about bruces doing things to sheilas. That, obviously, is quite all right! But KT may need other voices... Bruces who want to be done unto! Sheilas who want to meet other sheilas! Bruces who want to be sheilas! Sheilas who... Well, you get the idea.

I don't know how to "widen the scope" of KT, or even if it would actually help. Maybe the whole internet thing is moving to the tiktok phone kiks, or whatever the skyping discords call themselves!

God! When I was young, we knew how to whistle in modem!"

Perhaps it has kind of. But is that a bad thing? Perhaps KT needs a rebirth, but perhaps it's all right the way it is. A home for those who like what it is. KT seems to have most of it's activity from exposing people, but that's no longer an option here. So kinksters who are into exposure have been driven away, thus reducing the activity. KT will see more activity, especially from sheilas (if I get what you mean by that), if it is a safe heaven. I got no idea yet on how to achieve that.

I got the impression that most girls leave the site after a couple weeks, probably because they get overwhelmed with requests. If we find a way to reduce that, it might be worth a shot.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Thank you @subdream, I think your comments are all on point and I agree.

Your comment about participation is spot on, different people can contribute in different ways. Now while some may be good at creating threads others tend to prefer commenting on them. Same when it comes to task requests and posts. The point is this is a community forum, we are not content creators for others to just consume. We need everyone to participate in some way or everything grinds to a halt.

As to genders and the divisions in membership and activity, this is where things really diverge. First up I did some quick numbers so we know what's actually going on. I broke the searches down into cis male and female then all non cis genders in one group as they don't represent a big proportion individually.

	Cis Female	Cis Male	All non cis genders
Sub/slave	7325	19691	1467
Dom/switch	4322	20696	616

I excluded all banned users from this, but it represents all the current registered members.
Now compare that to those who have been active or registered this year.

	Cis Female	Cis Male	All non cis genders
Sub/slave	418	1061	120
Dom/switch	210	1189	33

Interestingly the ratios seem to stay pretty constant. The big take away here is that males seem to be almost evenly divided between sub/dom while females are around 3:1 subs to doms. However in total when combined subs/doms the ratio is about 4:1 males to females.

The gender disparity is obvious and this certainly contributes to this;

I got the impression that most girls leave the site after a couple weeks, probably because they get overwhelmed with requests.

To a lot of female newbies this place must feel like shark tank...

Moving on.

@Cstelle asked me to ponder this;

"Most KT users are men. Your interests are clearly heterosexual. Not all KT users are heterosexual. Yet most (all?) of your ideas are about bruces doing things to sheilas. That, obviously, is quite all right! But KT may need other voices... Bruces who want to be done unto! Sheilas who want to meet other sheilas! Bruces who want to be sheilas! Sheilas who... Well, you get the idea."

And they're 100% spot on. I am very hetero and the majority of my posts reflect that. And this is why MORE PEOPLE NEED TO CONTRIBUTE. I can't do what I don't know.
So next I've pulled the stats for sexual identity. (active this year only)

	Cis male	Cis Female
dom/switch straight	888	103
sub/slave straight	517	216
dom/switch gay/lesbian	64	13
sub/slave gay/lesbian	126	17
dom/switch bi	237	94
sub/slave bi	356	185

This is where the major disparity becomes clear, 517 straight male subs with only 103 straight female doms.
Yeah.

And of course the opposite problem for the 888 (yes I checked it twice, lol) straight male doms to just 216 straight female subs. No wonder those poor girls feel like the hunted, they are!

Now at this point, my head is overflowing with numbers so I'm gonna grab a beer and zone out for a while leaving more analysis to anyone else who wants to jump in.

 

[subdream]

Thank you @subdream, I think your comments are all on point and I agree.

In case I wasn't as clear as I thought I'd be: whenever somebody starts something and it's partly creative work and partly boring record keeping, I do volunteer for the second part. Just get in touch with me. That's what I can contribute to this site apart from my opinions.

To a lot of female newbies this place must feel like shark tank...

While hunter/prey is a kink some people might have, many don't. So... for a big chunk, this situation is unfavorable.

Now at this point, my head is overflowing with numbers so I'm gonna grab a beer and zone out for a while leaving more analysis to anyone else who wants to jump in.

You already did a big chunk of analysis. Numbers seem to support what we already assumed.

 

[subzzzero]

I think this ratio at least cis male Dom to cis female sub is accurate among all communities online for sure.
Lots of those males are just horny and got here for porn and hopes of interactive porn. I think that’s why you see a more even ratio in the local groups in person. The vetting weeds out the shitty fakes and you’re left with a closer ratio. Online that’s pretty much impossible to make happen.
I always tell new subs that 1 out of every 50-100 guys reaching out to them will be a decent one.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Lots of those males are just horny and got here for porn and hopes of interactive porn.

This is a fact. I would say the majority of guys registering as dom do it simply because they think sub girls will just do what they want and send them some wanking material. My real life experience is that the ratio of subs to doms is more like 2:1 or even 3:1 and this runs across all genders. In practice there were always more subs than doms at parties and munches.

I think part of the disparity is that in general females access porn less than males which reflects in the total numbers. Whereas in real life women are just as active in the BDSM community as men.

 

[subdream]

I think part of the disparity is that in general females access porn less than males which reflects in the total numbers. Whereas in real life women are just as active in the BDSM community as men.

If one needs pictures of naked people, it's only a couple klicks away. Why jump through hoops for it?

 

[subzzzero]

If one needs pictures of naked people, it's only a couple klicks away. Why jump through hoops for it?

Same reason they will pay for it on cam sites like chaturbate, cam 4, OF. They like that part that allows them to direct or suggest the models action. That interaction piece. And as prior stated they think all subs will just bend cuz they have self labeled as “Dom”

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Same reason they will pay for it on cam sites like chaturbate, cam 4, OF. They like that part that allows them to direct or suggest the models action. That interaction piece. And as prior stated they think all subs will just bend cuz they have self labeled as “Dom”

Bingo!

That's it in a nutshell.
A good 75% or more of those with a dom label join a kink site, thinking they'll just boss girls around and get em to send photos or videos. That's all they want.

 

[subdream]

That's so weird. I can't understand that concept. I can accept that others have it, but I can't get it into my head.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

That's so weird. I can't understand that concept. I can accept that others have it, but I can't get it into my head.

Yeah, and that's just one of the problems.
How about the guys pretending to be girls so they can chat to guys and pretend to do tasks? I mean how convoluted is that? If you're gay and want to be dominated by guys then just say so. At least then they will give out tasks that are appropriate.

"I don't get it" is the byline here.
Not kink shaming anyone but there is so much deception going on here and mostly that's due to the gender disparity. Not to mention all the scammers preying on the desperation especially in the femdom market. Why do people keep falling for the obvious scams? I don't get it.

As they said in the movie Full Monty, "nothin queer as folk"...

 

[subzzzero]

There tons of guys who will pose as female when they see a female sub seeking female domme as well lol.

Shit remember the one “Dom” who got called out on stuff and then he makes a burner submissive account and replied to his own post as if he was a sub responding to his Dom ad. Classic