Long Distance Dom

[Nibroc2021]

My fiancé and I have been into BDSM to varying degrees for several years, though it hasn't really become prominent until the last year or so (and even then mostly just bondage and light pain/humiliation). One of the challenges in our relationship is distance - we're both finishing up college about four hours away from one another. We love the physical and immediate aspects of BDSM (the things we can do when we're alone with each other), but I was wondering if anyone had advice for keeping the dom/sub dichotomy alive at a distance. I think it would make our physical encounters much more explosive if teasing and tension could be done for long periods of time over a distance. Any advice would be appreciated!

 

[Gmghost]

Depending on the circumstances and ability to meet up you could try a cock cage/chastity. You keep the key so he can't get out of it until you visit him. Depending on if you don't get to see him that often you could buy the cage, take the key out and then send it to him. Make him show you (camera phone or whatever you use) that it is on and locked until you release him. If you haven't done a charity/cage I would start with a shorter amount of time. It would be wise to invest in a decent one that can stay hidden under clothes and all allow him to go to the bathroom. You can have him in it for days. Then keep sending him nude pics, and talk dirty to him to get him begging!

 

[Gmghost]

Sorry I didn't see you were the male Dom. There are female chasity belts. Cam play is probably your best option. You can try things like having her be "on call" during the day. You can assign her tasks like, you can't wear underwear, or insert a butt plug and keep it in for x hours. During the tasks you can text her and give her only a couple minutes to respond with a picture showing she is obeying you. If she cheats you can tell her "she's in trouble" the next time you meet up, but don't tell her how she will be punished. A way to find out more about what she wants and if she wants to explore more, is to have her write possible punishments she thinks fits the disobedience. She may surprise you and want to go further. If you are both exploring you can try trading tasks for the day and she gets to have you do stuff. I've found that semi public play is a huge turn on. Wearing a butt plug or doing something that won't expose you if you are careful but you wouldn't want those around you to find out you are currently doing will give you both a stronger relationship and provide a lot of laughs because you both are sharing and kinky secret!

 

[Nibroc2021]

Those are great tips! We don't have any toys right now that are really wearable. Dildos, bullets, all manner of restraints, but nothing like chastity belts or butt plugs (yet). As for the panties thing, we actually did that and it went over really well - she was in class and I told her to take a bathroom break, take off her underwear, and keep them in her purse for the rest of the day. I would like to do more things like that, but I can't think of anything else given our toy limitations. Any ideas that are more like that?

 

[Kikker]

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