Mistakes men make with women (And vice versa!) BDSM version

[Kitten]

SO.
I read the thread about the 40 most annoying mistakes men make with woman.
I didn't agree with all of them, but they sure were funny to read!
Got me thinking though; What are the most annoying mistakes that are being made in bed in a BDSM context?
I can't think of any myself (aren't I blessed?) but I'd love to hear if you know any ;O

If you know any, you know what to do!
Sharing is caring~

P.S. Funny anekdotes are funny. Post them?

 

[His_Einna]

Not that I've suffered this one personally, but I've seen it, I've experienced it, and it *really* bugs me. That's guys who fancy themselves as Dominants who make the assumption that every woman should want to be submissive to them, or that every female sub should want to be *their* sub. I have a profile on Fetlife which happily proclaims I'm engaged, 95% lesbian, and looking for nothing but friendship and I *still* get PM from 'Dominants' ordering me to send them naughty pictures!

 

[Kitten]

Ha! I know what you mean!
Don't we all get those?
The minute you're open to the internetworld about being a sub there are always men that assume that is the same as being a slut for every guy that passes by.
I always wonder what age they are, I can't imagine a grown man having an image of BDSM that's that distorted.
Offcourse, there are girls who really are like that. I wish there weren't though. Would save us a ton of messages to delete.

 

[Slixious]

The unfortunate thing about the internet is what the ease of sending out information is. Just copy and paste an entire statement, and you could send it to 100 different people of your interests in the hopes to get an answer back from at least a few of them. Who said they even tried to check if you were engaged, or have said something to show no interest in what they are asking for? On the other hand, maybe they don't really care about anybody at all, which would explain why they are so forward right from the beginning, and hoping that some people out there are willing to slut themselves out like that.
I would like to imagine a good relationship of any sort would start off without being entirely blunt. I have never really made a friend with people who instantly say I'm cute, what their hobbies are, and that sort of crap all in one try. However I did get a response back from someone who was pretty forward offering to have a coffee or a strolle. That sort of thing is obviously genuine.

 

[Agent Green]

It seems to me like starting a BDSM relationship before a friendship is a major mistake people tend to make. If you don't first know the person how can you know if it is really a good fit. And good long-term relationship should be based ina friendship. The key to a kinky one is no different.

However I did get a response back from someone who was pretty forward offering to have a coffee or a strolle.

These are the people doing it right.

 

[Merlin]

It seems to me like starting a BDSM relationship before a friendship is a major mistake people tend to make.[...]

I always found it very strange that a lot people seam to think that you should not be friends before a relationship... (no matter what sort of)... and it is really the case that for a lot people as soon as you got friends they avoid any form of relationship, making it often hard to go this way (friendship->relationship)
But I still agree 100% with you ... I have no interest in a actual relationship with someone that is not at the same level as a friend... someone that is not worth to be my friend is also not worth to be in a relationship with me... everyone else is just a waste of time anyway...

 

[Tame]

I guess it depends by what you mean as friendship, I have many levels of friendship those who I tell everything and anything to, those who I will go out with to clubs now and again, people who have the same hobbies and people I just know through business...
I find it odd to build a good friendship before... but I would at least want to know at least the little things first but not to the point of telling them everything and anything as that's hard to find and i would want them as a friend instead at that point so as not to ruin it.

 

[Anjelen]

Ha. 'Dominants' who think they can order submissives around just because of the collar they wear, never gets old -
A friend and sub of mine worked at a fetish store before she went to the USA to study - she wore my collar at all times.
She also made sure to always have a crop at hand for beating those 'dominants' who made a grab for her - this happened, on average, twice a day.

And then she discovered, Thor.
Google - "Zetacreations Thor" - and remember,

"Nothing says 'PWNED' as beeing slapped in the face with a 1:1 gel dildo reproduction of a horses' shlong"

She had it standing on a corner of the counter. The silent warning. Mwahahaha.

 

[jack]

I hate people who, because you are submissive, expect you to submit to them there and then.

I also hate people who think that men should be dominant. . .

how about anybody else?

 

[0siris99]

It seems to me like starting a BDSM relationship before a friendship is a major mistake people tend to make. If you don't first know the person how can you know if it is really a good fit. And good long-term relationship should be based ina friendship. The key to a kinky one is no different.



These are the people doing it right.

I agree with that totally, thats why I always do atleast a week introduction and slowly very slowly work my way into the m/s