My gf of one year cheated on me with coworkers

[Mikenil]

My gf of one year cheated on me with two guys on a trip. I knew back from a friend of mine. When i confronted her she said sry and ask to forgive if i love her. I still love her but scared of her doing again. Anyone had exp like this before? Guy or girl, after event like this would might happen again??

 

[Deleted member 64752]

My gf of one year cheated on me with two guys on a trip. I knew back from a friend of mine. When i confronted her she said sry and ask to forgive if i love her. I still love her but scared of her doing again. Anyone had exp like this before? Guy or girl, after event like this would might happen again??

You have already lost the game. Clinging on to her will only make you weak. Once you "forgive" a cheater they think they have a pass to do it every time. Dump her and add value to your life get a higher paycheck and better body

 

[Mikenil]

Thanks for advice friend. I hope that easy, but i really had crush on her for like 2 years. I m really in love with her. She say wont happen again

 

[Deleted member 64752]

Thanks for advice friend. I hope that easy, but i really had crush on her for like 2 years. I m really in love with her. She say wont happen again

Lol she knows you are so attached to her and she has more options than you do. If your "Love" was mutual she would never had done it in first place. Also you came to know about it from someone else and then confronted her, she didn't tell it to you. If she really felt guilty, she would have told you herself that it was a mistake. And worst case scenario is you only know about this one incident maybe there are more such incidents, who knows. So better dump her and focus on yourself

 

[Mikenil]

Yea i m so attached to her, all my friend here knows that. Thats why i m talking about it here . It hurts so bad to know this from my friend. She says she was drunk and mistake happened

 

[Deleted member 64752]

Yea i m so attached to her, all my friend here knows that. Thats why i m talking about it here . It hurts so bad to know this from my friend. She says she was drunk and mistake happened

I dont use soft feel good language. Told you the harsh truth , your choice. And I have a gut feeling that if you brake up today she will start dating someone else in a few weeks or a month and you will still be thinking about her. Thats how the world works. The feel good talk of "oh forgiveness is next to godliness", "mistakes happen" etc. Dont work

Your call mate, either be in this relationship and worry everytime about such things repeating or increase your own valu and date someone even better

 

[Randy Magnum]

Hey dude, sorry for your situation been there myself before it sucks.

My personal take on this is the best thing you can do is remove her from your life. It's gonna suck but it will make you stronger. If it was me, I'd just tell her it's over, delete her number. Block her on social media and move on. She'll realise she fucked up and it will be the lesson she needs in life.

If she's serious about the 'mistake' she'll try very hard to be in your life at this point. If she doesn't you know that she actually isn't that bothered about the relationship.

Being drunk isn't a mistake and you always have a choice on your actions. At some point she decided she 'wanted' to cheat and your feelings about it weren't enough to stop her. If she's not strong enough to prevent this when drunk, then you're always going to wonder what she's doing when away from you and drinking or meeting others and it's not going to be healthy for you.

Obviously at the end of the day nobody knows your relationship dynamic better than you, so what you do is up to you, hope that helps !

 

[Scrib]

My gf of one year cheated on me with two guys on a trip. I knew back from a friend of mine. When i confronted her she said sry and ask to forgive if i love her. I still love her but scared of her doing again. Anyone had exp like this before? Guy or girl, after event like this would might happen again??

Yep a tough place to be BUT ...

There is no preferred role given for yourself but what if she is actually asking you to be more Dominant with her? I would normally say never play when angry, but it seems to me that she really is asking to have her ass severely paddled, and that's just to start. Punish her and take control of her and the situation.

Use it dont lose it, at least until you have evened the score and worked through your feelings. This might be exactly what you need, she deserves and secretly wants.

Work it to your advantage as you have nothing to lose.

 

[subzzzero]

Yep a tough place to be BUT ...

There is no preferred role given for yourself but what if she is actually asking you to be more Dominant with her? I would normally say never play when angry, but it seems to me that she really is asking to have her ass severely paddled, and that's just to start. Punish her and take control of her and the situation.

Use it dont lose it, at least until you have evened the score and worked through your feelings. This might be exactly what you meed, she deserves and secretly wants. Work it to your advantage as you have nothing to lose.

What???? You’re saying by cheating she’s asking for kinky play? There is nothing in the post that even remotely suggests that.

Without consent you’re telling him to try for impact. You going to pay his lawyer fees when she gets him on physical abuse charges?

Adding kink into a relationship that lacks trust and domming with your emotions is not the answer.
You even mention using her until the score is evened

This is abusive predatory behavior violating all sense of consent and kink.

Please do more research into things. Maybe get yourself a mentor and don’t go handing out advice when you have no clue what you’re taking about.

 

[subzzzero]

My gf of one year cheated on me with two guys on a trip. I knew back from a friend of mine. When i confronted her she said sry and ask to forgive if i love her. I still love her but scared of her doing again. Anyone had exp like this before? Guy or girl, after event like this would might happen again??

I concur with the above advice from members suggesting you cut all ties and move on. It’s happened once that you’ve caught. Maybe more prior to this. Will def be more after. Drunk is no excuse. You can do better. Move on and find what you deserve.

 

[Scrib]

What???? You’re saying by cheating she’s asking for kinky play? There is nothing in the post that even remotely suggests that.

Without consent you’re telling him to try for impact. You going to pay his lawyer fees when she gets him on physical abuse charges?

Adding kink into a relationship that lacks trust and domming with your emotions is not the answer.
You even mention using her until the score is evened

This is abusive predatory behavior violating all sense of consent and kink.

Please do more research into things. Maybe get yourself a mentor and don’t go handing out advice when you have no clue what you’re taking about.

This is a Kink forum, and that kinda follows.

You offering to mentor me? How sweet.

How about you get yourself some Psychology and understand something of the female Psyche?

 

[subzzzero]

This is a Kink forum, and that kinda follows.

You offering to mentor me? How sweet.

How about you get yourself some Psychology and understand something of the female Psyche?

Get myself some psychology? Yes…. that makes total sense

Make whatever excuses you need to justify your poor actions here. It won’t affect me one bit.

 

[bizo90]

This is a Kink forum, and that kinda follows.

You offering to mentor me? How sweet.

How about you get yourself some Psychology and understand something of the female Psyche?

judging by your replies I feel like you know nothing about the female psyche

 

[Not in use]

Sorry to read your post. But if it counts for anything, I'm old and seen a lot of things in life.

Cut and run. Do it quick and be decisive. Don't look back.

Good luck.

 

[Mikenil]

Hey dude, sorry for your situation been there myself before it sucks.

My personal take on this is the best thing you can do is remove her from your life. It's gonna suck but it will make you stronger. If it was me, I'd just tell her it's over, delete her number. Block her on social media and move on. She'll realise she fucked up and it will be the lesson she needs in life.

If she's serious about the 'mistake' she'll try very hard to be in your life at this point. If she doesn't you know that she actually isn't that bothered about the relationship.

Being drunk isn't a mistake and you always have a choice on your actions. At some point she decided she 'wanted' to cheat and your feelings about it weren't enough to stop her. If she's not strong enough to prevent this when drunk, then you're always going to wonder what she's doing when away from you and drinking or meeting others and it's not going to be healthy for you.

Obviously at the end of the day nobody knows your relationship dynamic better than you, so what you do is up to you, hope that helps !

She keeps sayin if i love her forgive her. Yes drunk is not excuse.
But at the moment i really still love her. So i confused and cant move on yet

 

[Mikenil]

Sorry to read your post. But if it counts for anything, I'm old and seen a lot of things in life.

Cut and run. Do it quick and be decisive. Don't look back.

Good luck.

Wish that easy friend. But thx for advice

 

[Not in use]

Wish that easy friend. But thx for advice

I will say one last thing. Ask yourself, is it better to rip off a band aid quickly or one hair at a time? Both results in it being removed. Again sorry.

 

[Randy Magnum]

She keeps sayin if i love her forgive her. Yes drunk is not excuse.
But at the moment i really still love her. So i confused and cant move on yet

I'd counter that with, if she 'loved' you she wouldn't have cheated in the first place.

To cheat on someone (without having an open relationship) you usually are:
- Unhappy in your relationship
- Sexually curious about with being with others / want to try new things.

If you're not going to get rid of her. You need to have a brutally honest chat with your girlfriend.

This may seem harsh but you need to find out why she cheated and how she felt about it to understand the future of your relationship.

Is she unhappy in your relationship?

Is she feeling like she's missing out on not being with others ? Did she enjoy being with someone else ? Is it out of her system ? Do you believe it's out of her system if she says it is?

Is she wanting something she's not getting from you ? If she says yes, are you prepared to deal with the situation she's not getting?

Without finding out exactly why she chose to cheat (because she had a choice and wanted to) you're masking the issue and are setting yourself for a harder time in the future.

Ask the hard questions, get brutally honest answers from her.

If you don't do this, you're going to be happy she's still your girlfriend and remains your girlfriend..........................
Until she does it again because you didn't identify the problem of "what caused her to WANT to sleep with someone else?"

There are people out there who like to be in a relationship for 'comfort' until they find someone else they want to be with. Rather than just tell the person they aren't happy they have one-night stands and secret meetups as its easier to have the comfort of the relationship behind their actions for security.

If you don't sort out your problems....Worst Case scenario, you may find she suddenly walks away from you because she's now in a relationship with someone else.

Out of the choices of getting rid of her vs watching her go to someone else and suddenly stop talking to you / messaging you. Telling you to stop contacting her as she's not in a relationship with you anymore. It's a no brainer in which one will hurt less in the long run.

You've currently got an opportunity to find out what you need to know and act on your own terms right now.

Don't waste this opportunity and never be afraid to have some time by yourself to think things through.

Time apart will make you realise you 'can' live without her. Your life will continue, yes it may hurt and be hard but it will continue regardless and you will get through it. There will always be someone else out there too. When you're young it's hard to imagine there is, but there is. FYI - You're on a site for Kink, so there's also a lot of opportunity for a lot of awesome experiences out there with people too !

You may find when suggesting a break, she jumps in bed with someone else. If that happens you dodged a bullet by not taking her back anyway !

If you're so 'besotted' with her you can't imagine a life without her because your life *is* her, thats a problem in itself you need to address that.

Hope you take this information and think it through. Good luck !!

 

[Mikenil]

I'd counter that with, if she 'loved' you she wouldn't have cheated in the first place.

To cheat on someone (without having an open relationship) you usually are:
- Unhappy in your relationship
- Sexually curious about with being with others / want to try new things.

If you're not going to get rid of her. You need to have a brutally honest chat with your girlfriend.

This may seem harsh but you need to find out why she cheated and how she felt about it to understand the future of your relationship.

Is she unhappy in your relationship?

Is she feeling like she's missing out on not being with others ? Did she enjoy being with someone else ? Is it out of her system ? Do you believe it's out of her system if she says it is?

Is she wanting something she's not getting from you ? If she says yes, are you prepared to deal with the situation she's not getting?

Without finding out exactly why she chose to cheat (because she had a choice and wanted to) you're masking the issue and are setting yourself for a harder time in the future.

Ask the hard questions, get brutally honest answers from her.

If you don't do this, you're going to be happy she's still your girlfriend and remains your girlfriend..........................
Until she does it again because you didn't identify the problem of "what caused her to WANT to sleep with someone else?"

There are people out there who like to be in a relationship for 'comfort' until they find someone else they want to be with. Rather than just tell the person they aren't happy they have one-night stands and secret meetups as its easier to have the comfort of the relationship behind their actions for security.

If you don't sort out your problems....Worst Case scenario, you may find she suddenly walks away from you because she's now in a relationship with someone else.

Out of the choices of getting rid of her vs watching her go to someone else and suddenly stop talking to you / messaging you. Telling you to stop contacting her as she's not in a relationship with you anymore. It's a no brainer in which one will hurt less in the long run.

You've currently got an opportunity to find out what you need to know and act on your own terms right now.

Don't waste this opportunity and never be afraid to have some time by yourself to think things through.

Time apart will make you realise you 'can' live without her. Your life will continue, yes it may hurt and be hard but it will continue regardless and you will get through it. There will always be someone else out there too. When you're young it's hard to imagine there is, but there is. FYI - You're on a site for Kink, so there's also a lot of opportunity for a lot of awesome experiences out there with people too !

You may find when suggesting a break, she jumps in bed with someone else. If that happens you dodged a bullet by not taking her back anyway !

If you're so 'besotted' with her you can't imagine a life without her because your life *is* her, thats a problem in itself you need to address that.

Hope you take this information and think it through. Good luck !!

Thx for detailed advice, about me finding out about that. I first found out at her phone chatting at sgchat. Then i asked her friend. I ll try to do like ur advice and i ll get back to u. BTW do u have email or what social messenger u use. I m from singapore and cannot log in this site. Need to use vpn.