need advice

[vanilla_girl]

i am an awakened vanilla and i need some advice about my dominant. im new to all this and dont have anyone to talk to though los angeles is so big. i have done research on what it means to be a sub and what it means to be a dom. the submisive submits because the submissive knows her/his dom will take care of them and that the sub needs her dom just like her dom needs his sub. though circumsances are unique to the relationship between me and my current dom... i feel like instead of my dom taking care of me... im taking care of him... is this a normal feeling when a sub first starts in this adventure or is it just me??

 

[CuriouslyInterested]

It's a symbiotic relationship. You should take care of each other. A sub needs a dom, a dom needs a sub, they both need to be committed to taking care of the physical AND emotional needs of the other party. I've seen a meme before...when a dom and sub connect he becomes her strength and she becomes his weakness. Things will also vary a bit within the individual relationships. Some are more service oriented than others. Dd/lg will also have some variance in the dynamic.

The most important part of any relationship is both parties are happy and fulfilled. As long as you are both happy and safe don't worry about the things you've seen said regarding how relationships are set up.

 

[shadowice0823]

Usually when its starting out things are a little awkward as everyone tries to feel each other out. Then from there the relationship starts to take off. What do you mean by taking care of him do you mean might help to give specific examples. If its things like cooking and cleaning that could be normal as some doms have the subs do that sort of task to make their lives easier.

 

[SubMissChievous]

i have done research on what it means to be a sub and what it means to be a dom.

No matter how much research you make the thing is that how others navigate their relationships has no bearing on yours. What is important is what it means to be a sub to you. Same for dominants. Subs and doms are individuals and relationships are unique. People have different needs, wants, expectations and whatnot.

the submisive submits because the submissive knows her/his dom will take care of them and that the sub needs her dom just like her dom needs his sub.

Some do, some don't. That is far from being universal. For ex., I don't submit to be taken care of or because of it. Not that it isn't a valid reason, just that it is not like that for everyone. If that's what you want or need then there's nothing wrong with it. However what can be wrong is assuming or expecting that it will be like that because you read it on the interwebs.

i feel like instead of my dom taking care of me... im taking care of him... is this a normal feeling when a sub first starts in this adventure or is it just me??

Normal is a setting on a washing machine. Either way can be "normal" if that's what both have discussed and agreed on. What have you discussed and agreed to with your dom?