Physical Pain

[LadyGrace321]

I'm trying to understand Pain. Dolling out Pain can be pleasurable. Receiving pain can be pleasurable too. What I'd like to discuss in this thread is when things get messy.
3- Duration, tolerance, & severity
2- Checking in & when a safe word is spoken.
1- After Care

 

[Gengis]

Pain huh?, well... ive tested everything on my self, and i tested my limits over the years, but i got used to needles, some medical stuff (to be discussed somewhere else ) and pain when i was really young, 15 years. That is a hole long story by it self, i bet u whould love to know... *caugh caugh*

As u may imagine, there are infinite ways to inflict pain and each one has its own set of the pints u wanted to know.

As for the After care, since u bolded it and place it number one but its the las of the list... i dont know why... its breaking my brain xDDDDDDDDDD


It is mandatory, even on the online games where u cant do much. U are the one in charge of that person who entrusted her body to you and not for caress...
U have to be sure and prepared for what comes bad, and never stop thinking on what may go wrong or one day ull be surprissed. And no1 likes surpises when comes to this.

U have to start before the game its over, i mean, there is thing called sub frenzy that will make your sub to ask for mor and harder. Learn when it is hapening and dont let yourself carry. Its the Adrenaline rush talking for her
Also carefull with the dom rush or frenzy, what ever you call it, its the same but in the dom side.

Warm, conforting words, touching in lovely way, hugging and make your partner feel like a person again, and help with his mental taht whoud have been hurt too. Making sure shes ok, by asking, by checking with eyes and hands (clean) the affected zones (this have to be done by her if you playing online, be sure u let her know she needs to check her self)

If u are doing it live with someone, u have to be sure everyhing for the after care is packed: bandages, ointments for bruises, hydratation creams, desinfectants, not cotton!! it sticks everywhere, dont be cheap and buy gauze
Every open wound or scrach on the skin needs to be deinfected and cleaned, its better let them air dry if possible.

I think i dont miss anything, or probably i do, please enlight me

 

[LadyGrace321]

Well, @Gengis , Its actually a play on my name, how i operate... (in 3...2...1...) the after care is bold #1 because it's the most important and yet the last thing you do. I try very hard to chose my words wisely bc I want to convey multiple insinuating things in as few of words as possible. Its not always the case though. In a private chat, I made a fool of myself bc I was frustrated and tired. Now, onto the topic at hand. I myself do not like pain. I will ask to get the shit beat out of me when I'm dealing with emotional crap but do not wish to get even a paper cut. If I'm to attempt to perform my secret fantasy's some day, I'd like to hear/learn/see/ -shiver- experience pain in many many MANY ways. That way I know without doubt, that I will not cause medical issues. I believe that a dom should experience everything he/she wants to do to his or her sub. Shrug.

 

[Gengis]

Huh, u remind me of some1 i know @LadyGrace321 , as for the words thing. Now that i know your game ill look into what you dont say xD I whould love to give you my perspective, but ineed more specific questions... People write books about each of the 3 topics, so... its something i cant do.
What i can do its try to pull ur tongue, if u were to do your secret fantasies what will you do? Painfull i mean, to an unexperienced and an experienced parter. I can give you my point of view

 

[LadyGrace321]

This will be a long message and to.. set things up for the proper understanding of what I'm going to write - privately- i ask that you set up the proper materials, at your convenience, with leasure. If your not in the right head space, it won't work.

 

[Gengis]

So you will adapt to your patner desires? tahts not what i asked for. Lets put me in the example, its exciting, alt least to me xD. Im a poor guy, laying on your bed, whose most painfull event was.. a brokentooth when he was younger, but oh lord he worship you to the point to unkowingly sacrifice him self to you. I dont even know what limits u talked about earlier, but we talked about somethingi believe... What will you do to? where will you focus or where will you die to inflict pain on.

 

[LadyGrace321]

I like edging with girls. I'd want to use my leather strap (2inches wide, about 14 inches long) to slap her clit. I want pain and pleasure to be hand in hand. In my head *bc I lack experience * swelling and stinging should enhance the experience.
With men, I adore pegging. I will lose control with pegging - I get the shakes, ragged breathing, and that's very bad. Soooo i don't get to do it. I Want to do knife play sooo bad. Its more mental than physical. I want to leave a mark without breaking skin. It's a way of claiming, of a reminder of the pleasure. My world would revolve around a man who would allow me to play his body in pleasure and pain in the bed room, yet let me step back and be a lady outside the bed room.

 

[Gengis]

Swealling and stinging does enhance experience
Wooooo hohoo knife playing and pegging. Do you know what leaves a mark and hurts almost like a knife? your theet or nails and u can push harder thant with the knife

 

[LadyGrace321]

But the knife plays such a big roll in the play

 

[Gengis]

yes i know, i had a knife like you described... *gosebumps*. you girls.... i wonder how many of you carve that?

 

[LadyGrace321]

Imagine a dominant female, who has you strapped to a y shaped pole. Circling around you holding a knife to your skin lovingly, gently gliding the tip across wonderful meaty thys, hard across the the back in an upward stroke. Fingertips of other hand soothing the sting for only a moment. That knife being held to your throat. Temping yet denying kisses. Balls being weighted down. Running the smooth blade over a lovely cock. Maybe nicking a nipple and marking myself with your blood. Humm I might be into blood play.

 

[Gengis]

That is sexy, so few times im speechless. also had missed more keystrokes that id like to admit xD

 

[subzzzero]

I'm trying to understand Pain. Dolling out Pain can be pleasurable. Receiving pain can be pleasurable too. What I'd like to discuss in this thread is when things get messy.
3- Duration, tolerance, & severity
2- Checking in & when a safe word is spoken.
1- After Care

3. Duration, tolerance, severity. All subjective and will vary between partners. What is too much for one might be not enough for another.
For example I had a sub who enjoyed flogger. A light wide tassel light weight flogger. She made a cheap purchase to test before buying quality wanted to see if she liked it. After experimenting she can only take a light flogging. Red lines on back and shoulders. Nothing marking wise lasting past an hour or two once done. Basically hold up arm let it deadfall and that’s what level she prefers. This gives a stinging sensation and the sensory feeling of it makes her float as she explains it.
Same for hand spanking ass she wants sting but not excessive brutal. No crop cane or paddle. Unless again used to where no marks are left. She is not into extreme pain but does enjoy it on the levels described. Clamps wise she wants pressure and a tiny bit more but she’s not seeking extreme pain.

Other sub total opposite. Used clover clamps, did zippers on body. Used paddles, spiked paddles, steel bar, canes, dowels, crops, pretty much anything. Including knife carving and needle poking. She wants the blood the pain the black bruises for months.

Both subs however reach the same level of endorphin rush. Subspace. Escape. Floaty feeling.

Duration of use. How often we do it seems to help build tolerance for most but not all. In my past Exp I have seen it both ways. Some want more and more. Tolerance also means as one gets used to it you need to find more ways to make it work and to an extent you can’t go past certain levels with impact for example. I can’t break bones. What I do find helps is tempo or rhythm. If I go slow steady hits to an ass it’s more tolerable than if I go fast repetitive hits ( thing drum solo). Even switching up going fast slow fast slow medium. Hesitate then hit with no warning. It’s all about tricking the mind.

2. Checking in. And safeword.

Safeword i prefer the traffic light system . So I know yellow warns me I’m gettin close and I can either maintain or pull back some but not to increase any further. It’s a simple one word cue for me to know where things are at. Red is a full stop. Initiate aftercare immediately and check in to see what has happened and what needs to be done both in the moment and for future going forward. Checking in. I ask when it’s a new dynamic or a bottom at a dungeon. A few hits then ask. And so on. When I know someone better I’ll be able to read all their body language and non verbal cues to know where things are at.

On the checking in part. It is beneficial to test out new implements each time outside of a session. Just to get the raw feel for it. So I’ll start off with a hit way too light and slowly progress up in strength til we find where the sub is almost at her limit so we know going forward when to look for.

1. Aftercare. Have the plan in place prior to starting play. Both an emotional support type care as well as physical how do you care for the areas that pain was applied to. Drinks, snacks, cuddling, talking, relaxing with a movie for emotional.
Cold wet cloth/towel, medicine , topicals, cleaning of blood, etc for physical.

 

[Gengis]

Nice reading while breakfast:
A month lasting black bruises... i'd probably never go that far, specially as a dom. the marks i inflicted on me or others lasted 3 to 10 days
Why nobody likes needles?
Talking about that... i started piercing a small portion of skin instead of a nice chunk, and wonder what? tahts pretty un safe. One word: Laceration. In order to prevent an unwanted laceration, the piercing must have flesh .

And... the best tip for those qho are interested in starting with needles but never do ir cause... needles!!! xD
Use acupuncture needles, i have 0,25x75 mm, they dont hurt at all, are easy to puncture since they are really thin, and material is strong enough so it wont break or bend easy.
Use gloves (in the case of acupuncture needles also for the grip it gives you, they are so slippery and force you to use more strength than needed), clean and disinfect the are just when you are about to start

 

[An inactive user]

I must say I'm still curious about needles. Have done some light stuff but with the right person I might go all in.

 

[Gengis]

Ah, totally forgot. If u do use the needles on yourself... you may feel the adrenaline rush before even starting, ull get shaky hands AND, this is important, it will hurt more, due to that weird thing our brain has the tendency of doing: Self protection. If u tried things on yourself, ull notice u are not able to hit as hard as u will hit to others. it is because our brain inflicts fear, high levels of fear, in order to avoid injury


Get a grip of yourself, its just a pinch!!!!

 

[An inactive user]

I've done it through the frenulum a few times

 

[Gengis]

Its a good place to start, doing it on regular skin is not my deal: be carefull if u keep exploring, other areas, nipples hurt like crazy and glans and clit (not that much) bleed like crazy and i really mean it, i didnt knew it, my first time and we got shocked.

 

[Devildom1994]

Hello there. Quite specific questions about a very broad term there. So I'm gonna dig deep and start from the basics rather than going specifically to your questions.

First things first, there are different types of pain and the answer to your questions can vary greatly based on this. I can quote some examples for you to understand better. Taking impact play only, has thuddy and stingy pain. Stingy pain is an acute sharp pain which can be caused from an impact. Eg: from a cane, single tail whips or floggers. Then there is thuddy pain which can cover a bigger surface area but go deep into your tissues. This can further classified into surface area pain like a bare hand spanking and deep tissue pain like punching and kicking.
Apart from impact play, there is sustained pain, which as the name states is sustained over a time or gets worse as your endurance gets low. Bondage and suspensions are good examples of this. Electric pain is also a very common type of pain play. Toys like tens units and violet wands are some of the very commonly used toys in electric play. Another very common kinds of pain are from clamps, from chemicals like toothpaste, lemon juice, ben gay/vicks/tiger balm, hot sauce etc.

Now, coming to your questions, the duration, tolerance and intensity depend on the play, person and scenario. I wouldn't suggest to have a hard and fast concept over this. Rather advise you to have a flexible and adaptive approach. Always learn your sub. See and read body language. Make sure they're in the right emotional state. There are some safety tips in each types of plays which you have to know and the rest is all about the person, play and scene. I know it's a very vague thing. But that is the case 90% of the time. Like the people above stated, there'll be people who can endure high levels of certain types of pain but not so much of the other.

Checking in. This is a very very important part. During a scene, it is very important that you check in on the sub and make sure they're okay. Even if you know them for a 100 years. On that day, maybe something could be off about the way they're feeling. There will be days when pain from the same source can feel more compared to other days. That is how our brains and minds are. So keep in mind how often you have to check in and when you have to. Make sure you that check in on them enough and also make sure you don't do it too often to loose the intensity of the scene.

Coming to aftercare, make sure you have a clear discussion about this with your sub. Because aftercare needs differ from people to people. However, you have to have with you the basic stuffs to take care of the bruises or marks or any aftereffects of the session. Also, make sure you know the aftercare needs of your partner and they know your aftercare needs as well. Aftercare, like all the other things I mentioned, is different to different people. But you can have basic things ready beforehand itself.

Have fun.




Devil

 

[LadyGrace321]

Yes @Devildom1994 , the way you described pain is one of the things I was looking for. [I'm not active as of yet, still learning and evaluating] I think I need to have a deep discussion with a few experienced subs to dive deeper into how to discuss this, now that I have a bit of a better understanding.