If you plan it (pour water on your clothed lap then ask strangers where the nearest bathroom was), it isn't humiliating because you know what their reactions will be. To be properly humiliated, a stranger's reaction must be spontaneous and without your knowledge. The humiliation is realizing that you're on display in an inferior aspect (a man screaming wildly in reaction to something which truly frightens him, an adult male performing a childish act, etc.).
Try this and see what happens:
Go to an Indian or Chinese restaurant. They normally have a spicy dish on the menu but if you ask for the hottest spice or peppers they have (because you like super spicy foods), you may get what you ask for. The goal here is to down as much of the spicy stuff as you can without any drink so that your sinuses are in "overdrive". If you also pour several containers of pepper on your food before eating it, you could be put in an uncontrollable sneezing fit. Your resulting public display would certainly be humiliating, maybe multiplied if you consume a gallon of water 1 hour prior to arriving at the restaurant. Most likely your bladder will release uncontrollably which would add to your public disgrace.
Since this incident would be unfortunate for yourself, it wouldn't be deemed criminal.