Safe word

sevenofnine

Kinky Newbie
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Nov 5, 2023
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naw its ok its just the way my mind works. people have said i think to much or im a very thoughtful person.
its just i don't like mistakes. i want to get this right,
and seeing i have none to very little actual experience im more or less totally vanilla i would like to hear what practicing subs and doms think, its all cool believe me.

since it is a work of fiction, in the end it doesn't matter, does it that
brings up another question
how accurate does it need to be,
my first scene between the two of them is figging, yes they have fucked but this is there real first sub dom interaction where he has some ginger and shoves it up her butt.

i have researched it and know you should be aware of allergies etc,
the question is do you think a work of fiction should go through all the necessary, safety and precautions when doing a scene or just go ahead and shove a piece of ginger up her ass.
with out shaping the ginger into an actual plug etc etc etc.

its like the no safe word, its more for a dramatic effect then anything, it fits the story im trying to tell.
its not really about the sex the kink, its about the relationship of the two people in the end, in the end
that is the story the love and trust they have, the kink is secondary.
 

subtlizer

Distinguished Member
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Aug 23, 2020
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Just a question to all Doms I am a collard slave and im just wondering is it strange if you are not allowed a safe word even if your relationship is on line im just asking for my self
To be direct, as much as red flag I am, and love to force people into doing things, unless you have sold your self as a slave for money or blackmail or something, you have all rights to have safe word and right to back off if things are going against your limits.

Being honest for most red flag some, there is an extensive desire to own and control everything, without caring much for slave approval. That's what makes them good dom if you are willing to give your rights as human being.

So inshort, being a slave is what you choose to be, not born to be.
 

RedSector

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Jun 29, 2022
22
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Victoria Australia
Just a question to all Doms I am a collard slave and im just wondering is it strange if you are not allowed a safe word even if your relationship is on line im just asking for my self

A safeword only works if you haven't taken that away from them with a gag, so other signals may also be required or appropriate. These are safety measures that should be applied in all circumstances. They are usually between two or more people who often share opposite but powerful positions with each other.

Generally, these are part of D/s relationship. You don't start at 110% and then scale down, you start at the stated level of the person you are with or just to see what they can take, then you scale up.

Moreover, speaking from experience of being in D/s relationships,

As a dominate;
I might be flogging a submissive and hit their limit, that matters to me.
I might be using bondage, and it becomes uncomfortable or unbearable, that matters to me.
The submissive may be 'in the moment', they might be screaming, maybe they are calling you names or daring you to inflict more pain on them, alternatively crying begging you to stop and telling you it hurts.
or gaged and not able to make a lot of noises.


You have to know what, they actually mean. A safeword and I recommend a signal established, lets you know it's still game on in what you are playing together, or it's time to find out what a problem is.

I believe in the use of safeword, it confirms continuous consent during whatever you are doing and with whoever you are doing it with, regardless of what it is. They should be universal in nature, for everyone involved. Everyone should have the right to control the situation in which they find themselves, even in the vanilla world. But I shudder at the idea of not having this in BDSM/Kinks world.

On another point, I've been in D/s relationship for 13 years, and sometimes you're overwhelmed in the normal world. And in these times we have missed this in our significant other 'the signals', and I know of times when both of us have used the safeword/signal, to let other know, we need help or not okay. Isn't it nice to be able to do this in a crowded room or say in a normal argument when overwhelmed, without judgement because your significant other knows the meaning.

Hope you find this useful.
 
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