Self punishment and training for 18yo female

cvbrat

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Mar 22, 2023
4
2
3
20
Hi all - I am a single 18 year old female who is a self identified brat. I was in a 2 year relationship with my last 'dom' who was rather manipulative and toxic (yes I'm aware that involving kink in a relationship before 18 was not a good idea and opened me up to a lot of hurt - live and learn) and this has changed my limits somewhat significantly. Nevertheless, I do feel rather lost and untethered without any dominant presence in my life which is particularly pronounced as I am travelling alone for a number of months this year.

I am trying to set myself up with a number of rules, and corresponding punishments and rewards to try and give myself some structure and potentially some training to go into my next relationship with some more skills. I'm struggling to come up with these due to my inexperience though and I have found the internet to be rather unhelpful. I have included my likes and dislikes and limits below, and would be very grateful for any suggestions on rules, punishments or rewards.

Likes:
  • humiliation
  • degradation
  • long term chastity
  • bathroom control
  • age play/regression
  • temperature play
  • breath play
  • some control over food (e.g. I hate oatmeal... so needing to eat plain oatmeal for 1-2 meals a day type of thing)
  • position training
Dislikes:
  • chemical play
  • breast/nipple torture
  • hypnotherapy
  • piss play
  • blood play
Equipment:
  • butt plugs (3 sizes. quite comfortable with the small and medium ones)
  • household items
  • can buy candle if needed
Limits:
  • race play
  • needles
  • permanent harm
  • scat
  • anything that would put me on the sex offender registry if I was caught
  • fingering self
  • drugs and alcohol
  • sex
  • body shaming
  • photographs and videos (sharing them specifically)
*note that the only way I have actually ever been able to orgasm is through humping something. never through fingering or playing with my clit*
Living Situation:
  • fluctuating between shared room in a youth hostel, private airbnb/hotel room and housesitting. Will be alone in the house for the next few weeks though.
Things I love in theory but have never tried:
  • impact play
  • public/semi-public
  • knife play

Thank you in advance for any suggestions!
 

lurker54321

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Oct 19, 2017
51
34
18
Spank your ass, 50 times on each cheek. Do this 5 times in a day and you cannot cum that day until after finishing them all. A nice simple task.
I get if you dont cum from fingering yourself, but its off limits? Dont think I have seen that as a limit before.
 

cvbrat

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Mar 22, 2023
4
2
3
20
Spank your ass, 50 times on each cheek. Do this 5 times in a day and you cannot cum that day until after finishing them all. A nice simple task.
I get if you dont cum from fingering yourself, but its off limits? Dont think I have seen that as a limit before.
Sorry its more of a note. Should I change the formatting?
 

Bobby stan

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Switch
Mar 3, 2023
18
8
3
Hi all - I am a single 18 year old female who is a self identified brat. I was in a 2 year relationship with my last 'dom' who was rather manipulative and toxic (yes I'm aware that involving kink in a relationship before 18 was not a good idea and opened me up to a lot of hurt - live and learn) and this has changed my limits somewhat significantly. Nevertheless, I do feel rather lost and untethered without any dominant presence in my life which is particularly pronounced as I am travelling alone for a number of months this year.

I am trying to set myself up with a number of rules, and corresponding punishments and rewards to try and give myself some structure and potentially some training to go into my next relationship with some more skills. I'm struggling to come up with these due to my inexperience though and I have found the internet to be rather unhelpful. I have included my likes and dislikes and limits below, and would be very grateful for any suggestions on rules, punishments or rewards.

Likes:
  • humiliation
  • degradation
  • long term chastity
  • bathroom control
  • age play/regression
  • temperature play
  • breath play
  • some control over food (e.g. I hate oatmeal... so needing to eat plain oatmeal for 1-2 meals a day type of thing)
  • position training
Dislikes:
  • chemical play
  • breast/nipple torture
  • hypnotherapy
  • piss play
  • blood play
Equipment:
  • butt plugs (3 sizes. quite comfortable with the small and medium ones)
  • household items
  • can buy candle if needed
Limits:
  • race play
  • needles
  • permanent harm
  • scat
  • anything that would put me on the sex offender registry if I was caught
  • fingering self
  • drugs and alcohol
  • sex
  • body shaming
  • photographs and videos (sharing them specifically)
*note that the only way I have actually ever been able to orgasm is through humping something. never through fingering or playing with my clit*
Living Situation:
  • fluctuating between shared room in a youth hostel, private airbnb/hotel room and housesitting. Will be alone in the house for the next few weeks though.
Things I love in theory but have never tried:
  • impact play
  • public/semi-public
  • knife play

Thank you in advance for any suggestions!
Sorry could you go into more detail about chemical play? Because I've never heard of that before
 

cvbrat

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Mar 22, 2023
4
2
3
20
Sorry could you go into more detail about chemical play? Because I've never heard of that before
To my knowledge it involves using substances externally to increase sensitivity. Think lemon juice, massage oils, toothpaste, lotions, chilli peppers etc
 

Merlin

Moderator
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Staff member
Jan 9, 2008
283
168
43
Germany
To my knowledge it involves using substances externally to increase sensitivity. Think lemon juice, massage oils, toothpaste, lotions, chilli peppers etc
i would maybe add to that that things like numbing cream to reduce sensation kind of fall under it too
 

lurker54321

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Oct 19, 2017
51
34
18
Sorry its more of a note. Should I change the formatting?
You could change it to "Fingering to orgasm" or something and keep the note as is. That way tasks to finger yourself can still be given, you just wont be expected to cum.
 

Merlin

Moderator
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Staff member
Jan 9, 2008
283
168
43
Germany
Example rules:
- No orgasms with the exception of Saturday evening allowed, you may have an orgasm on Saturday evening if and only if you followed all rules for the rest of the week
- Your breakfast will be oatmeal every weekday morning, while alone you will eat it from a bowl on the floor with no use of the hands, if in company you can eat it normal
- No bra on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, No panties on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and neither on Saturday and Sundays while at home/in your room
 
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Merlin

Moderator
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Staff member
Jan 9, 2008
283
168
43
Germany
- Every time you need to pee and are on your own chose a side and flip a coin, if you chose right you may go , if you were wrong wait 10 minutes before trying again.
- Every morning get in a kneeling position on the floor, hands behind your back and stay there for 3 minutes while thinking about how you are a sub and should learn to wait for you Dom if needed
 
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