Submissive isn't a word to use lightly

[andrei]

I am learning about others.

 

[DomDaddyxxx]

I never “decided" to be submissive. I “am" submissive. It's not a choice for me. It's part of my identity and has been since I was a lot younger.
Its easy for anyone to say "I'm a submissive" but then they run a mile when things get heavy. People in the "vanilla" world don't understand it from in our perspectives they've seen the ridiculous movies like fifty shades and think I can do that its easy.

I imagine that anyone outside of the BDSM lifestyle, especially those who don’t practice Dominance and submission look at those of us on the inside as strange creatures from another planet
Actually, I’d say they look at submissives that way. Dominants make more sense, don’t they? Dominants are in control and have all the power. They get what they want, when they want it.
What does a submissive get out of any of it, other than kinky sex*?

People on the outside looking in on any dynamic, relationship, lifestyle, or situation only see what’s on the surface. In this case, a strong Dominant standing over a kneeling, naked submissive. He’s in charge. He’s powerful, and she’s weak.
I guess that’s what it would look like from the outside. But, as with most things, that view doesn’t consider the thoughts, emotions, feelings, conversations, negotiations, and inner voices that guide all of us.

A submissive is given a command by their Dominant. What does it mean? What is it for? Is a Dom just a power-hungry bully and is a submissive weak-willed and simpering with no thoughts of their own? Every command should have a purpose – from kinky fun to something deeper. A submissive’s willingness to comply can come from multiple places.
“Spread your legs. Don’t move.”
That moment could be a spanking or a bit of kinky fun. The submissive wants the release of endorphins and the pain. The Dominant wants to exert ultimate control and make physical, mental, and emotional contact with their partner. At the same time, maintaining a position keeps them both safe from accidental harm. One wrong angle, and real damage can be done when partners play rough. It’s a power play, a means to a kinky end, and a safety measure.

Look at it from a different perspective, though. That moment could be a test of wills. A Dominant places their submissive into a position and expects them to maintain it until they release them. Let’s be real, if they weren’t willing, they could walk away at any moment. The reasons a submissive maintains that position vary: they’re turned on by pleasing their Dominant; they’re stubborn and refuse to falter before their Dom gives the word; they know that compliance will yield a greater prize later. Who knows what a particular sub’s reasons might be, but none of them are based on weakness. Their own integrity keeps them in place, regardless of any other reason.

Submission isn’t a two-dimensional act done by an unthinking robot or a weak-willed person who requires guidance to get through their day and life. No, submission requires thought, consent, and integrity, as well as the understanding that there’s a reason for everything that happens.

D/s is both simple and complex. Simply put, it’s a power exchange between two willing partners. The Dominant makes the rules, sets the course, and takes on the responsibility of the care of another human being. Submissives follow the rules, serve their Dominant, and should provide constant feedback in the form of continued consent, safe words, and sharing their thoughts and feelings about the experiences they’re having. Each has their part to play, and both have their own kind of power. There is no D/s without both partners willingly engaging – they’re equal but different.

That perspective could not be Explained by -Not a Single ONE - of my SUBS ,...ANY better than YOU,...A TRUE Submissive that understands the ABSOLUTE dynamic of a REAL DOM / SUB Relationship! Incredible intelligence and understanding your Role as a TOTAL PKG SUB that Checks ALL the Boxes!!! "I would be Honored to be Your MASTER!!! " SIR, Michael.
South Shore ( Massachusetts).

 

[DomDaddyxxx]

That perspective could not be Explained by -Not a Single ONE - of my SUBS ,...ANY better than YOU,...A TRUE Submissive that understands the ABSOLUTE dynamic of a REAL DOM / SUB Relationship! Incredible intelligence and understanding your Role as a TOTAL PKG SUB that Checks ALL the Boxes!!! "I would be Honored to be Your MASTER!!! " SIR, Michael.
South Shore ( Massachusetts).

If you would Like to be considered,...generally it requires a fairly long series of events and consideration,...However,... In your case the decision has been Made, you've been chosen Bitch!!!

 

[DomDaddyxxx]

If you would Like to be considered,...generally it requires a fairly long series of events and consideration,...However,... In your case the decision has been Made, you've been chosen Bitch!!!

I would really like to Know if you WILL consider agreeing and signing our Contract / and Rules??? I will have them available fortwith your decision ?
Your New "SIR"!!!

 

[subzzzero]

If you would Like to be considered,...generally it requires a fairly long series of events and consideration,...However,... In your case the decision has been Made, you've been chosen Bitch!!!

First off not sure why you replied to your own post. Second you act as if you’re doing this person a favor by “making the decision for them” and bypassing a consideration period. Then you refer to her as bitch. When she never mentioned being into degrading play. You’ve not earned the title of sir nor did you earn the right to refer to her as you have here. Bitch used in this context just comes off as disrespectful. Read her whole post fully. She makes it clear her submission is to be earned. Just because she is a sub doesn’t mean she is anyone/everyone’s sub.
Also a word of advice since you’re new here. Anyone can see all your prior posts in your profile so they can all see the other posts you’ve made “choosing” other people here under similar words.

 

[Fiery Bird]

I have to agree with subzzzero here. The guy sounds like a nut job.

 

[submissivegal87]

First off not sure why you replied to your own post. Second you act as if you’re doing this person a favor by “making the decision for them” and bypassing a consideration period. Then you refer to her as bitch. When she never mentioned being into degrading play. You’ve not earned the title of sir nor did you earn the right to refer to her as you have here. Bitch used in this context just comes off as disrespectful. Read her whole post fully. She makes it clear her submission is to be earned. Just because she is a sub doesn’t mean she is anyone/everyone’s sub.
Also a word of advice since you’re new here. Anyone can see all your prior posts in your profile so they can all see the other posts you’ve made “choosing” other people here under similar words.

Thankyou so much for your support and saying what you did it warrants me not having to reply as you hit the nail on the head. Mine would have been a bit nastier to be fair lol..... Not to mention If he paid attention to my post or even read my profile he would see that I am happily owned and that it is my opinion of being a submissive not saying hey all you Doms out there come and get me haha. Once again thankyou!!!

 

[submissivegal87]

But did Anastasia really understand the concept of what being a submissive is really about in the first book? All she knew was what Christian told her and infatuation and naivety blinded her completely to try to at least check out a few of the things he told her about online. The guy was fucked up as a so called Dominant, a lot of things he did were a no no especially to someone who had never even heard of things he was talking about. He himself had no concept about what being a Dominant is really all about. How can he possibly then impart anything positive to the poor girl who just wanted to be loved in return?

And I agree with everything you said submissivegal87 about submission. I personally deeply believe it comes from a place of deep strength. It gives me so much joy when a submissive gives himself to me fully and completely, trusting me to care of him. Now THAT takes a lot of strength and it’s something I treasure and never take for granted.

Great post by the way.

Of course she didn't understand it. She was still new to everything to do with sex never mind being a submissive. He was definitely fucked up haha and couldn't call himself a Dominant but hey its only a story written by someone that has no understanding of the S/D dynamic, so we cant really expect it to be correct in anything.
I just find it funny the people that have read the books or watched the movies then go I can do that no problem but don't understand what it truly means to be one. So that's why i wrote this post to try and educate these kind of people with what I felt it is to be a submissive .
Thanks for your lovely comments

 

[Enquiring minds01]

But did Anastasia really understand the concept of what being a submissive is really about in the first book? All she knew was what Christian told her and infatuation and naivety blinded her completely to try to at least check out a few of the things he told her about online. The guy was fucked up as a so called Dominant, a lot of things he did were a no no especially to someone who had never even heard of things he was talking about. He himself had no concept about what being a Dominant is really all about. How can he possibly then impart anything positive to the poor girl who just wanted to be loved in return?

And I agree with everything you said submissivegal87 about submission. I personally deeply believe it comes from a place of deep strength. It gives me so much joy when a submissive gives himself to me fully and completely, trusting me to care of him. Now THAT takes a lot of strength and it’s something I treasure and never take for granted.

Great post by the way.

Hiya, soz to hi-jack this thread for a question.... I’m new to Kink Talk and looking to be educated... Since “no no” was mentioned here, I wondered IRL what would be considered no no for play partner (my playmate is nat.dom& has BDSM partner, but plays van. w/me cuz I am clueless what I like or not) to do w/me where I am open to experimentation. Still trying to process what all happened (and still feeling the V.stretch from Fri-is that normal?) not sure what I think or feel or what conversations I need to be having to work thru what all is in my brain. I feel like I was left to it and have not heard from other than to ask if it was enjoyable. I don’t like feeling this way and I defo want to sort my head before communicating w/him on the topic. I am really wondering What he got out of it, assuming he’s alway in dom mode? What is the point of stretching anyway?? (Other than the massive geyser when being bound & pumped later in the eve.)

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Hiya, soz to hi-jack this thread for a question.... I’m new to Kink Talk and looking to be educated... Since “no no” was mentioned here, I wondered IRL what would be considered no no for play partner (my playmate is nat.dom& has BDSM partner, but plays van. w/me cuz I am clueless what I like or not) to do w/me where I am open to experimentation. Still trying to process what all happened (and still feeling the V.stretch from Fri-is that normal?) not sure what I think or feel or what conversations I need to be having to work thru what all is in my brain. I feel like I was left to it and have not heard from other than to ask if it was enjoyable. I don’t like feeling this way and I defo want to sort my head before communicating w/him on the topic. I am really wondering What he got out of it, assuming he’s alway in dom mode? What is the point of stretching anyway?? (Other than the massive geyser when being bound & pumped later in the eve.)

This isn't really the right place to be starting a question like this, it deserves it's own thread.
Perhaps you could start again by creating your own in the Submissive Lounge (same forum as this thread) and we can add some ideas and thoughts. Basically it sounds like your play dom dropped the ball here, what's missing is called aftercare. You may also be experiencing some sub drop, all this needs to be unpacked and explained.

 

[Enquiring minds01]

This isn't really the right place to be starting a question like this, it deserves it's own thread.
Perhaps you could start again by creating your own in the Submissive Lounge (same forum as this thread) and we can add some ideas and thoughts. Basically it sounds like your play dom dropped the ball here, what's missing is called aftercare. You may also be experiencing some sub drop, all this needs to be unpacked and explained.

Thx, @droptokon, will do!