Put a writing implement of your choice in your ass. Now get a piece of paper and write "fuck slut" on it, with your ass of course! Post a picture of the paper on here so we can judge!
If you can't read it, you must slap your balls once for every letter that isn't legible.
Another is to spank your ass with a hairbrush. Put up a picture of your ass before the snaking and after, so we can see your clearly reddened ass!
I just realized that I am too late! I hope you accept these anyway.