The truth
- Thread starter Kittykat24
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- dom naughty pain submission trust
I don't want to raise your hopes unnecessarily but there may be a good reason why he has not been able to communicate with you... illness, lack of internet, heaven knows.
But I feel your loss and hope in time your mind heals and you find somebody worthy of you.
But I feel your loss and hope in time your mind heals and you find somebody worthy of you.
Maybe if this was the first time he's done this but it's not and I can't keep putting myself through that. No matter what I message him I never get any form of response
It only takes a few moments to send a simple message. whether its on kik skype text or here. The reason a person is not contacting or responding to someone is because they dont want to. In a d/s relationship of any form communication is key. Dont spend any significant time evaluating yourself or beating your self up. dont stress over the "why". If this person is connected with you as well as youve stated then they obviously enjoyed you enough to grow that relationship at the time. Take it as a learning experience and grow from it. do not allow that person any power over you by dwelling on it.
Ive spoke with countless sub types that their previous doms ghost and show up months later with some bullshit excuse thinking they can just step right back in where they left off. if theyre not paralyzed, dead or incarcerated then they can send a simple message. Lots of times its that the person was too weak to nut up and speak honestly about how they felt. it may seem harsh to tell someone its over and youre no longer happy with them, but it sure beats just leaving them wondering.
Ive had a few subs leave under similar circumstances as what you have been through. it doesnt get any easier but its all part of the lifestyle unfortunately.
especially online as for some reason people see those relationships and less significant than face to face real life.
maybe its time to start exploring locally at munches and meets. or just take whats happened and keep a close watch with your next connection.
best of luck
Ive spoke with countless sub types that their previous doms ghost and show up months later with some bullshit excuse thinking they can just step right back in where they left off. if theyre not paralyzed, dead or incarcerated then they can send a simple message. Lots of times its that the person was too weak to nut up and speak honestly about how they felt. it may seem harsh to tell someone its over and youre no longer happy with them, but it sure beats just leaving them wondering.
Ive had a few subs leave under similar circumstances as what you have been through. it doesnt get any easier but its all part of the lifestyle unfortunately.
especially online as for some reason people see those relationships and less significant than face to face real life.
maybe its time to start exploring locally at munches and meets. or just take whats happened and keep a close watch with your next connection.
best of luck
I told you in previous post that you maybe rushed into this. You felt alone, you needed someone, company, just a small attention, and some guys are smooth talkers. Thing is, after every relationship, vanilla or this one, one side start questioning where did he/she wrong, could be done something better. Things like this happen, not just to you, to lots of people. Put yourself together young lady, this is a bad experience for you, but try not to be pushed away from this lifestyle, learn something from this there is always good Masters or Dominant persons who value time with their slaves or subs. And for your information, lots of slaves do exactly the same, spend some time with Master, and then disappear, they just move to another person, cause that turn them on, new person, new experience, and that kind of persons are players, and you have them on both sides.
There is some wisdom in the posts above, the truth is it's the way things are online.
My advice here is not directed at you alone, its meant to be general for anyone Dom or sub wanting to know how to find lasting relationships online.
People can hide behind their nick never revealing anything much about themselves, it seems real and it is, you become invested in the relationship and so get hurt in just the same way as "real life".
You have no way of knowing, especially from the first few messages what someone is really like and this is where the main issue occurs. Too many people are in a hurry, they want to find their Dom or sub NOW. It doesn't work like that, spend time chatting and if after a few weeks they are still interested in you and you in them, you can begin to commit a little more.
There are many who seem to treat online partners like characters in a video game, you can "shoot 'em dead many times but they always come back" seems to be their attitude. I have seen some really stupid and often really dangerous suggestions offered by supposed Dom's as tasks for their online subs, things that in person they would never attempt or suggest. To these types, just dropping out and breaking your heart is nothing.
On the flip side there are submissive types that are really just fantasy collectors, too lazy to find stories themselves they want creative Dom's to feed them. Typically for this persona a Dom may write a long and detailed task only to receive a one line response asking for more.
So my tips for spotting someone worth cultivating as potential partner;
1. Do you get back equal or similar amounts to what you give them? If you seem to be the one doing all the work just in messaging it isn't a good sign.
2. Work out time zone differences. This can be more problematic than many realise, if you want to proceed make sure you both understand what the cross over times are.
3. Don't let yourself be bullied into doing something you don't like, D/s relationships are built on trust and respect just like any other. Take the time to work on finding your common ground, the kink world is big and there are many kinks, often you will find you don't share many common kinks and this will lead to you wanting to seek them somewhere else.
4. Don't commit to anything for at least a couple of weeks. Now I know this may sound outrageously long to some but it's not, as staff here I know how quickly some people come and go, there are almost 40000 registered here and less than 1000 active. Your dream Dom or sub may be long gone in 10 days.
5. Be realistic in your expectations. Online Doms cannot give full time attention and online subs cannot serve full time. We sleep, eat, go to work or school and have a myriad of other daily commitments, this little corner of online kink is for many just a distraction.
6. DON'T PANIC if you can't find a match for you in a week or even a month, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. It is well worth taking the time.
7. Rather than posting ads try messaging people you find interesting direct, read the profile and posts by that person and when you do message make it interesting, not "kik me xxxxxxx". If the person doesn't have any info in their profile or has only posted scant one sentence posts be wary, they are most likely going to be lazy in other respects.
I hope this helps some of you to find some more lasting relationships.
My advice here is not directed at you alone, its meant to be general for anyone Dom or sub wanting to know how to find lasting relationships online.
People can hide behind their nick never revealing anything much about themselves, it seems real and it is, you become invested in the relationship and so get hurt in just the same way as "real life".
You have no way of knowing, especially from the first few messages what someone is really like and this is where the main issue occurs. Too many people are in a hurry, they want to find their Dom or sub NOW. It doesn't work like that, spend time chatting and if after a few weeks they are still interested in you and you in them, you can begin to commit a little more.
There are many who seem to treat online partners like characters in a video game, you can "shoot 'em dead many times but they always come back" seems to be their attitude. I have seen some really stupid and often really dangerous suggestions offered by supposed Dom's as tasks for their online subs, things that in person they would never attempt or suggest. To these types, just dropping out and breaking your heart is nothing.
On the flip side there are submissive types that are really just fantasy collectors, too lazy to find stories themselves they want creative Dom's to feed them. Typically for this persona a Dom may write a long and detailed task only to receive a one line response asking for more.
So my tips for spotting someone worth cultivating as potential partner;
1. Do you get back equal or similar amounts to what you give them? If you seem to be the one doing all the work just in messaging it isn't a good sign.
2. Work out time zone differences. This can be more problematic than many realise, if you want to proceed make sure you both understand what the cross over times are.
3. Don't let yourself be bullied into doing something you don't like, D/s relationships are built on trust and respect just like any other. Take the time to work on finding your common ground, the kink world is big and there are many kinks, often you will find you don't share many common kinks and this will lead to you wanting to seek them somewhere else.
4. Don't commit to anything for at least a couple of weeks. Now I know this may sound outrageously long to some but it's not, as staff here I know how quickly some people come and go, there are almost 40000 registered here and less than 1000 active. Your dream Dom or sub may be long gone in 10 days.
5. Be realistic in your expectations. Online Doms cannot give full time attention and online subs cannot serve full time. We sleep, eat, go to work or school and have a myriad of other daily commitments, this little corner of online kink is for many just a distraction.
6. DON'T PANIC if you can't find a match for you in a week or even a month, it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. It is well worth taking the time.
7. Rather than posting ads try messaging people you find interesting direct, read the profile and posts by that person and when you do message make it interesting, not "kik me xxxxxxx". If the person doesn't have any info in their profile or has only posted scant one sentence posts be wary, they are most likely going to be lazy in other respects.
I hope this helps some of you to find some more lasting relationships.
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