Too old to be a sub?

BiSubbyHubbyAZ

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Jun 15, 2022
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Dear all.
Hi, I am new to kink forums.
I found that roleplaying being submissive in a couple of relationships was easy in my 20s. However, after 14 years of a vanilla marriage and having met somebody 9 years younger than me now who is naturally dominant and also enthusiastic about bdsm, I feel that being a sub at 44 would be a bit fraudulent as getting into the role play of being submissive and all naive would make me look ridiculous so I am a bit tentative about letting myself get into the role.

Any suggestions or thoughts much appreciated.
Never too late man. You're going to look back later if you don't do it and you're going to think that you were not making the best decision...
 
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MichaelF

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Dear all.
Hi, I am new to kink forums.
I found that roleplaying being submissive in a couple of relationships was easy in my 20s. However, after 14 years of a vanilla marriage and having met somebody 9 years younger than me now who is naturally dominant and also enthusiastic about bdsm, I feel that being a sub at 44 would be a bit fraudulent as getting into the role play of being submissive and all naive would make me look ridiculous so I am a bit tentative about letting myself get into the role.

Any suggestions or thoughts much appreciated.
If you have the right partner, it doesn't matter how old you are.
 
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Scrib

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If you have the right partner, it doesn't matter how old you are.
Never too late man. You're going to look back later if you don't do it and you're going to think that you were not making the best decision...
I agree with BSHAZ & MichaelF,

The heart wants what the heart wants,

Age is just a state of mind ... plus some physiological changes.

Just use any embarrassment and discomfort you feel to add to the play.

Go for it.
 

MichaelF

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I agree with BSHAZ & MichaelF,

The heart wants what the heart wants,

Age is just a state of mind ... plus some physiological changes.

Just use any embarrassment and discomfort you feel to add to the play.

Go for it.
This is such good advice! Being a sub is just a way of showing love - works at any age.
 
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subtlizer

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being direct, once i met a sub with age about 60 years, on omegle and she prefer a younger dom, so pretty much your case,
as long as you both are ok with the relation, i dont think age matters any where in the relation.
as long as you happy, and as long as he is happy, age goes to hell.
 

johanber

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Sep 7, 2022
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As many here, I think age isnt so determinant... maybe for some sroleplay, but not for being a submissive, and (for what i think) isnt so important also the partner and dominant age, is just a matter of having and giving fun and feel yourself in all the process (btw i am older than the first post maker...)
 

dearelliot

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I know I'm too old to find a domme lady for free...but I never thought that free stuff would work anyway.
I have scheduled appts with pro dommes for the next couple of weeks, and I'm the oldest guy here.
 

Beccaq

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I’m only a few years younger than you, I’m naturally a submissive but I made a huge mistake of living in shame and denial all my life. Only recently I’ve learned to accept my submissiveness as part of my identity, and it was too late because im stuck in a long term vanilla relationship. If you identify as a submissive, please do not let age or any other disposition to stop you from embracing who you are and to enjoy how you feel. The sooner you do this, the less regret you might have later. My advice is to read as much as you can about the lifestyle and to find what works best for you. If your partner’s age is the problem, then maybe he isn’t the right Dom for you. Being submissive is not the same as ‘acting naive’ as you put it. You might want to reflect about what submissiveness means to you. All the best.
 

AusNightOwl

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I’m only a few years younger than you, I’m naturally a submissive but I made a huge mistake of living in shame and denial all my life. Only recently I’ve learned to accept my submissiveness as part of my identity, and it was too late because im stuck in a long term vanilla relationship. If you identify as a submissive, please do not let age or any other disposition to stop you from embracing who you are and to enjoy how you feel. The sooner you do this, the less regret you might have later. My advice is to read as much as you can about the lifestyle and to find what works best for you. If your partner’s age is the problem, then maybe he isn’t the right Dom for you. Being submissive is not the same as ‘acting naive’ as you put it. You might want to reflect about what submissiveness means to you. All the best.
That about perfectly sums everything up for me, but on the Dom side.
Good advice
 
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Dirtbag69b

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Dear all.
Hi, I am new to kink forums.
I found that roleplaying being submissive in a couple of relationships was easy in my 20s. However, after 14 years of a vanilla marriage and having met somebody 9 years younger than me now who is naturally dominant and also enthusiastic about bdsm, I feel that being a sub at 44 would be a bit fraudulent as getting into the role play of being submissive and all naive would make me look ridiculous so I am a bit tentative about letting myself get into the role.

Any suggestions or thoughts much appreciated.
Hi

the answer is simple no, ur never to old

Stop listening to ageist prats online. I am 53 and often get the response ugh ur so old etc they think they invented kinkiness

If u wanna have kinky fun into ur 90s go for it I certainly plan on it I may need the wee blue pills but what the hell
 
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Likelad

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Hi

the answer is simple no, ur never to old

Stop listening to ageist prats online. I am 53 and often get the response ugh ur so old etc they think they invented kinkiness

If u wanna have kinky fun into ur 90s go for it I certainly plan on it I may need the wee blue pills but what the hell
Don't think she will read it , look when people last online.
 

older dom

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Dear all.
Hi, I am new to kink forums.
I found that roleplaying being submissive in a couple of relationships was easy in my 20s. However, after 14 years of a vanilla marriage and having met somebody 9 years younger than me now who is naturally dominant and also enthusiastic about bdsm, I feel that being a sub at 44 would be a bit fraudulent as getting into the role play of being submissive and all naive would make me look ridiculous so I am a bit tentative about letting myself get into the role.

Any suggestions or thoughts much appreciated.
im only new here on KinkTalk but i would like to give my opinion on the subject. Being an older Dom myself i have had one offline Domme/gf relationship and a couple online D/s relationships. Back when i was in my early 30's and she was in her late 40's at the time and I don't believe age should be a barrier but more of a learning expiriance as being younger or older each person has differant wants likes and points of view that the other partner can learn from and adapt to to make a relationship stronger as long as the two subjects are of legal age and respect each other for who they are it dosent really matter as long as you respect yourself.
 

ritz

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I liked the discussion. The fact that there are others like me around who are happy to submit to a domme though older than most other subs in age. I am young at heart and physically still fit.
 

Yo.

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Well. What I learned and still learning it's that age doesn't matter in BDSM world. I am close to 50s and started this 6-7 months ago. What I know it's with right Dom you always will be young. At least you will feel more young.
 
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Zanatas

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Dear all.
Hi, I am new to kink forums.
I found that roleplaying being submissive in a couple of relationships was easy in my 20s. However, after 14 years of a vanilla marriage and having met somebody 9 years younger than me now who is naturally dominant and also enthusiastic about bdsm, I feel that being a sub at 44 would be a bit fraudulent as getting into the role play of being submissive and all naive would make me look ridiculous so I am a bit tentative about letting myself get into the role.

Any suggestions or thoughts much appreciated.
Age does not matter, if it did, you'd need to be in your 30's to be a Daddy Dom or Mommy Dom lol. Try to clear your mind from whatever judgmental thoughts you have and embrace the here and now, the moment with him. Obviously this is easier saying than doing, but it's how I act when dominating, focusing on the now, the bottom in front of me, on what to do.

Hope everything goes well with the young blood and you, go be a good girl for him and find that inner sub and enjoy it!
 
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Sexymary147

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Jan 15, 2024
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Dear all.
Hi, I am new to kink forums.
I found that roleplaying being submissive in a couple of relationships was easy in my 20s. However, after 14 years of a vanilla marriage and having met somebody 9 years younger than me now who is naturally dominant and also enthusiastic about bdsm, I feel that being a sub at 44 would be a bit fraudulent as getting into the role play of being submissive and all naive would make me look ridiculous so I am a bit tentative about letting myself get into the role.

Any suggestions or thoughts much appreciated.
You need to serve a mistress and book a session with her to explore the lifestyle
 
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dearelliot

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I'd say winning the lottery is easier than finding a Mistress who understands the D/s lifestyle.
 

RedSector

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However, after 14 years of a vanilla marriage and having met somebody 9 years younger than me now who is naturally dominant and also enthusiastic about bdsm, I feel that being a sub at 44 would be a bit fraudulent as getting into the role play of being submissive and all naive would make me look ridiculous so I am a bit tentative about letting myself get into the role.

Once you make whatever age is the legal age of consent in your country, your age is just the number of times around the sun you have made it without dying. It has other relevance, not to your relationship, not to BDSM, not to anything.

Those Who Mind Don’t Matter, and Those Who Matter Don’t Mind.​

 
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