Very new and need pointers, please

[Jgrmngrl]

Hello,

I recently started a new relationship with a man who is a bit older than me. So far it was mostly very gentle and loving. He told me about his fetish for BDSM and we tried a little bit here and there. I have to say it was simply amazing and I can not wait to try some more. He is a very quiet and almost shy man but as soon as we step into the bedroom he transforms into a very dominant man who knows exactly what he wants. Now, since he is obviously way more experienced in this than me, I would like some general DOs and DONTs, if that's even possible. For example, I felt a little out of place as he was starting to tie the rope around me. Don't get me wrong, seeing him so very calm, collected and fully concentrated on his task was very arousing but I still didn't know what I was suppose to do.

I will try to give a few examples without going too much into detail... As he was starting to tie the rope, I wasn't sure how to move, what to say or even if i should say anything, if it was okay to giggle, and so forth... If he spanks me,am I allowed to care for the area or do I wait for him to do so?

I understand it is all personal preference but he is not so good talking about it, he would rather show me so here I am, trying to find people who can enlighten me and open the door to his (so far very pleasing) world.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Sounds like you've found someone who does know what he is doing even if his aftercare is a little remiss. I would suggest to get in touch with some of the more experienced submissive on the board (look for the ones that have been members a while and posted a lot, read their stuff) and ask them directly what they think.
My own thoughts are that there really aren't a lot of rules to follow on your side as he seems to be directing play quite well and will almost certainly reprimand you if you do something he doesn't like. In general where explicit instructions are given follow them (providing you are ok with them) but if nothing is said, such as the after care from a spanking then do what you need to do.

 

[myplaytime]

Unless you really know and trust this individual I would NOT recommend being tied and at his mercy. If and when you are comfortable you should have a safe word. Remember once you are incapacitated you are in his total control.

 

[Jgrmngrl]

Well I know he would never hurt me to the point of me being in actual pain. I feel that I can trust him to surrender my body to his will. He was very attentive and loving after we were done, he was rubbing the rope marks and made sure I liked what he was doing. It took me almost 5 months to agree to some of the stuff we were doing (that's how long we've been dating). I really liked it but I felt a little out of place since I don't know the "protocol" if there even is such a thing. I know over time he will teach me but I think it would be nice for him if I already knew what to do. This is all very new to me since I was always rather dominant in the bedroom until i met him.

Despite me asking for the proper way of behaving, he is very understanding and patient that this is a totally new world to me. Like I said in the original post, he is a bit older than me and naturally he has a lot more experience then me. I guess my main thing is that I don't want to appear as a little giggly childish young girl who doesn't know what the heck she is doing...

 

[Subgirl90]

Hello, I'm also new

I have a Dom about like you do. Do you have a kik? I'd love to talk to you some about things and see what you've learned and also share what I've learned. My kik is Loonha.

 

[myplaytime]

Since you enjoyed it and feel safe and secure. Try not to act like you think he would like you to act. Relax, be natural be your naive self and follow his wishes and orders. It may just be he likes you being a giggly childish little girl. If not he will correct you with the proper punishment. Keep me posted on your pleasurable adventure.