This is something I see and hear a lot, that people are afraid their love of kink and bdsm will be discovered by others. In fact I saw a post that included something to this effect today "I have this overwhelming paranoia that somehow, someone from my life will find out about this kinky side of me, and it's seriously a crippling fear."
It's such a shame that so many live under this cloud of fear, it's akin to perhaps what it was like being gay in the 50's (and for some people still is).
So why is being kinky such a stigma for so many? I know there are still huge numbers of the general population who think we're all a bunch of chicken sacrificing satan worshipers but in this post "50 Shades" world why is there so much shame in being kinky? Now I'm not going into the merits or otherwise of that series of books and movies but if nothing else it's made some aspects of bdsm almost trendy!
For me personally I have never actively hidden what I do but in the same way vanilla folk don't go around telling everyone what they did in bed last night, I don't advertise it either. I don't leave bondage paraphernalia around the house in the same way people don't leave dildos on the coffee table. There is a big difference between being discrete and hiding what you do. And I know for some there is actual a thrill component to doing something naughty so hiding it is part of the fun for them but if it is at the stage of being a "crippling fear" then its time to take control and do something about it.
Ultimately my kink is my business, and your kink is your business too, no one else's. You should never be ashamed of who you are, being kinky is common and normal behavior that should be enjoyable. First of all you need to accept your kinkiness is part of your personality and I know from experience it isn't something you "grow out of" or that goes away. Kinky folk are kinky folk and trying to deny it always leads to problems. I won't go into details here as there is plenty of online stuff you can google about positive affirming for bdsm and kinky people that you should read if this is troubling you.
But what are your experiences and tips, how do you cope, what do you share and what do you hide? Lets get a proper discussion going to help blow the stigma off our beloved kink!
It's such a shame that so many live under this cloud of fear, it's akin to perhaps what it was like being gay in the 50's (and for some people still is).
So why is being kinky such a stigma for so many? I know there are still huge numbers of the general population who think we're all a bunch of chicken sacrificing satan worshipers but in this post "50 Shades" world why is there so much shame in being kinky? Now I'm not going into the merits or otherwise of that series of books and movies but if nothing else it's made some aspects of bdsm almost trendy!
For me personally I have never actively hidden what I do but in the same way vanilla folk don't go around telling everyone what they did in bed last night, I don't advertise it either. I don't leave bondage paraphernalia around the house in the same way people don't leave dildos on the coffee table. There is a big difference between being discrete and hiding what you do. And I know for some there is actual a thrill component to doing something naughty so hiding it is part of the fun for them but if it is at the stage of being a "crippling fear" then its time to take control and do something about it.
Ultimately my kink is my business, and your kink is your business too, no one else's. You should never be ashamed of who you are, being kinky is common and normal behavior that should be enjoyable. First of all you need to accept your kinkiness is part of your personality and I know from experience it isn't something you "grow out of" or that goes away. Kinky folk are kinky folk and trying to deny it always leads to problems. I won't go into details here as there is plenty of online stuff you can google about positive affirming for bdsm and kinky people that you should read if this is troubling you.
But what are your experiences and tips, how do you cope, what do you share and what do you hide? Lets get a proper discussion going to help blow the stigma off our beloved kink!
