Am I doing this right?

[Bitchgirl]

Hello everyone,

I am kinky newbie who got involved officially just before a month, even a month has not passed yet. Before that I had few encounters with bdsm, which were not mentally accepting to me. I have dom, now, so please don't approach me that way. Dom is good and caring, but this was something I can't directly asked him, so I am asking here, if you can help any way it is welcomed.

Before getting started with bdsm, I had hard time to accept kinky side of me. I get emotionally dependent on someone so easily, that even I don't realize that. Their mood and mood changes, controls my mood and happiness. I find difficulty to accept that, if I am happy, and someone is sad, I should still stay happy, and not to let another person difficulties control me, when I can't do something helpful to them, if I can I would definitely do it.

I am getting attached with my dom, in a way I should not, I am not planning that. I want to stop it. It is kind of getting into way of my personal life. I find myself thinking too much about session and all, that I forget about my actual daily routine tasks. It is hindering other my psychological concepts as well, like I find myself difficult in making my personal decision, I don't want my personal and BDSM life get clashed. I stay distracted all day. I also sometimes think about leaving this and going back to my personal life, but I tried that, I failed there. I want to continue but I don't know how to align my thoughts. How to deal both bdsm and personal life at the same time?

Should I tell my dom to keep it only sexual and only up to the session our interaction? What should I do?

Thank you so much for reading it and if you have any suggestions for me, please say below or pm. If you find it, boring and foolish, please just ignore instead of cursing me here.

 

[Bjenny]

Hello everyone,

I am kinky newbie who got involved officially just before a month, even a month has not passed yet. Before that I had few encounters with bdsm, which were not mentally accepting to me. I have dom, now, so please don't approach me that way. Dom is good and caring, but this was something I can't directly asked him, so I am asking here, if you can help any way it is welcomed.

Before getting started with bdsm, I had hard time to accept kinky side of me. I get emotionally dependent on someone so easily, that even I don't realize that. Their mood and mood changes, controls my mood and happiness. I find difficulty to accept that, if I am happy, and someone is sad, I should still stay happy, and not to let another person difficulties control me, when I can't do something helpful to them, if I can I would definitely do it.

I am getting attached with my dom, in a way I should not, I am not planning that. I want to stop it. It is kind of getting into way of my personal life. I find myself thinking too much about session and all, that I forget about my actual daily routine tasks. It is hindering other my psychological concepts as well, like I find myself difficult in making my personal decision, I don't want my personal and BDSM life get clashed. I stay distracted all day. I also sometimes think about leaving this and going back to my personal life, but I tried that, I failed there. I want to continue but I don't know how to align my thoughts. How to deal both bdsm and personal life at the same time?

Should I tell my dom to keep it only sexual and only up to the session our interaction? What should I do?

Thank you so much for reading it and if you have any suggestions for me, please say below or pm. If you find it, boring and foolish, please just ignore instead of cursing me here.

Add me on kik Bjenny01 and tell me your kik name. We talk on kik.

 

[Gengis]

Hello everyone,

I am kinky newbie who got involved officially just before a month, even a month has not passed yet. Before that I had few encounters with bdsm, which were not mentally accepting to me. I have dom, now, so please don't approach me that way. Dom is good and caring, but this was something I can't directly asked him, so I am asking here, if you can help any way it is welcomed.

Before getting started with bdsm, I had hard time to accept kinky side of me. I get emotionally dependent on someone so easily, that even I don't realize that. Their mood and mood changes, controls my mood and happiness. I find difficulty to accept that, if I am happy, and someone is sad, I should still stay happy, and not to let another person difficulties control me, when I can't do something helpful to them, if I can I would definitely do it.

I am getting attached with my dom, in a way I should not, I am not planning that. I want to stop it. It is kind of getting into way of my personal life. I find myself thinking too much about session and all, that I forget about my actual daily routine tasks. It is hindering other my psychological concepts as well, like I find myself difficult in making my personal decision, I don't want my personal and BDSM life get clashed. I stay distracted all day. I also sometimes think about leaving this and going back to my personal life, but I tried that, I failed there. I want to continue but I don't know how to align my thoughts. How to deal both bdsm and personal life at the same time?

Should I tell my dom to keep it only sexual and only up to the session our interaction? What should I do?

Thank you so much for reading it and if you have any suggestions for me, please say below or pm. If you find it, boring and foolish, please just ignore instead of cursing me here.

Remember that u have to set limits youself and have them respected, be sincere, your dom should just accept the way u want to interact with him.

Allowing him to push your limits its ok if u feel its ok and its ok to let him know what are your feelings and thoughts.

Maybe stablishing an schedule could work? like... kinky things only these days and at these hours.

Everytime i say "its ok to..." its ment to be "its mandatory in order to get a healthy relationship, evenmor ein bdsm"

 

[Bitchgirl]

Remember that u have to set limits youself and have them respected, be sincere, your dom should just accept the way u want to interact with him.

Allowing him to push your limits its ok if u feel its ok and its ok to let him know what are your feelings and thoughts.

Maybe stablishing an schedule could work? like... kinky things only these days and at these hours.

Everytime i say "its ok to..." its ment to be "its mandatory in order to get a healthy relationship, evenmor ein bdsm"

Thank you for your reply. I had to communicate with him. I think schedule thing could work. I liked the second para, where you it's okay doesn't mean it's okay. I got you.

 

[subzzzero]

Hello everyone,

I am kinky newbie who got involved officially just before a month, even a month has not passed yet. Before that I had few encounters with bdsm, which were not mentally accepting to me. I have dom, now, so please don't approach me that way. Dom is good and caring, but this was something I can't directly asked him, so I am asking here, if you can help any way it is welcomed.

Before getting started with bdsm, I had hard time to accept kinky side of me. I get emotionally dependent on someone so easily, that even I don't realize that. Their mood and mood changes, controls my mood and happiness. I find difficulty to accept that, if I am happy, and someone is sad, I should still stay happy, and not to let another person difficulties control me, when I can't do something helpful to them, if I can I would definitely do it.

I am getting attached with my dom, in a way I should not, I am not planning that. I want to stop it. It is kind of getting into way of my personal life. I find myself thinking too much about session and all, that I forget about my actual daily routine tasks. It is hindering other my psychological concepts as well, like I find myself difficult in making my personal decision, I don't want my personal and BDSM life get clashed. I stay distracted all day. I also sometimes think about leaving this and going back to my personal life, but I tried that, I failed there. I want to continue but I don't know how to align my thoughts. How to deal both bdsm and personal life at the same time?

Should I tell my dom to keep it only sexual and only up to the session our interaction? What should I do?

Thank you so much for reading it and if you have any suggestions for me, please say below or pm. If you find it, boring and foolish, please just ignore instead of cursing me here.

Sub frenzy. You need to research this. It is likely what you have going on.

Also idk how your Dom is experience wise. You sound inexperienced so I hope he’s got legit real Exp. It would be beneficial to talk to him if he’s experienced only . It sounds like maybe you rushed the whole thing and during the frenzy it is now the only thing you can focus on. A real Dom would be able to help with this. Something as simple as adjusting your rules to help encourage the daily life focus. Let’s say you’re neglecting your chores and college work for example. Having rules put in place that require to you do those things daily and show proof. This would feed your need to serve but also address the daily needs things.

I get emotionally dependent on someone so easily, that even I don't realize that. Their mood and mood changes, controls my mood and happiness.

Did you make your Dom aware of this? If not. It is necessary to do so with him and any other future ones. Be aware some may take advantage of that so be sure to have some personal plan to keep yourself in check.


One last follow up. How long did you talk with your Dom before he became your Dom. How long was the vetting process?

 

[subzzzero]

Add me on kik Bjenny01 and tell me your kik name. We talk on kik.

Take your thirst elsewhere. This is a legit post seeking advice. Your everyday one liners seeking subs is just inexperienced predatory behavior.

 

[Bitchgirl]

Hello Everyone,

I talked with my dom, we are good now. Thank you so much @Gengis and @subzzzero for concern and advices. You guys really make this good place to talk to and get some valuable advices. Thank you very much.

 

[Gengis]

that was fast, glad u made it work!!!

 

[Bitchgirl]

that was fast, glad u made it work!!!

Yes, I did. Thank you once again

 

[Gengis]

Yes, I did. Thank you once again

xDDDDDDDDD

 

[Bjenny]

Take your thirst elsewhere. This is a legit post seeking advice. Your everyday one liners seeking subs is just inexperienced predatory behavior.

There it is again. Can you not comment for once? Leave people alone.

 

[Bitchgirl]

There it is again. Can you not comment for once? Leave people alone.

Can't you please, leave me alone? I had specifically said, I already have dom.

 

[Gengis]

There it is again. Can you not comment for once? Leave people alone.

Some1 needed to put you in your place, what the hell u think u are dude?
probably .. you do need more of us to order you to shut your trap!!
If i were you, i whould be ashamed of being called out.
Obviously you are not me... Your lack of elegance is flagrant, know ur place, learn some manners.
There should be a tutorial online you can check

 

[LadyGrace321]

There it is again. Can you not comment for once? Leave people alone.

I place high value on things zero says. He's knowledgeable, and protects people from being scammed.
And what did you do? I agree with @Gengis.
Learn from this. If you have something worth talking about, then by all means jump in and comment.

 

[Naughty nova]

Communication is key. Never be afraid to speak you mind. If you don't tell your Dom then how can they know there is an issue. And any good dom will want to know how there sub is feeling just like any good sub will want to know how there dom is feeling. That doesn't mean you will always think the same way. But it helps to see both sides. We are all in this to learn and grow. Even bad experiences help us grow. Sometimes we learn that it's just not for us. I was learning to be a switch for my Daddy but along the way I focused so much on being a domme I feel I lost me. So now I need to get back to me. It was a learning experience that just did not work. So now we regroup and get back to us. Wish you the best. There are definitely some on here that truly care about the community

 

[Bitchgirl]

Communication is key. Never be afraid to speak you mind. If you don't tell your Dom then how can they know there is an issue. And any good dom will want to know how there sub is feeling just like any good sub will want to know how there dom is feeling. That doesn't mean you will always think the same way. But it helps to see both sides. We are all in this to learn and grow. Even bad experiences help us grow. Sometimes we learn that it's just not for us. I was learning to be a switch for my Daddy but along the way I focused so much on being a domme I feel I lost me. So now I need to get back to me. It was a learning experience that just did not work. So now we regroup and get back to us. Wish you the best. There are definitely some on here that truly care about the community

Thank you so much for your reply. I am learning and improving myself in this. I totally agree with you about communication point. Actually, that's something I love most about BDSM, is to communicate openly and respecting each other boundaries. Yes, everything right now is my first experience and I am kind of enjoying it. There are going to be many changes in my life and personality due to this. I am accepting and acknowledging those changes as well.

It is was really nice and helpful for me that you guys took time and efforts to help me. Thank you so much to everyone who replied and sent pm to me.

 

[Bitchgirl]

Sub frenzy. You need to research this. It is likely what you have going on.

I didn't know about sub frenzy. I am doing research on this. It has happened few times that I demanded task, but my dom has stopped me or did it very lightly and safely. I had to learn to control my desires.

Also idk how your Dom is experience wise. You sound inexperienced so I hope he’s got legit real Exp. It would be beneficial to talk to him if he’s experienced only . It sounds like maybe you rushed the whole thing and during the frenzy it is now the only thing you can focus on. A real Dom would be able to help with this. Something as simple as adjusting your rules to help encourage the daily life focus. Let’s say you’re neglecting your chores and college work for example. Having rules put in place that require to you do those things daily and show proof. This would feed your need to serve but also address the daily needs things.

He had adjusted few rules for me, like I need to study for specific hours and like that, but the problem is I can't focus properly. I had talked with him about this.

Did you make your Dom aware of this? If not. It is necessary to do so with him and any other future ones. Be aware some may take advantage of that so be sure to have some personal plan to keep yourself in check.

I talked with him about this. Also, I am protecting myself in this regard.

One last follow up. How long did you talk with your Dom before he became your Dom. How long was the vetting process?

I talked with him for 1 month before getting officially started. It's been around a month since we officially started. So, I know him since 2 months, you can say.

Sorry it took me some time to reply you. I am very thankful to you for your message.

 

[subzzzero]

I didn't know about sub frenzy. I am doing research on this. It has happened few times that I demanded task, but my dom has stopped me or did it very lightly and safely. I had to learn to control my desires.

He had adjusted few rules for me, like I need to study for specific hours and like that, but the problem is I can't focus properly. I had talked with him about this.

I talked with him about this. Also, I am protecting myself in this regard.

I talked with him for 1 month before getting officially started. It's been around a month since we officially started. So, I know him since 2 months, you can say.

Sorry it took me some time to reply you. I am very thankful to you for your message.

All good. I always ask things that may help either you understand you better. Or others to help with the advice over all.