Am I wrong for having an age limit?

[silentnotes]

Not completly sure if this belongs here or not.

I have posted an ad which can be seen on my profile, in which I state that I am looking, but I set an age limit. I understand that I'm limiting myself with that and that there are a lot of people I should be careful around with the limit I set. I set the limit because of my own comfort.
Recently I have been getting messages that I shouldn't be doing that or that I will draw in the wrong people and I am starting to question if it was a mistake or if I jst should stop looking until I am comfortable with people that aren't in that age group.
I kind of feel a bit lost about what I should do or how I should deal with those kind of responses, the obvious would be to ignore it but it's starting to get to me a bit.

 

[J91]

It is completely your decision as to what parameters you set when looking for a play partner. You do not need to justify these to someone else, just be wary that there are a lot of predators lurking around these sites and are ready to pounce at a moments notice.

Take time to really formulate an idea of what you are expecting to gain from a dynamic, and maybe dabble in some casual interactions before jumping into anything with limited experience. There are plenty of people around that you can PM for guidance if needed.

Good luck!

 

[Jolly_FtM]

Honestly, some people will always try because they don't fit the profile you're looking for, but you don't have to worry about that.

It is perfectly legitimate to set an age limit. I have a downward limit and I regularly have discussions about it, but I don't discuss it for long anymore, if the other person doesn't want to understand, I don't respond anymore.

I've been active for a while now and I'm not going to change my age limit, either up or down, and you don't have to if you don't really want to.

 

[garry0993]

It comes down to what kind of people you want to talk with. One thing always keep in mind is that only do things you are comfortable with in kink. So if you aren't comfortable with certain age group then you don't need to worry about it.

I am not sure what they mean by attracting the wrong group. This sounds more just guiltrip or try to trick you into doing something you aren't comfortable with.

Regarding age limit itself, I do have my prefer age range. I won't say I have a hard cut off but I am pretty sure which age group I get along most. I would still try to chat with the ones that are barely out of my range, just to see how things would be. But if you don't feel right with certain range, you don't need to talk to them

There is nothing wrong with this.

It is a bit ramble but I hope you get my point.

 

[subzzzero]

First. Fuck what everyone else thinks you are entitled to make whatever limits and parameters you want. This is for your future partner. It is no one’s business why or what age you picked especially not some internet randoms.

Seeing someone who’s trying to scare or pressure you into going outside your age limit you’ve set is someone you probably want to avoid anyways. Theyre trying to gaslight you into thinking they’re correct and you should go with them. It’s a predatory behavior shitty people use. It’s almost working based on how it’s making you feel. They’re showing they don’t care about your limits or your needs. Just block them and move on. Or put them on blast tell them to stop being shallow disrespectful assholes and to maybe try thinking more with their heads and less with their dicks.

People think age equals Exp. That’s kinda a touchy subject. But short version. I’ve met plenty in their 20s who were more experienced than some late 50s people. Age is not directly relatable to Exp. I’d suggest just asking any potential candidates in your age range for detailed specific kink experience. Vet them properly and you’ll be fine.

Keep strong you’re doing just fine with what you have chosen and how you have posted.

Edit: I went back over your post. It’s the fact you admit to lacking experience. This is what is brining the shitty guys around. They hope to scoop up a new sub who might not know better. Do your research and ask questions here and learn as much as you can to properly prepare yourself.

 

[pmme_yourfork]

@silentnotes Ill give a Germany Specific answer here so it will be in German.

Du wirst hier keinen Erfolg haben einen Partner zu finden.
Zu wenig leute insgesammt.
Viele in Creepy Alter
Die in deinem Alter sind zu 97% flachpfeifen mit denen du dich nicht abgeben solltest, wannabee doms die zuviel Porn schauen und keinen plan von Consent haben.

Du kannst mir gerne schreiben, Wohne in Bayern, reise aber gelegentlich hobbymäßig durchs Land.

Generell empfehle ich dir mal bei einem der Stammtische des https://smjg.org/ vorbei zu schauen, dass ist für BDSM/Kink interessierte Jugentliche mit einer Altersobergrenze von 27.
Kein Baggern sondern einfach gleichgesinnte kennenlernen und von da aus mal sehen ob es weiter geht.

Auf Fetlife.com kannst du nach weiteren regionalen veranstaltungen suchen.

Cheers und viel erfolg.

 

[silentnotes]

First. Fuck what everyone else thinks you are entitled to make whatever limits and parameters you want. This is for your future partner. It is no one’s business why or what age you picked especially not some internet randoms.

Seeing someone who’s trying to scare or pressure you into going outside your age limit you’ve set is someone you probably want to avoid anyways. Theyre trying to gaslight you into thinking they’re correct and you should go with them. It’s a predatory behavior shitty people use. It’s almost working based on how it’s making you feel. They’re showing they don’t care about your limits or your needs. Just block them and move on. Or put them on blast tell them to stop being shallow disrespectful assholes and to maybe try thinking more with their heads and less with their dicks.

People think age equals Exp. That’s kinda a touchy subject. But short version. I’ve met plenty in their 20s who were more experienced than some late 50s people. Age is not directly relatable to Exp. I’d suggest just asking any potential candidates in your age range for detailed specific kink experience. Vet them properly and you’ll be fine.

Keep strong you’re doing just fine with what you have chosen and how you have posted.

Edit: I went back over your post. It’s the fact you admit to lacking experience. This is what is brining the shitty guys around. They hope to scoop up a new sub who might not know better. Do your research and ask questions here and learn as much as you can to properly prepare yourself.

Well my lack of experience is practical and not theoretical, I do know what I should be expecting and Im'm not fully lost on what should and should not happen.

 

[pmme_yourfork]

Oh und n edit:
Nein es ist natürlich nicht Falsch ein Alterslimit zu haben.
Ich sehe ältere Doms welche auf junge und unerfahrene Subs gehen eher als potentiell creppy und abusive an. mit 35 hast du schon ein eher hohes Limit gesteckt.

 

[subzzzero]

Well my lack of experience is practical and not theoretical, I do know what I should be expecting and Im'm not fully lost on what should and should not happen.

That’s great you know what to expect and what should and should not happen. I was not faulting you for how you posted. More so just saying that predatory types see “new” or “less experienced” as easy prey. I hope you find a good match that fits your needs. You just keep pushing for the right one and don’t settle.

 

[Gem84]

Not completly sure if this belongs here or not.

I have posted an ad which can be seen on my profile, in which I state that I am looking, but I set an age limit. I understand that I'm limiting myself with that and that there are a lot of people I should be careful around with the limit I set. I set the limit because of my own comfort.
Recently I have been getting messages that I shouldn't be doing that or that I will draw in the wrong people and I am starting to question if it was a mistake or if I jst should stop looking until I am comfortable with people that aren't in that age group.
I kind of feel a bit lost about what I should do or how I should deal with those kind of responses, the obvious would be to ignore it but it's starting to get to me a bit.

I have always had some kind of age range, usually a minimum, when I have posted. I prefer a Dom being older than I am. A lot of people ignore it and message anyway. But you are completely allowed to have an age limit.

 

[Ballerina Boi]

when someone states they live with their parents, that's a big red flag as they might be a minor and you should hit the report button asap. Let management handle it.

 

[smoggey]

I agree above with others, you can have a age limit, nothing is wrong with, do not let it bother you with others who dont fit it your age limit.