Any advice for a new Dom?

marygaye69

Verified female
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May 14, 2015
36
2
8
Oh I don't know about that Mater Michael. I'm pretty sure most subs won't have heart attacks or call protective services on you. I'd love to read your next instalment....I say keep it public but if you must take it off the board could you pm me your next comments please .
 

Dragoste

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Feb 13, 2016
28
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1
Merida, Mexico
Ok, the next fews posts, I don't want to give the subs heart attacks, and have them call protective services on me, so I'm taking it off public posting, it's going to be dealing more with Master/slave relationships, and control, I know PC your game, and I know Green your interested too, anybody else, speak up.

Put me in i have been following this from the begining you have really good advices and I want to read how it ends
 
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Pcjammer

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Mar 1, 2016
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I'm glad I made this thread turns out a lot of other people were looking for advice too. Also If there are any other doms that would like to contribute go ahead, I'm looking for as much advice as possible.
 

NotQuiteTamed

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Mar 10, 2016
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To echo others $.02, and throw in my own....

Wherever you stand on kink/vanilla, dom/sub, open/monogamous, whatever, I think a good, healthy, solid relationship - serious or casual - is basically dependent on three things: mutual affection, respect, and honesty.

Affection: No, you don't have to be in love, but if you don't even like this other person, why are you with them? It's not fair to you, and frankly, it's not fair to them.

Respect: Whatever role you take, whatever you negotiate, whatever horrid, torrid, depraved, delicious...

(Ok, mind wandering there...)

Respect is a fundamental recognition of consent and an unquestioning willingness to accept that the other person has the absolute right to withdraw it -whenever they want-. Yes, even if they are a "slave". They're a human being. Full stop.

Trust: This one comes with time. You need to feel safe that what you do, say, want, whatever, will be treated with consideration and care - and so too does your partner. In kink, you can (and I think, will and should) be venturing into all sorts of really dicey emotional territory. That's what makes it so wonderful, and beautiful, and why it can build such an amazing bond between people. But to go there, I think you need to know without doubt that when you make yourself vulnerable to another, they will value that vulnerability. And that goes for tops too: its about being able to say "hey, this makes me feel like THIS" and know that even if your partner isnt into it, they will appreciate that you have given them that truth about you, and they will protect it.

Of course, all of this is pretty worthless without communication. Really talking about this stuff, again and again and again. Not withholding doubts or overplaying interests to appease your partner - all that will ultimately do is damage trust or land you in a relationship with someone who isn't really right for you.

But, this is just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth. :) Be safe!

P.S. On the topic of being safe: If you don't know how to do something safely, don't do it. And no, reading about it on the internet doesn't count as knowing how to do it safely.

P.P.S. Buy two goddamn sets of safety shears.
 
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MasterMichaelNY

Senior Kink Talk Member
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Dec 19, 2015
128
2
18
New York
Control, cond.
Now we went over how the slave should speak, now looks at how the Master/Mistress should speak.
Now unlike the slave speaking in a submissive voice, the Master or Mistress should be commanding. Example, first the wrong way.
You sitting down to dinner and you want a glass of water, and you have to rules out about how to address how you dinner severed. Again wrong way first, Girl can you please get me a glass of water. She gets up, gets the glass, and places it down, then you say, Thank you.
Now the right way, Girl, fetch me a glass of water, now. She gets up, and yada, yada, then when she places it down, then you say Good girl.
Ok, now I want you too reverse you viewpoint on this. I want you to place yourself in the slave shoes, which one, do you feel more of a commanding presents, of course the command, how does the command feel, and how does the request feel, which one makes you feel more secure.
Now, do we always command NO, of course not, we just do it to reinforce in the mind of the slave who’s in charge, just like in the military, does a sergeant give out formal commands no, but when he tells you to do something, he expects it to be done.
Ok, how to construct a command, then we will talk about the good girl part. First off, you have to direct the command to the person, girl, boy, or solder. Next what action, go fetch me a glass of water, or go do the dishes in the sink, then you and on the time constraint, now, later on, in 3 hours. So, it’s Girl, I want you to do the dishes, in the sink, later on.

Ok, now for the second part, the good girl. Ok, let me make this clear, it is not a Thank You. A good girl, is an acknowledgement for doing a good job following an order. When a slave asks for permission to orgasm, and you say, no, and ask again in 5 mins, and again you say no, then the next time you give permission, you give them the good girl, or boy, when they cum.
You should also use it when you review your slaves task that you gave them for the day. Don’t be cheap with acknowledging you slaves service. Praise them when they do a good job, let them know that you appreciate their service
It’s too often that you hear about a slave leaving a Master/Mistress because they didn’t appreciate their service. Don’t be that Master or Mistress. But also don’t over praise them too.

Next, praise and punishment, the balancing act.
 

MasterMichaelNY

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Dec 19, 2015
128
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New York
Punishment, and praise.

What works better for training your slave. A slave by nature wants to do a good job serving her Master, if she doesn't you have deep problems, but were not going to look at that right now, lets look at the normal happy slave, that is happy to be with her Master, or Mistress.

You leave for the day, and give your slave the task list, and you expect it to be complete, you didn't give the slave a full task list, you figure out some down time for them to eat and watch some TV or screw around on the internet, but when you come home, the list wasn't completed.

Of course you have to ask the question, "What happened", just in case the house burned down, and they rebuild you a entire new house, but forgot to add the extension that you always wanted.

Well, Sir, I was blogging on the computer and I lost track of time. Ok, you think to yourself, time to have fun. Ok, no computer usage for 2 months, and that old wind up alarm clock you have to wear it around your neck for a week, so that way you won't lose track of time. (Like I said, have fun with it).

The next day, your heading out the door, and she/he has there task list, and there looking like a rapper from the 80s with the dam alarm clock around their neck. When you get home, the tasks are complete, plus, your slave thought on there own, and did additional items, that you didn't have to point out.

You praise them for doing a great job, but what about the other stuff they did? That's what your training them for long term, to think on there own. In the end of training, you want your slave to be free thinking, knowing what you would want done, and doing it. So you have to do a special reward, a positive motivator to keep them going in that direction. As Master/Mistress you give punishment, and you can take it away too. Dam, we have super powers.

So you point out to slave, the extra stuff that they did, and then praise them for it, and remove a few days off the computer ban, as a special reward. Now, if everything goes right, maybe with the positive reinforcement you did today, it will sink in, and the same thing will happen tomorrow with rapper Sir Slavealot. (Ye think I would remove that clock, hell no, I would make them go food shopping for the week wearing that dam thing):eek:

Now if you can make punishment special, make it special, but only for a dumb screw up, like I pointed out above, not for something minor, that what lines are for. What are some punishment that can be special. Well let see, they played with themselves without permission and came, and you have them on lock down. What you want to do is start a playtime, something lite, and if they have a favorite toy, like a vibrator, starting running it up and down there leg, then whisper into there ear, you punishment for cumming with out permission is this, we will not be using this toy in playtime for the next 2 months, and toss it to the floor or lock it in a draw.

It sounds mean, but guess what, you corrected the problem, but it also gives you something that you can reward with too, as a training tool. Yuppers we are mean bad asses. That's why we wear leather, and we take toys away from helpless slaves.

Also if by some dumb luck, you have the perfect slave, and they never screw up, you can use the above and revere it for rewards. For example, you come home, the house is perfect as always, the welcome home rituals perfect as always, dam, this is getting me sick :p so you call for a lite playtime. This time you work your slave up to the point there begging for release, then you reach into the draw, and pull out a new toy as a reward. You show it and give it to them and you finish them off with it.

Ok, next, i'll get into the deep seated problems
 

slavegirl4u

Banned
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Mar 11, 2016
149
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New England USA
Ok I am a slave not a sub only but a slave so I would like to shed some light on what a slave desires in a Master. For me it is not someone to beat me into submission or make me afraid so I have to submit. It is a virtual relationship or mutual care and trust and when the slave knows her Master cares for and about her and then she too cares about him she will want to submit so she will please him not because she has to. Just keep that in mind that the level of submission through mutual care and trust is such a deeper level then being made to submit. As a new Dom if you learn this early you will have amazing relationships with your slave.
 

Domina Tia

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Apr 4, 2016
15
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Charlotte, NC
Interested

Ok, the next fews posts, I don't want to give the subs heart attacks, and have them call protective services on me, so I'm taking it off public posting, it's going to be dealing more with Master/slave relationships, and control, I know PC your game, and I know Green your interested too, anybody else, speak up.

I am interested as well
 

Ares

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Apr 1, 2016
19
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Yes MasterMichaelNY, it seems that quite are few of us interested in what you are saying.

Please don't take offence though as it is not in any way intended, but I feel I must make a couple of remarks.

You have a lot of really good information in your posts, but I feel that a caveat is required, since you speak so authoritatively. Newbies need to be aware that these are purely YOUR opinions and that there are a wide range of equally valid viewpoints that may not agree with yours.

Please understand, this is NOT meant as criticism, but as clarification for those new to the lifestyle.

Thank you.

Ares
 

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