Are the vanilla folk getting kinkier?

[Doctor Pervert]

I overheard a curious remark in the cafeteria the other day, "oh yeah, who doesn't like a good spanking now and again?" It was a female voice from a group of students of various ages and sexes, I don't simply mean male and female.
It wasn't just me that overheard, a few other staff members at my table variously rolled their eyes, chuckled or nodded.
So what does this mean, is spanking considered a fairly common mainstream activity now, has it always been or is this a post "50 Shades" phenomena?

 

[nina]

I feel more than the 50 shades, it is the internet due to which both, the number of people practicing BDSM and the number of vanilla people being more aware, accepting and even crossing over to incorporate some kink in their lives are increasing fast. And the same applies to spanking particularly because not only is it one of the simpler and more common kinks but also because it has been a known term in the vanilla world too imo. Another reason that comes to my mind is that people are more open and less hesitant to discuss these things publicly now than earlier and again this could be due to availability of information through the internet and greater awareness.

 

[J91]

I think it's a mixture of some of the aspects mentioned above.

Firstly, 50 shades definitely brought kink more into the mainstream eye, and paved the way for individuals to explore/incorporate kink into their everyday sex lives. Obviously, it's a terrible representation of what BDSM actually is, however, it's done a lot in terms of normalising kink. Spanking is the most common form of kink, but seeing as though people are now more aware of extreme sexual play, somehow it makes spanking more acceptable and less of a taboo.

Secondly, I think the advancement of technology is a large factor. We now have faster WiFi speeds, faster 4g, and more handheld devices to browse the Internet. This allows for people to explore porn sites much more than before, but also gives access to anonymous websites (such as this one) to be able to safely explore kink.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Ok so really this is sounding like a kind of "perfect storm" of events coinciding to bring kink to the masses.
Of course as mentioned if they are expecting a world of 50 shades they will be rather surprised at what they find!
Still for spanking to have reached the level of acceptable cafeteria conversation must be a good thing in general right, or does it mean we are about to be invaded by a hoard of ill-informed newbies?
Oh wait... lol

 

[subzzzero]

I think as a whole with the social connectivity people are learning more and have all the info needed right at their finger tips. Also aside from the 50 shades, lots of other books and movies have taken on the kink life or some softcore form of it. I also think as a society we are more accepting of different life choices, think back not long ago gay and lesbian was almost treated as taboo, or at the very least ignored and hidden. Now with that and transgender and how freely people can almost instantly share their beliefs and lifestye choices with anyone connected to their social media i think its just more accepting of choices all around. so now when hearing that office coworker got tied up isn't an "oh no" its an "oh really tell me more"

 

[nina]

I do feel more information is available to newbies now than ever before to be better informed about kinks. I also think 50 shades is being given more credit for bringing kinks to mainstream than it should, as I have seen mainstream tv shows and movies show a few kink scenes, like those crime and detective shows (in fact even SATC tv series) have always had an episode or two involving people from fictitious kink dungeons, enough for teenage viewers (like I was then..lol) to realise kink is a thing and this is before fifty shades. Also as far as I know fifty shades is a fan fiction written after the twilight series, and that imo is the worst book I ever read

 

[J91]

@nina both Twilight and 50 Shades have competition for that top spot of the worst book. I think 50 Shades has the edge.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I recall when 50 came out one evening in a hotel as I sat on the balcony sipping wine the sub I was with was just inside the door reading me her "highlights" while laughing raucously until she actually fell off the bed. I never did bother with more than a quick skim after that...

 

[nina]

@nina both Twilight and 50 Shades have competition for that top spot of the worst book. I think 50 Shades has the edge.

Now I can only imagine as I have never read 50 shades and there's a back story to why. Now I can watch movies of the romance genre at times if they are good but I generally don't enjoy reading books of that genre (with the exception of Gone with the Wind and maybe a couple more), So when twilight, the book was the new buzz, one of my friends just handed it to me and was very persuasive that I should read it in spite of me telling her it was not a genre I usually read. I still remember how I skipped parts while reading and somehow completed the book. Fast forward a couple of years and 50 shades was the new buzz and since I was already aware of the actual BDSM by then, reading excerpts and reviews of the book available on media made me realise it wasn't a well written book and I did not want to read it. But again, another friend tried to hand me over a copy of 50 shades and suggesting I should read it, it was a deja vu moment but this time I was older and wiser..lol and I did not read it saving myself from a potential migraine..lol

 

[kaylessa]

Thread resurrection incoming.

I guess the "vanilla people" aren't changing, it's only the acceptance changing. I believe probably everyone has his/her kinks, but most people were neglecting them because they thought it's "not right" to do so. It still is for some kinks like being into minors (real minors I mean, not DDlg play). But most kinks lost their "not right" flag and thus are much more acceptable thus resulting in people actually trying out their kinks.

But then again it's just my 2 cents here.

 

[thatsecretplace]

It is a trend I have been noticing in porn. Some things that are standard in what people consider 'regular porn' now, used to be a niche interest. You had to buy different dvds or vhs tapes for it. So even the porn you see currently on tv stations dedicated to adult content (which I consider regular or mainstream) seem to be much rougher and harder.

 

[kaylessa]

It is a trend I have been noticing in porn.

Yes, porn is probably a good mesurement for general acceptance. If it's popular in porn, it's accepted. If it's niche in porn it's shady. And last but not least if it's not in (mainstream) porn, you should probably only tell close friends if you like the kink in question.

Shemale porn is a good example. When I was younger, it didn't really exist (at least to my knowledge), but now it seems to be much more accepted.

 

[MissKubo]

To the original question over spanking, I came to notice growing up my father would regularly give my mom an affectionate smack on the backside, and non too gently either, so I always thought it was kind of normal. I certainly never considered it being in any way kinky until I was far later into my teens by which time I was a lot further into my self-discovery. By that time, I wanted my own spankings from a romantic partner to be far harder and more frequent. I've had boyfriends that never thought to slap my backside and others that have done it seemingly out of habit. My husband enjoys giving me a good spank or two, normally while I'm trying to concentrate on cleaning or getting dinner.

I got really worried when 50 Shades came out, particularly when it was the other moms at pre-school passing it around. My main fears were either vanillas getting themselves hurt, physically or emotionally, by something they didn't understand, or else it giving them a completely false representation of a lifestyle I cherished (yeah, that one came true) so they'd either think they got it and invade the scene or else those committed to such a lifestyle would be opened to more fear or ridicule

 

[Doctor Pervert]

I remember in the year following the release of the first book a whole swag of curious newbies flooding onto all the boards and forums. Most took one look at what was really going on and never came back. But there were also others who seemed to think it was just another way to find a partner and started with pickup lines, it was all very odd for a while...

 

[IzzAvenged]

You know, I never read the books or saw the movies....

I suppose that I was turned off by the hype.

Anyways - to the original point. Are the vanillas getting more kinky?

I would say they are not. (The following is OPINION) The percentage of sexually active people into kink is increasing (in no small part because of the internet with the free, instant and stigma/judgement free availability of increasingly extreme pornography) but there are still plenty of plain ol missionary in a locked bedroom with the lights off types out there.

In my experience, regular porn viewers tend to be more kink-adventurous. And we are all guilty of spending hours or weeks viewing increasingly 'intense' porn until we hit a wall and have to reset back to normal or reasonable.

One segment to watch out for (both men and women) are the sexually inexperienced and avid porn viewers. These people often see an act and think it is no big deal. Consider the Bound Gang Bangs and Public Disgrace of Kink. An inexperienced kinkster could easily think that these acts are daily activities when, in reality, they take hours or weeks to plan and safely execute.

An example, one night, I mistakenly told a man I was dating about a rather fun activity I had been involved in. Now, this was a special occassion and had been planned out with some very well trusted people and it was AWESOME. The man I told thought "Oh, that sounds like fun, she is totally into it, let me call the guys over and ________'

It put me in the uncomfortable position of having to completely stop a game and I was so uncomfortable I wound up calling a friend to come pick me up because I didn't feel comfortable leaving alone.

And that guy was pissed at me for embarassing him.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

This is definitely a common conception with a lot of kink newbies or kink curious vanilla's. The idea that if you are kinky you are into every kink and always ready and willing to go.
You see this played out all the time especially with new doms in the way they treat and approach subs, it often presumes that all subs are submissive to everyone and will do anything they are instructed. Then they get all offended and often abusive when the sub rejects or ignores them.
Maybe this is another one of those instances where a little knowledge is dangerous, that in fact things like 50 shades and the more general availability of kinky porn has given people an awareness of kink but no real understanding.

 

[IzzAvenged]

This is definitely a common conception with a lot of kink newbies or kink curious vanilla's. The idea that if you are kinky you are into every kink and always ready and willing to go.
You see this played out all the time especially with new doms in the way they treat and approach subs, it often presumes that all subs are submissive to everyone and will do anything they are instructed. Then they get all offended and often abusive when the sub rejects or ignores them.
Maybe this is another one of those instances where a little knowledge is dangerous, that in fact things like 50 shades and the more general availability of kinky porn has given people an awareness of kink but no real understanding.

Yes.

I think it is safe to say that every person reading this has masterbated to a Public Disgrace video. We each probably have a favorite.

I, personally, will admit to fantasizing about being "the girl" in pretty much every PD video I have seen - but to even attempt to stage a scene like that...

There is an encyclopedia of knowledge required to safely bind someone. A host of security men to protect the participants. Written (and videoed, apparently) consent (the pre and post interviews aren't there to tickle our fun parts)

 

[raenef]

Isn't changing what is acceptable common?

Be back in time we have Greeks, Roman, Christianity, 20th century, internet

The internet was made by nerds only for 1 reason

 

[IzzAvenged]

Isn't changing what is acceptable common?

Be back in time we have Greeks, Roman, Christianity, 20th century, internet

The internet was made by nerds only for 1 reason

I think what is 'socially acceptable' is not in the scope of the original question.

And, yes, if all the porn disappeared off of the internet, there would only be one website - bringbacktheporn dot org. Dot org because it wouldn't be about profit, it woukd be about sharing the message.

 

[kaylessa]

And that guy was pissed at me for embarassing him.

Hahaha... what a jerk.

I, personally, will admit to fantasizing about being "the girl" in pretty much every PD video I have seen - but to even attempt to stage a scene like that...

I can relate. While I fantasize a lot about those videos, I'd never actually play in such a scene. It's not that I don't value what those girls are. It's just that I wouldn't have the guts or the will to get myself into it.

I also fantasize about being drugged and prisoned by somebody, then taken into sex slavery. Still I wouldn't ever play such a scene.