Beginner dom tips

[Femdom?]

Hello! so im relativley new to being a dom hence my username and i would like some tips since i recently got into a BDSM relationship with my gf of three months (shes a sub brat if that helps) we cant really do much yet since were long distance and im new but she has a bit more experience then me


-Thanks in advance!

 

[subzzzero]

I know you’re new but this is a super vague question. What tips are you looking for? I mean ideally it sounds like you have yet to even do any real research in bdsm in general and more specifically your roles and hers. She might be of some help to lend you some pointers to how she feels. Why she wants to do it. What kinks and limits she has. Find out the why for her. Also know the risks involved with any kinks you two plan to explore prior to actually exploring. Do some Research online. There are lots of good subjects in posts here. You can check fetlife as well for kink specific listings. Try to connect with locals at munches and meets, this will give you access to experience and possibly mentoring on both sides of the dynamic. You might even be so lucky as to see some dungeon 101 nights or demos of all sorts that really helps one to learn. Ideally you’re a fresh 18 with a long ways to go. But if you’re willing to put the time and effort in then you can be in there with the best of them. Safe sane consensual.

 

[Femdom?]

I know you’re new but this is a super vague question. What tips are you looking for? I mean ideally it sounds like you have yet to even do any real research in bdsm in general and more specifically your roles and hers. She might be of some help to lend you some pointers to how she feels. Why she wants to do it. What kinks and limits she has. Find out the why for her. Also know the risks involved with any kinks you two plan to explore prior to actually exploring. Do some Research online. There are lots of good subjects in posts here. You can check fetlife as well for kink specific listings. Try to connect with locals at munches and meets, this will give you access to experience and possibly mentoring on both sides of the dynamic. You might even be so lucky as to see some dungeon 101 nights or demos of all sorts that really helps one to learn. Ideally you’re a fresh 18 with a long ways to go. But if you’re willing to put the time and effort in then you can be in there with the best of them. Safe sane consensual.

your not wrong in terms of research and stuff i have just started to research and discuss this stuff with my partner its a lot to take in and im trying to find some good websites to begin with ive tried fetlife and got intimidated by the layout of the website as for meetups and munches, id go to one if i could but that would suspicious on my part . i figured this website would be a good place to get some advice from people who are more experienced then me (ill continue searching and looking) i think tips to give someone who's new to the BDSM scene in general? if that makes sense

 

[Doctor Pervert]

i think tips to give someone who's new to the BDSM scene in general?

This is quite a good place to start. Here's a few of my top tips for anyone getting started in BDSM.

• Don't be impatient, BDSM and kink in general is a big universe, it takes time to gain some understanding.
• Don't trust any one person or source of information, there is a lot of crap advice out there so double and triple check.
• Start off slowly, try things out in a neutral setting rather during play time. Tying ropes, using clamps and so on may seem simple but you need to understand them and their use properly first.
• Accept feedback for what it is and don't take criticism to heart. When you're learning mistakes will happen, this is just the nature of any kind of new activity.
• Always play safe, keep your play area clear of trip and other hazards and ensure your toys are clean and in good condition prior to use.
• Consent, consent, consent. During play it is often easy to get carried away with things, be sure at all times that you are both still ok with the situation. Submissives by their very nature will sometimes try to push on despite being very unhappy with a situation. Keep checking on their true state of mind. On the flip side, don't allow a sub to push you into doing something you're not happy with either. Topping from the bottom is real and happens.
• Just because you've seen something done on a video doesn't mean it's safe to try for you. A lot of online BDSM porn is staged under controlled conditions with very experienced performers and is not meant as instructional content.
• Finally, BDSM and kink should be fun and enjoyable. If you're not finding you enjoy it, if things are making you uncomfortable say so. It's not going to be for everyone and if it's not don't let a partner pressure you into it. Our mantra is always, Safe, Sane, Consensual.

 

[Merlin]

Very good points from Droptokon

What i want to add is , remember there is nothing wrong with asking your gf about things, especially if she has more experience.

And for everything, communication is key

 

[subzzzero]

Im curious what you meant by your comment. Why would attending munches look “suspicious”?

 

[Femdom?]

Im curious what you meant by your comment. Why would attending munches look “suspicwe

Well I can't drive yet and my parents don't really know that I'm into bdsm yet so I'd have to tell them that I'm attending one (they'd most likely pry for more info about it) my mom would tell how dangerous it is and prevent me from going

 

[Merlin]

They tend to be on neutral ground and no need to tell anyone in general, but i understand your point

What is your gf saying to what you do so far?

 

[Femdom?]

They tend to be on neutral ground and no need to tell anyone in general, but i understand your point

What is your gf saying to what you do so far?

Nothing that bad yet since she that bad yet I do kinda feel bad about it tbh since she's more experienced in bdsm then me she'll occaisnly be a brat and stuff so it ain't that bad its just hard to come up with funishments when shes far away...