CONSENT is Key

[KpopSlut]

So I just wanted to take a second and post about some of my experiences since posting my (admittedly slutty) tit torture pictures earlier.

I've had many messages since then. A few have been wonderful, and have led to great friendships that may be growing into more.

But then there have been the messages that were...not like that. I have had MANY men message me and demand things from me like they own me. News flash, just because I lean towards Sub...that does not mean that every dom in the world owns me or can task me without my permission and consent.

BDSM is supposed to be, above all else, safe, sane, and consensual. It must be. If you take away the consent (with the exclusion of consensual non-consent...which you still need to consent to), there is little left to separate BDSM from toxic, abusive relationships.

Doms, let me let you in on a little secret. The most important job you have as a Dom is to make your sub feel safe. A safe sub will be more trusting, and more willing to push their limits for you. You won't see true submission until you build that trust FIRST.

BDSM is not about messaging some sub who posted her tits all bound up online and immediately demanding she task for you. That is not what this community stands for. I've only been here a couple days and even I know that much.

If you see something you like, and the sub posted a way to message them, of course it's okay to message....but dont just immediately order them around.

ASK them what their likes are
ASK them what their Dislikes are
ASK them what their limits are
ASK them if they're looking for just tasks, or longer term play
ASK them about their availability and schedule
ASK them about their toys and supplies
And for the love of god...
ASK them if they are even interested!

When a sub feels listened to, taken care of, and they feel safe they will be MUCH more likely to fully submit. It will be a much more enjoyable experience for BOTH of you, I promise. Put the work in and you won't regret it.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. LOL

Admins, I wasn't sure where to put this...so feel free to move it if you believe it belongs somewhere else. ❤

 

[pmme_yourfork]

Everything you wrote: hell yes!
I'm only adding that the amount of horny guys looking for a quick fap in the internet is here a bit lower than in other platforms, but still very real. Posting about consent probably does not reach them.
I have a lil thread with chats from guys that messaged me thinking I'm a girl sub.

Way to horny guys, that want to dominate me thinking im female. WTF

So, A while ago, during a nice short lil Teamviewer controll session, i posted a nice lil message on the profile of a "at the time" playmate with another users account, see here: https://www.kinktalk.com/talk/members/kinkyslut22.63247/#profile-post-27950 Since then, no less than 4 Guys...

www.kinktalk.com

 

[subdream]

Doms, let me let you in on a little secret. The most important job you have as a Dom is to make your sub feel safe. A safe sub will be more trusting, and more willing to push their limits for you. You won't see true submission until you build that trust FIRST.

You can't say this one loud enough. It's the key principle behind BDSM. Without trust, it's fear. And fear leads to abuse.

 

[KpopSlut]

Everything you wrote: hell yes!
I'm only adding that the amount of horny guys looking for a quick fap in the internet is here a bit lower than in other platforms, but still very real. Posting about consent probably does not reach them.
I have a lil thread with chats from guys that messaged me thinking I'm a girl sub.

Way to horny guys, that want to dominate me thinking im female. WTF

So, A while ago, during a nice short lil Teamviewer controll session, i posted a nice lil message on the profile of a "at the time" playmate with another users account, see here: https://www.kinktalk.com/talk/members/kinkyslut22.63247/#profile-post-27950 Since then, no less than 4 Guys...

www.kinktalk.com

I love it! This is the one that really pushed me over the edge. Didn't even wait for me to accept the chat before trying to task me.

 

[KpopSlut]

You can't say this one loud enough. It's the key principle behind BDSM. Without trust, it's fear. And fear leads to abuse.

EXACTLY. And I had the sense to know enough to say no, but I worry so much about those who are completely new to kink and think that to be a good sub they have to obey everything. That's not it at all. Your Dom should take care of you and make sure your needs are met. If they don't check in and get that consent, it can so quickly become abusive.

 

[KpopHubby]

So I just wanted to take a second and post about some of my experiences since posting my (admittedly slutty) tit torture pictures earlier.

I've had many messages since then. A few have been wonderful, and have led to great friendships that may be growing into more.

But then there have been the messages that were...not like that. I have had MANY men message me and demand things from me like they own me. News flash, just because I lean towards Sub...that does not mean that every dom in the world owns me or can task me without my permission and consent.

BDSM is supposed to be, above all else, safe, sane, and consensual. It must be. If you take away the consent (with the exclusion of consensual non-consent...which you still need to consent to), there is little left to separate BDSM from toxic, abusive relationships.

Doms, let me let you in on a little secret. The most important job you have as a Dom is to make your sub feel safe. A safe sub will be more trusting, and more willing to push their limits for you. You won't see true submission until you build that trust FIRST.

BDSM is not about messaging some sub who posted her tits all bound up online and immediately demanding she task for you. That is not what this community stands for. I've only been here a couple days and even I know that much.

If you see something you like, and the sub posted a way to message them, of course it's okay to message....but dont just immediately order them around.

ASK them what their likes are
ASK them what their Dislikes are
ASK them what their limits are
ASK them if they're looking for just tasks, or longer term play
ASK them about their availability and schedule
ASK them about their toys and supplies
And for the love of god...
ASK them if they are even interested!

When a sub feels listened to, taken care of, and they feel safe they will be MUCH more likely to fully submit. It will be a much more enjoyable experience for BOTH of you, I promise. Put the work in and you won't regret it.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. LOL

Admins, I wasn't sure where to put this...so feel free to move it if you believe it belongs somewhere else. ❤

Love this

 

[subzzzero]

I love it! This is the one that really pushed me over the edge. Didn't even wait for me to accept the chat before trying to task me.

The member this kik is tied to is quite active here too. So the chances this has worked with less knowledgable and less experienced subs is strong. Im
Glad you put him in his place. It’s amazing how someone will shift their words and make excuses for their behavior.

What gets me is his defense was I was only giving a single task since that happens here. Then it switched to are you on Omegle. Then at the end he was like I lost a good sub here today.

NO you didn’t lose a good sub. You made an ass of yourself got called on it and then got denied. It’s like in the end he was still oblivious.

Anyways well done on putting him in his place. I wish all subs would be strong about saying no and calling guys on their bullshit.

 

[subdream]

NO you didn’t lose a good sub. You made an ass of yourself got called on it and then got denied. It’s like in the end he was still oblivious.

Yeah, he didn't lose a good sub because he never had one in the first place. You only have a sub if they give themselves to you, which did not happen. And in this case it's obvious why.

 

[MistressStella]

The whole thing was cringe to read... Hopefully people take notes

 

[herpderp42]

The whole thing was cringe to read... Hopefully people take notes

Sorry to disappoint you but the people who 'should' read it are unlikely to do so.