Daddy dom, dom/master but also a sadist?

[Vampiric_Lust]

Hi all, I wanted to know if it is normal that a daddy dom, general dom/master to be a sadist as well?
I have had a few long distance relationships that were online and the guy is a daddy dom and a sadist and it was a ddlg relationship.
They were caring, sweet and supportive but also sadistic and cruel, encouraged me to be self destructive and self harm.

Are they just narcissistic/abusive or do they enjoy me being in pain? Can someone explain what they like about being a sadist? Is a sexual sadist/David the same thing?

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Hi all, I wanted to know if it is normal that a daddy dom, general dom/master to be a sadist as well?
I have had a few long distance relationships that were online and the guy is a daddy dom and a sadist and it was a ddlg relationship.
They were caring, sweet and supportive but also sadistic and cruel, encouraged me to be self destructive and self harm.

Are they just narcissistic/abusive or do they enjoy me being in pain? Can someone explain what they like about being a sadist? Is a sexual sadist/David the same thing?

In the world of kink there is no "normal", the sadistic daddy/doms are out there yes and so are the plain pampering ones and a whole range in between.
Sadists simply derive pleasure from inflicting pain or seeing others in pain. It is not uncommon for sadists to also be masochists who enjoy hurting themselves as well as others. Its really all pretty complicated and variable, in my experience there is certainly no such thing as a typical sadist or masochist for that matter.

I think what you need to do is work out what you want, not try to be what someone else wants. If the self destructive, self harm stuff wasn't something you wanted or consented to why did you do it? If it was then work out if it something you actually control or if it is controlling you, by this I mean was/is self harm a coping mechanism that you are compelled to do or is it something you actually like to do?
This may not be something you can untangle quickly but you need to understand yourself before you let others decide what you should do. And thats not to say that won't evolve either, you will almost certainly add things to your like list as you go.
A huge part of the submissive psyche is the want to please, because of this its essential you know how to tell the difference between doing something that you are ok with and doing something only to please the Dom.

 

[Vampiric_Lust]

Self harming has always been about feeling relief, a way to punish myself and for control, it is a coping mechanism for me. It has never been about getting attention even a minority of people would do it for attention unfortunately.
I am submissive and a masochist and a little and I will only ever fit those roles. I do like self harming because I like pain, I'm used to it.
I know men/women might fit many roles in the kink community as well, so I'm just trying to understand particular roles specifically the master/owner/sadist roles.
I should probably learn more about the roles I fit.

 

[subzzzero]

i suggest to put less focus in the identity and titles and more into the actual qualities you seek in a relationship. Any one can be anything or any mix of things. for example some doms who dont identify as a daddy dom will still have traits of one, such as being more soft or extensive intimate aftercare, rules and guidance etc. you'll find the best match for yourself when you first figure out your own needs and expectations and then apply them to your search of a new partner. A sadist isnt a role specific to any other role. i have a friend who identifies as little and sadist. So just find what you like and make it clear during negotiations. good luck

 

[Vampiric_Lust]

Already know what I want.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Already know what I want.

You may do but as subzzzero said you won't pick that up simply from a title or description. The qualities you're looking for will only become clear once you get to know someone better.
Many supposed Doms will demand you submit to them before they will tell you anything about themselves. This is a huge red flag, you should never commit to anyone in any way until you first discuss your wants and needs as well as his.

 

[Vampiric_Lust]

I'm not everyone's sub, little. I'm not a whore either. I know what type of relationship that I want, the roles I fit and I will go after what I want.

 

[Sylens]

It's reassuring to know that there are compatible partners out there, I'm a 22 yo male and I'm new to the community, but I've been so confused because I didn't fit any label perfectly, like others have said that many are a mix. I identify as a Sadistic Master/Dom but I'm also a daddy Dom lol. I didn't know who I had to look for, either a sub, a slave, a masochist, a little or a pet? Now I know that I need my babygirl to be all of it.

 

[Abhilasha]

I can be your lil submissive sir. I am looking for a sadist dom. I will be perfect sir. You will be my master. You can punish me sir. Please read my status sir.

 

[little masochist]

Hi all, I wanted to know if it is normal that a daddy dom, general dom/master to be a sadist as well?
I have had a few long distance relationships that were online and the guy is a daddy dom and a sadist and it was a ddlg relationship.
They were caring, sweet and supportive but also sadistic and cruel, encouraged me to be self destructive and self harm.

Are they just narcissistic/abusive or do they enjoy me being in pain? Can someone explain what they like about being a sadist? Is a sexual sadist/David the same thing?

Answering your query in order of the questions

1) anyone can be anything they want and put a label on it. ....I know a guy that claims “I’m a sadist” but the only “pain” he gives is stabbing his partner with his dick inside of them (basically: a rough fuck)..That makes my face twist up. Why? Because I have a preconceived idea of what a sadist should be.

2) a sadist is a narcissist. But that’s me having an opinion. They want it their way.. they want you to be their puppet on a string and say that they are the center of your universe. They are training you to rely on them. And the rules? The rules are theirs, now. You have no rules except what they allow. That’s narcissistic.

3) a true sadist is loyal to their beliefs. Their beliefs will be your lesson #1 of what is expected of you. They define themselves on their likes. Wants...and wonts.. you will know in the first 5 minutes what they like. It’s your job to ask as many questions as you can before negotiations begin.

4) sadism is sadism. You will believe what you want to believe... there are so many variables a sadist weighs in their own mind. To find out what (or how) they define themselves, you’re going to need to ask them.

 

[Merlin]

sadist
a person who gets pleasure, sometimes sexual, by being cruel to or hurting another person

narcissist
someone who has too much admiration for himself or herself


There is really no connection at all between them ...
(And a clinical narcissist would be on another level even)

 

[little masochist]

sadist
a person who gets pleasure, sometimes sexual, by being cruel to or hurting another person

narcissist
someone who has too much admiration for himself or herself


There is really no connection at all between them ...
(And a clinical narcissist would be on another level even)

I think you should please read my post. I said “that’s me having an opinion”

not once did I claim anything other than what *i* have witnessed.. my opinion only.

 

[Merlin]

I think you should please read my post. I said “that’s me having an opinion”

not once did I claim anything other than what *i* have witnessed.. my opinion only.

Fair point, but i wanted to point out that your connection there is not really following the definition and more connected with the kind of dom you personally seam to attract

Especially for new people i would find it not optimal to make this connection

Even more so if i think of clinical (!!) narcissists, that are, in my eyes, a danger for 99.9% of new subs (to many bad experience with subs that get out of relationships like that with some serious abuse and menthal issues )

 

[little masochist]

Fair point, but i wanted to point out that your connection there is not really following the definition and more connected with the kind of dom you personally seam to attract

Especially for new people i would find it not optimal to make this connection

Even more so if i think of clinical (!!) narcissists, that are, in my eyes, a danger for 99.9% of new subs (to many bad experience with subs that get out of relationships like that with some serious abuse and menthal issues )

Having had made that mistake myself when I was learning...

I know where you’re coming from. I meant no disrespect nor did I intend to downplay, but that’s a connection I make due to my experiences.

thank you for clarifying.. it’s appreciated

 

[PunisherH]

Hi all, I wanted to know if it is normal that a daddy dom, general dom/master to be a sadist as well?
I have had a few long distance relationships that were online and the guy is a daddy dom and a sadist and it was a ddlg relationship.
They were caring, sweet and supportive but also sadistic and cruel, encouraged me to be self destructive and self harm.

Are they just narcissistic/abusive or do they enjoy me being in pain? Can someone explain what they like about being a sadist? Is a sexual sadist/David the same thing?

I'm actually one of them, i want to hurt ur body but take care of u at the same time. I like to kiss and massage the bidy part that i spanked or whiped