Discipline, the other D of BDSM

[nina]

Discipline in BDSM is often misconstrued and thought of as either synonymous to punishment, funishment or some very high protocol rules and structures which are impractical for most casual dynamics.

But I would simply call it a form of accountability in a power exchange which can be as simple or as complicated as people want. Unlike punishments which are generally negative consequences for undesired behaviour, and funishments which I like to think of as a roleplay, discipline is generally the manifestation of the dynamic itself in practice where the Dom gets the authority over the sub to make them behave or act in ways desired by the Dom and take any decisions which would enable the implementation of those behaviours/acts more effectively and hold the sub accountable for any lapse.

When used with positive (or even negative) reinforcements, it can really be a powerful accountability tool for shaping behaviour/habits or towards accomplishing certain life goals (e.g. fitness) for those lacking motivation or self discipline.

So kinktalkers, what's your take on discipline and how do you differentiate it from punishments? What are some effective but less time consuming ways of incorporating discipline in the dynamic according to you?

Do you use it in your dynamic? How? Has it helped you? Share your experiences on this less talked about D of BDSM.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

This is a really deep topic.

Let's start with the dictionary definitions;

1. the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience.
2. a branch of knowledge, typically one studied in higher education.

I guess for many people the bDsm definition is the first, training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, the punishment bit being perhaps debatable. I would posit it is entirely possible and often times preferable to train without resorting to punishment. And this is where the second definition gains a little traction, a branch of knowledge.

Somewhere between the two is where I kind of tend to sit, training someone to accept or enact certain ways of behaving and doing things. Knowledge, after all is an understanding of how something works, or is done. Any time you teach or instruct you impart knowledge, so in the BDSM context discipline could be said to be teaching (training) someone in the knowledge (or discipline) of how to behave.

And this is the beauty of the kinky BDSM world, this is my interpretation, it won't be everyone's, it might not be many's but some others will recognize this and understand.

For these reasons I have gone with the Accountability/Answerability option of the poll. In my methodology I will most often put the onus on the sub to take on and complete set tasks, providing instruction and guidance but relying on them to complete the activity, being accountable for success or failure.

 

[nina]

@droptokon, that's a very fresh take on the topic

 

[Doctor Pervert]

@droptokon, that's a very fresh take on the topic

A much simpler definition that occurred to me after I wrote this is that "a discipline" ,can be a strict adherence to a specific way of doing things.

For instance, someone could be highly disciplined in the art of bonsai. Since your question asks what we feel is the most central aspect of discipline I guess that defines mine quite well.

 

[Merlin]

For me personally the central aspect here is that that sub wants to submit, has the discipline to do so, less a factor or training or skill

Disciplined as in someone following orders without straying from them

But interesting how many things can be in the one word

 

[nina]

For me personally the central aspect here is that that sub wants to submit, has the discipline to do so, less a factor or training or skill

Yeah self discipline, makes total sense. I like your perspective on this

 

[Damokles]

Discipline is the will to want it.

Punishment has nothing to do with discipline directly, but rather represents the consequence for the wrong decision made by the person I want to condition.
Conditioning works very well with reward and punishment. Similar to what you do with dogs, but is the dog just well trained or disciplined?

Prisoners who have been badly mistreated also follow the rules, but not out of discipline but out of fear.
I think discipline is the will to do something, not because the other person says so, but because I want to do it for them. Because I want to do it on my own initiative.

So discipline is something that comes from the person themselves, I can only help them reinforce it.
This happens with the body's hormones and neurotransmitters. Or simply put, with feelings of happiness and satisfaction or with discomfort that is intended to make you think. reward and punishment.

Therefore, discipline cannot be equated with punishment.
One is a focus in life and the other is a tool.



Sorry, some of my thoughts are a bit strange, but with some things you should be aware of the small but significant differences or at least try to understand them.

"Just because a word has the same letters doesn't mean it has the same meaning."