Do changing kink habits indicate changing sexuality preferences?

[nina]

The question popped in my mind when I was using my vibrating toothbrush on my clitoris again a couple of weeks back. I decided to combine it with my rabbit vibrator as I felt it would enhance my experience. While I only recently started using the toothbrush, I have been using the rabbit since a while and before that used to use other insertables without any issues. But this time I felt like I wasn't enjoying the rabbit at all, so much so that I wasn't even vaginally wet enough to make the insertion comfortable. However I orgasmed very well using the toothbrush alone. While this could also be because I hadn't been masturbating for a while causing my vaginal opening to be tighter causing the discomfort, however this is now undeniably becoming the direction in which my kink preference seems to be moving where I am not liking insertions as much but am really loving clitoral stimulations. Until now I have always identified myself as heterosexual + bi-curious, but now I am curious as to whether my changing kink preferences indicate anything more than just kink.

While this is just a short personal experience I thought it can apply to many other situations like when straight men like anal. So, I thought it would be a good generic discussion point -

Do changing kink habits indicate changing sexuality preferences? Feel free to share your views on the topic in general and also your personal experiences.

 

[sexyseniorctzn]

I don't think it is showing any change in your sexual preferences. You have just found another favorite toy. As Peter, Paul, and Mary said decades ago, painted wings and giant things make way for other toys. (Puff, The Magic Dragon)

If it feels good, do it. If it feels really good, do it again!

 

[nina]

I don't think it is showing any change in your sexual preferences. You have just found another favorite toy. As Peter, Paul, and Mary said decades ago, painted wings and giant things make way for other toys. (Puff, The Magic Dragon)

If it feels good, do it. If it feels really good, do it again!

Wow, I totally like your take on this, "just found another favourite toy"

Appears so in my case but on a more general note, I think there's always more spectrum to explore sexuality than we consider.
Also trying to discuss if in between kinks and sexuality, does either lead to an inclination towards the other or if they are unrelated and kinks should be just seen as kinks irrespective.
I think more personal experiences can throw some light

 

[kaylessa]

Well, kink does change the way I dream... or at least it did. I was always sure I only like girls and since I discovered that I am in fact female I always thought to be lesbian. That said, I do have fun pushing a dildo in one or both of my holes. In my dreams I'm sometimes used by men, or raped by men, or abducted by men. But while I can enjoy something stuffed inside of me, I can't enjoy the male body. So I guess all those dreams will never come true.

That said, my dreams totally changed since I discovered dildos, only gradually at first but very much in retrospect.

 

[nina]

Very interesting point, sexuality first affected kinks you dreamt about but then after exploring new toys, the kinks in the dreams changed if I interpreted correctly. Makes me feel this is true for most of the kinksters, early in our kink lives we label ourselves and try to conform to the label but slowly we explore more, perceive more and get inspired and our kinks become more diverse, before we know the very labels that defined once are now restricting. Kink preferences seem to be influenced by sexuality but aren't limited by it. Thanks for your input

 

[kaylessa]

Yeah it's a mix. I just discovered that some kinks I'd never have thought of trying are actually appealing. My sexuality and my kink were intertwined from the start though: I discovered my sexuality while playing being abducted and held captive. Well, I was disturbed from the very start, but I like myself the way I am.

 

[andrei]

Can I say all my childhood crossdressing never changed me? Later I never felt like trying.

About toys: my wife seem to hate any toy stmulation and I've tried a lot to bring new games. Bondage worked.

At some point everyone has its own particular pleasure, no worries if something works for another one and not for you.

Hetero or not is not something you learn about yourself or change yourself in school.

 

[kaylessa]

Hetero or not is not something you learn about yourself or change yourself in school.

While that is true, some people take a long while until they discover that their sexual preference is much different. Thus it's not really changing, but quite similar. If I'd find the male body attractive, I'd probably now consider going down on a man. which I would have thought about as impossible only a couple years ago.

 

[nina]

I also feel that while sexuality doesn't change for most, it does evolve or expand with time. The kinks we get attracted to subconsciously are a great way to understand our sexuality, and like kaylessa says both are intertwined.

 

[andrei]

I've updated my kink list frequently because I love to test the waters and every time I 've found a new kink I liked for a short time.

Changing sexuality is not as much as turning gay/straight etc at once but probably accepting bisexuality. And this when you decide to love a new partner, not when have sex with s/he and just compare the genders you've encountered.

Crossed my mind at some point. This is what I would feel if I tried a male partner.

 

[Damokles]

This post is a bit old, but I hope it's okay if I write something more about it.

I was disturbed from the very start, but I like myself the way I am.

First of all, this sentence made me laugh. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful and refreshing.
It made me remember something I tend to forget sometimes.


Back to the topic. I think kinks come from self-exploration and curiosity.
This can lead us to look at and think about ourselves and our surroundings.
Sexuality is no different.
But changing one doesn't have to mean changing the other, but it doesn't have to exclude it either.


And now my brain gets strange again, but I hope you understand what I am saying.
I think when you discover something new for yourself, it's like coming into a new house/castle.
You look around and depending on how curious you are, you look at other rooms (similar themes or connections). You may find them beautiful and interesting, or you may not like them, or they may not be that interesting at the moment.
You may discover a room that is designed in an interesting way, even if you would never have designed your room that way.
You admire it and leave, or you see one thing or another and think, "That might be something for me too".