Does DDLG fit me?

DaughterofAtlas

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 15, 2021
27
9
3
21
I am actually not certain if it does. Maybe a somewhat brief summary of my thinking. I am about at that time where I leave home to go to University, many f my peers can barely wait to get out and stake out life on their own, they yearn for their freedom. I am kinda sad. I feel very comfortable at home, very nurtured. I have a great relationship with my parents. I consider my parents my friends. So that makes me wonder. One of my friends said it is about the stability of the whole situation. Plus she also said that maybe I was to comfortable in a situation where there was always food in the fridge. She is not wrong, however I also find i need the whole mentoring aspect. Long thoughtful discussions.
Just curious about the feedback.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,835
483
Hello and welcome!

What you're describing sounds more like a basic submissiveness, wanting to be looked after and cared for is a big part of the D/s dynamic.

I guess an easy test would be to try and imagine a scenario where you have a relationship with a man you need to call Daddy, how would that feel? DDLG also presumes you behave like a "little girl", again you need to consider how this resonates, can you imagine yourself playing that role?
If this is more about enjoying adult conversation with elders then it's more likely what you actually want is an older (older than you) Dominant.

Plus as your friend noted, it's a pretty sweet deal to keep living at home...
 

DaughterofAtlas

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 15, 2021
27
9
3
21
Hello and welcome!

What you're describing sounds more like a basic submissiveness, wanting to be looked after and cared for is a big part of the D/s dynamic.

I guess an easy test would be to try and imagine a scenario where you have a relationship with a man you need to call Daddy, how would that feel? DDLG also presumes you behave like a "little girl", again you need to consider how this resonates, can you imagine yourself playing that role?
If this is more about enjoying adult conversation with elders then it's more likely what you actually want is an older (older than you) Dominant.

Plus as your friend noted, it's a pretty sweet deal to keep living at home...

Good point, I guess it depends on the situation. It is hard to generalise. Your last sentence "If this is more about enjoying adult conversation with elders then it's more likely what you actually want is an older (older than you) Dominant" is likely accurate. Perhaps I kinda assumed that would also fall under ddlg.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Doctor Pervert

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,835
483
Perhaps I kinda assumed that would also fall under ddlg.
Not at all, it's actually a pretty common thing for female subs (across all ages) especially to prefer older Doms. I think its more about the natural authority that holds. Many seem to find a younger Dom just doesn't inspire that same kind of feeling and find it hard to take them seriously.
 

DaughterofAtlas

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 15, 2021
27
9
3
21
Not at all, it's actually a pretty common thing for female subs (across all ages) especially to prefer older Doms. I think its more about the natural authority that holds. Many seem to find a younger Dom just doesn't inspire that same kind of feeling and find it hard to take them seriously.
I would say that is true.
 

MysticalMadness

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Oct 28, 2020
13
8
3
33
When I was questioning whether or not I was little, someone else who was little asked me to envision a few scenarios.

1. Being given a gentle, caring bath by my caregiver and playing with tub toys. How would I feel? Does it squick me out or make me feel happy?

2. Having someone order for me at restaurants? Again, squick or happy?

3. Things that kids like such as cartoons, kid appropriate shows or movies, coloring, build a bear, etc. How do those things make you feel?

If these things resonate with you, its extremely possible that you are little. Even if they don't, you may be. I've come across similar quotations that basically say "If YOU feel you are little, then you ARE little".
 

DaughterofAtlas

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 15, 2021
27
9
3
21
When I was questioning whether or not I was little, someone else who was little asked me to envision a few scenarios.

1. Being given a gentle, caring bath by my caregiver and playing with tub toys. How would I feel? Does it squick me out or make me feel happy?

2. Having someone order for me at restaurants? Again, squick or happy?

3. Things that kids like such as cartoons, kid appropriate shows or movies, coloring, build a bear, etc. How do those things make you feel?

If these things resonate with you, its extremely possible that you are little. Even if they don't, you may be. I've come across similar quotations that basically say "If YOU feel you are little, then you ARE little".

I would say coloring books,and tub toys would not be my thing. I guess I assumed that because of my age (18) I would still be considered little. As Droptokon said, perhaps it is just generally submissiveness. Although, when I was younger my parents measured my height on a measuring post, and tracked it over the years. That would kinda be curious to have someone do that, not just height, but breast size etc.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,835
483
lthough, when I was younger my parents measured my height on a measuring post, and tracked it over the years. That would kinda be curious to have someone do that, not just height, but breast size etc.
This is something I like to do with subs, and it's quite a common thing.
To me it's a form of control, for many women those kind of details are not something they usually like to give away so having regular, enforced checking sessions can be a way to keep tabs on you. For others it forms a kind of embarrassing or even humiliating experience and that can be part of D/s play also.
 
  • Like
Reactions: subzzzero

MysticalMadness

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Oct 28, 2020
13
8
3
33
Being little isn't a physical thing, although I understand you can be physically small. I know a lot of littles/middles/babygirls that are big and/or tall. Its more of a state of mind. Little doesn't refer to being a teenager either. I have some wonderful blogs on getDare, the sister site of kinktalk, that explain littles, middles, and age players very well.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,835
483
I have some wonderful blogs on getDare, the sister site of kinktalk, that explain littles, middles, and age players very well.
Please feel free to link them here, this is an interesting thread and I'm sure others would appreciate your insights.
 

subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
2,186
1,588
233
All good info above from some good members. I always tend to focus less on titles and more on doing what fits the moment and what each side enjoys. The older caring type dom with a mentor approach and monitoring of things as you suggested can all be a dom with no need for him or you to be DDLg. I see a lot of new subs introduced to kink thinking age makes the sub naturally gravitate to little status. This is not true. I know plenty of 40-50 yrs olds who are full blown onesie, pacifier, sippy cup, cartoons, etc type littles. I also know plenty 18-22yr olds who are some of the most mature knowledgeable high protocol subs one has ever met.

The caring part you seek from a dom type doesnt mean you need a daddy and it also doesnt mean you need to be a little. Try focusing on the things you want and start exploring the roles themselves are less a concern than the actual experiences themselves.

A dom can be any range of subtle soft to hardcore high protocol extreme. they can also be a mix of all of those at various times of need. SO dont limit yourself to one type or title. Explore what appeals to you and youll find your way.
 

DaughterofAtlas

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 15, 2021
27
9
3
21
All good info above from some good members. I always tend to focus less on titles and more on doing what fits the moment and what each side enjoys. The older caring type dom with a mentor approach and monitoring of things as you suggested can all be a dom with no need for him or you to be DDLg. I see a lot of new subs introduced to kink thinking age makes the sub naturally gravitate to little status. This is not true. I know plenty of 40-50 yrs olds who are full blown onesie, pacifier, sippy cup, cartoons, etc type littles. I also know plenty 18-22yr olds who are some of the most mature knowledgeable high protocol subs one has ever met.

The caring part you seek from a dom type doesnt mean you need a daddy and it also doesnt mean you need to be a little. Try focusing on the things you want and start exploring the roles themselves are less a concern than the actual experiences themselves.

A dom can be any range of subtle soft to hardcore high protocol extreme. they can also be a mix of all of those at various times of need. SO dont limit yourself to one type or title. Explore what appeals to you and youll find your way.
Yes, I think a mixture of different things is often the answer.
 

Sklavenhalter

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Dominant
Feb 26, 2018
43
5
8
Yes, I think a mixture of different things is often the answer.
Hallo,

ich habe gerade Deine Gedanken zum Thema DDLG gelesen.
So wie Du das beschreibst klingt mir das nicht nach einem wirklichen Wunsch nach so etwas. Das ist ja fast immer auch mit entsprechenden Verhaltensweisen (spielen mit Puppen/teddys, tragen von Windeln uvm) verbunden.

Daher glaube ich eher, dass es bei Dir mehr um eine starke Hand geht die auch weiterhin die Führung behält, dir Regeln vorgibt, dich Konsequenzen spüren lässt wenn es zb. Im Studium nicht läuft, du unordentlich bist ...

Das ist etwas das ich schon oft erlebt habe und nach dem sich viele sehnen in jeder Phase Ihres Lebens.

Ich habe auch durchaus schon rinihe auf diesem Weg begleitet.
Wenn Du Dich dafür interessierst schreib mir gerne auf kik: sklavenhalter79. Da können wir uns ausführlich darüber unterhalten.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,835
483
Hallo,

ich habe gerade Deine Gedanken zum Thema DDLG gelesen.
As a courtesy I have translated your post below using Google Translate, if any of this seems incorrect please let me know.

Hi,

I've just read your thoughts on DDLG.
The way you describe it doesn't sound like a real desire for something like that. That is almost always associated with appropriate behavior (playing with dolls / teddies, wearing diapers and much more).

Therefore, I tend to believe that you are more about having a strong hand that continues to keep the lead, gives you rules, lets you feel the consequences if it is, for example. Not going well in your studies, you're messy ...

This is something that I have seen many times and that many long for in every phase of their life.

I have already accompanied rinihe on this path.
If you are interested in it, please write to me on kik: sklavenhalter79. We can talk about it in detail there.
 

DaughterofAtlas

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 15, 2021
27
9
3
21
Hallo,

ich habe gerade Deine Gedanken zum Thema DDLG gelesen.
So wie Du das beschreibst klingt mir das nicht nach einem wirklichen Wunsch nach so etwas. Das ist ja fast immer auch mit entsprechenden Verhaltensweisen (spielen mit Puppen/teddys, tragen von Windeln uvm) verbunden.

Daher glaube ich eher, dass es bei Dir mehr um eine starke Hand geht die auch weiterhin die Führung behält, dir Regeln vorgibt, dich Konsequenzen spüren lässt wenn es zb. Im Studium nicht läuft, du unordentlich bist ...

Das ist etwas das ich schon oft erlebt habe und nach dem sich viele sehnen in jeder Phase Ihres Lebens.

Ich habe auch durchaus schon rinihe auf diesem Weg begleitet.
Wenn Du Dich dafür interessierst schreib mir gerne auf kik: sklavenhalter79. Da können wir uns ausführlich darüber unterhalten.

Yes, it is quite possible that I am just looking for leadership.
 

Sklavenhalter

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Dominant
Feb 26, 2018
43
5
8
So you mean rules like time line to be home, rules for learning, control of being tidy and so on?
 

Featured Threads

New Personals