Does DDLG fit me?

[DaughterofAtlas]

So you mean rules like time line to be home, rules for learning, control of being tidy and so on?

It is difficult to just generally answer with yes and no. It can not have a negative impact on the outside world. I am not going to miss any school/university related events. It should also be clear that for events like family gatherings that I want to be there. However in general yes that would be acceptable.

One of the reasons I am looking for a "daddy" is that kinda wish he will view that just as my parents did. I had rules that I had to follow, but I was also allowed to express myself, which I think is the difference to a regular master where his demands always have priority.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

One of the reasons I am looking for a "daddy" is that kinda wish he will view that just as my parents did. I had rules that I had to follow, but I was also allowed to express myself, which I think is the difference to a regular master where his demands always have priority.

This is possibly one of the biggest myths in D/s. That kind of strict, totalitarian "master" idea is very rare, it just isn't a workable thing for most people.
In general most D/s relationships are much closer to the "I had rules that I had to follow, but I was also allowed to express myself" concept. More often than not daily life proceeds as it would for anyone else, you have work, study, family commitments, etc, etc, and so the D/s stuff fits around that.

There may for instance be rules you follow at all times but if these rules impact your ability to participate in society they become unworkable and the relationship won't last. And this is the key to all successful D/s relationships, finding a balance that works.

 

[DaughterofAtlas]

I see. So would that be the difference to a regular sub, and a slave?

 

[MysticalMadness]

It's hard to say.

I have heard many people in the lifestyle say that you are either a slave or a submissive. However, neither in solid form really resonates with me. I am literally somewhere on a spectrum in between. I have some slave tendencies but don't have the drive or personality to be a strict slave such as what you think of when you think of the word slave.

There are so many many many variations and opinions on a defining line. I know people that I personally wouldn't consider them a slave but they consider themselves a slave.

In theory, and on the strictest end of the spectrum, a slave has no rights, no say, and no boundaries. They do whatever their Masters desire when it is desired exactly how it is desired and no other way. However, as droptokon pointed out, that is a huge myth. There is such a thing as a "soft dom" in which they prefer to be kinder and nurture their s-types without resorting to punishment or correction unless it is 100% without a doubt majorly necessary to do so. (That being said, in my experience, no D-type has ever truly enjoyed punishing or correcting their s-type. Someone that likes to cause pain as a sadist does not enjoy punishment. If you find yourself in a position with a D-type that DOES seem to enjoy punishing, there may be something more sinister at play than kink and strictness)

 

[subzzzero]

Ahh the old sub vs slave debate. This seems to really vary by the each persons perception.
Again why I dont focus tooo heavy in the specific titles. It sounds like you have things you enjoy from various roles for various reasons. A dynamic can be whatever both parties wish it to be. Discussion, negotiation, trust, and honesty will get you going in the direction you seek. Let the titles fall to the side.
If you want: XYZ from a dynamic...express that to your potential partner. See how well you both match up and allowing him to see what it is you specifically want can help him decide if hes a good fit. No one has the right to tell you that you cant want things or make specific requests as a sub type. Talk Talk Talk. and dont settle if youre not happy. Also you can always just say " this isnt a good fit i wish to end things" A good dom will respect that/ If they give you shit about it just block them. lol

 

[MysticalMadness]

Ahh the old sub vs slave debate. This seems to really vary by the each persons perception.
Again why I dont focus tooo heavy in the specific titles. It sounds like you have things you enjoy from various roles for various reasons. A dynamic can be whatever both parties wish it to be. Discussion, negotiation, trust, and honesty will get you going in the direction you seek. Let the titles fall to the side.
If you want: XYZ from a dynamic...express that to your potential partner. See how well you both match up and allowing him to see what it is you specifically want can help him decide if hes a good fit. No one has the right to tell you that you cant want things or make specific requests as a sub type. Talk Talk Talk. and dont settle if youre not happy. Also you can always just say " this isnt a good fit i wish to end things" A good dom will respect that/ If they give you shit about it just block them. lol

Adding on to subzzzero with an example: i am an extremely specific type of person.

I am somewhere between sub and slave. I am also a little/middle. I am also a masochist. I am also a sensory deprivation person. I am also a rope bunny.

All of these "titles" or "roles" add up to make me, well, me. So it is completely possible to feel as of there isn't just one specific "role" that you fill, if that makes sense.

 

[Sklavenhalter]

It is difficult to just generally answer with yes and no. It can not have a negative impact on the outside world. I am not going to miss any school/university related events. It should also be clear that for events like family gatherings that I want to be there. However in general yes that would be acceptable.

One of the reasons I am looking for a "daddy" is that kinda wish he will view that just as my parents did. I had rules that I had to follow, but I was also allowed to express myself, which I think is the difference to a regular master where his demands always have priority.

Of course university and family should have priority always. Especially school will also be mentored and best performance is expected.

Personally demands are also a part of your development your Daddy will have an eye on and support it

 

[DaughterofAtlas]

All of these "titles" or "roles" add up to make me, well, me. So it is completely possible to feel as of there isn't just one specific "role" that you fill, if that makes sense.

Yes, in the end it will be very individual.