Dominant failing to show emotion

[Conor_1703]

Is this normal? Why is it every dom/domme out there has a list of demands yet when play dies down and the sub eventually questions why this has happened, they get bombarded with messages about life getting in the way, placing the blame onto the submissive. Submission then flies out the window because you dont feel good enough, you feel guilty and you question everything that you have said...

Surely a d/s relationship should be friendship first play later?

 

[J91]

You're absolutely right. A D/s relationship should have a strong basis in friendship which forms the foundation for the dynamic.

This kind of scenario is typical with someone who has rushed into things headfirst, done all they can in the first few weeks, and then the 'new relationship' spark fizzles out. This is where a dedicated Dom/me should be steering the relationship through lots of communication, guidance and conversations outside of kink. Life does get in the way sometimes, but that's not an excuse to take it out on either party. There are things that can be done to incorporate kink into busy schedules, and if you find that you are being blamed, then you probably don't have have the right Dom/me for you. Start slow with someone, build a solid friendship, get to know them, and then enter a D/s relationship. Not only does it protect your feelings, but it gives you a bit of guarantee that the person is genuine in their approach towards you and won't bail at a moments notice.

In short, no it's not normal, but very typical of an inexperienced or uncommitted Dom/me.

 

[Conor_1703]

You're absolutely right. A D/s relationship should have a strong basis in friendship which forms the foundation for the dynamic.

This kind of scenario is typical with someone who has rushed into things headfirst, done all they can in the first few weeks, and then the 'new relationship' spark fizzles out. This is where a dedicated Dom/me should be steering the relationship through lots of communication, guidance and conversations outside of kink. Life does get in the way sometimes, but that's not an excuse to take it out on either party. There are things that can be done to incorporate kink into busy schedules, and if you find that you are being blamed, then you probably don't have have the right Dom/me for you. Start slow with someone, build a solid friendship, get to know them, and then enter a D/s relationship. Not only does it protect your feelings, but it gives you a bit of guarantee that the person is genuine in their approach towards you and won't bail at a moments notice.

In short, no it's not normal, but very typical of an inexperienced or uncommitted Dom/me.

It was a very solid relationship, up untill this milestone. She pushed soft limits, made me confident in myself, just ticked all the boxes, it's just deteriorated for some reason. I'm the type of submissive that will just do things, like wear plugs ect, just to show off, a sign of wanting attention if you will...