Girlfriend used to be a slave

[S101m]

Hi all,
I’m not really sure what I’m after with this post to be honest. Advice, experiences, thoughts, whatever.

I recently found out my girlfriend used to have a dom/master and I’m not quite sure how to feel about it. I want to start out by saying I’m not a prude and I’m aware everyone has a sexual past and kinks etc.

I’ve been with my girlfriend about 6 months officially now and we recently talked about our kinks and our sexual past. She mentioned how she used to a submissive/slave for a guy. It was quite casual how she mentioned it and I obviously wanted to know what that meant. She is still friends with him, which makes things more complicated for me.

Long story short, she did some amateur modelling while at uni. Just for the fun of it as a bit of a hobby etc, nothing published, not for money. She could have made money from it but she said she didn’t want to do it for that and it would have been impossible to make really money without doing stuff she didn’t want to do (porn). She’s a bit of an exhibitionist (which I love) so she was happy doing nude shoots which ended up being most of what she did.
One of the photographers she worked with suggested some submissive/slave shoots which she enjoyed. She said one thing led to another and she started meeting up with the guy not just for photoshoots, becoming his “slave”.

She said it wasn’t about sex but rather the thrill of being dominated. She’s very happy with nudity so she said she’d spend hours or days, nude being his slave. He was into pet play and humiliation so he’d have her naked on a lead, walking on all fours, barking and humiliating herself, answering the door to delivery men naked, tied up, being played with, playing with herself, being forced to cum etc. she said she enjoyed it.
he also introduced her to a larger group of people and did some play with others. She said she was once “made” to be a nude servant/maid to a party of about 15 people. She mentioned loads of stories and things that took place (all involving her being a naked play thing for others). I assume she thought it wouldn’t bother me.
The “sessions” with this dom/master stopped once she met me. He is much older and although she said 1 session did involve sexual interactions between them, she wasn’t attracted to him like that so it only happened the once. They weren’t about that for her just the domination/submission/humiliation side of things.

They remain friends and we see him (and friends she made through him) fairly often. I assume the friends of his were involved in her ‘play’ with others.

I’m not sure how I feel about seeing him and others knowing that he/they have had this control over her and seen her do these humiliating things.
I’m not sure if I like it or not. She even joked that next time he comes round for dinner or a drink she’ll have to be naked for us.

How should I feel. She’s fucking hot and We get on really well. I love how free she is with nudity and how good she is in bed. But should I call it a day before we get to far down the line and it does start to upset me. For some reason, if it was just a shag or an ex boyfriend it wouldn’t bother me. Does that sound weird?

Help!

 

[subzzzero]

So some of the ways it’s described sound like the guy kinda manipulated her into kink and that sub frenzy new energy kicked in. Him shifting from modeling to let’s do sub slave poses seems like eh prob does that with everyone. That being said. You’re not asking about that part.

She had a kink life prior to you. Most people don’t do kink and then go back to just vanilla. It could be something you ask her about and explore together if it interests you. If you’re not interested in kink then it might not be a great long term match. Or you could consider an open relationship but based on how you wrote this I’m doubting that’s an option.

Either way it all clearly bothers you. So it’s a convo to be had with her. Either let’s explore kink together. Or as simple as I don’t like hearing you joke about serving this guy now that we’re together. Ask if she needs kink or if she’s happy as is now. Or maybe you cannot accept it as is and need to settle things within yourself first. I guess ask yourself even if she is guaranteed not to serve see or fuck him are you ever going to be able to move past it?

Communication is key

 

[Yourkinkpartner]

Hi all,
I’m not really sure what I’m after with this post to be honest. Advice, experiences, thoughts, whatever.

I recently found out my girlfriend used to have a dom/master and I’m not quite sure how to feel about it. I want to start out by saying I’m not a prude and I’m aware everyone has a sexual past and kinks etc.

I’ve been with my girlfriend about 6 months officially now and we recently talked about our kinks and our sexual past. She mentioned how she used to a submissive/slave for a guy. It was quite casual how she mentioned it and I obviously wanted to know what that meant. She is still friends with him, which makes things more complicated for me.

Long story short, she did some amateur modelling while at uni. Just for the fun of it as a bit of a hobby etc, nothing published, not for money. She could have made money from it but she said she didn’t want to do it for that and it would have been impossible to make really money without doing stuff she didn’t want to do (porn). She’s a bit of an exhibitionist (which I love) so she was happy doing nude shoots which ended up being most of what she did.
One of the photographers she worked with suggested some submissive/slave shoots which she enjoyed. She said one thing led to another and she started meeting up with the guy not just for photoshoots, becoming his “slave”.

She said it wasn’t about sex but rather the thrill of being dominated. She’s very happy with nudity so she said she’d spend hours or days, nude being his slave. He was into pet play and humiliation so he’d have her naked on a lead, walking on all fours, barking and humiliating herself, answering the door to delivery men naked, tied up, being played with, playing with herself, being forced to cum etc. she said she enjoyed it.
he also introduced her to a larger group of people and did some play with others. She said she was once “made” to be a nude servant/maid to a party of about 15 people. She mentioned loads of stories and things that took place (all involving her being a naked play thing for others). I assume she thought it wouldn’t bother me.
The “sessions” with this dom/master stopped once she met me. He is much older and although she said 1 session did involve sexual interactions between them, she wasn’t attracted to him like that so it only happened the once. They weren’t about that for her just the domination/submission/humiliation side of things.

They remain friends and we see him (and friends she made through him) fairly often. I assume the friends of his were involved in her ‘play’ with others.

I’m not sure how I feel about seeing him and others knowing that he/they have had this control over her and seen her do these humiliating things.
I’m not sure if I like it or not. She even joked that next time he comes round for dinner or a drink she’ll have to be naked for us.

How should I feel. She’s fucking hot and We get on really well. I love how free she is with nudity and how good she is in bed. But should I call it a day before we get to far down the line and it does start to upset me. For some reason, if it was just a shag or an ex boyfriend it wouldn’t bother me. Does that sound weird?

Help!

Your "fucking hot" line in last para shows that how weak are you for her. I guarantee you that she will cheat on you in future or break up with you if she doesn't feel satisfied even once with you.

Women are only loyal to their emotions. Not anyone else. Considering her past she is not gonna think of having a long term relationship with you at all if you show any sign of weakness even once.

If she being hot is the only reason you are with her then please find someone else. She loves attention ( saying this because of the modelling history you mentioned) and she will get it from other men who are more dominating, fit, better in bed than you. Or might be just for the fun of cheating.

My advice for you is to find someone else on basis of compatibility and not just physical attraction.

Try to Have open and blunt communication without the fear of loosing her and convey your feelings clearly.

 

[Merlin]

This sounds like a case of "needing to have a conversation", What does she think about it? Did you tell her that you feel strange about the situation with her ex master?
If you sta quiet it is signaling her you are" fine with it".

 

[S101m]

Hi all, thanks for the replies. I appreciate you taking the time.

I hadn’t thought about the guy manipulating her like that. I don’t think that’s how it happened, I’m not saying it’s not possible but I didn’t get that impression. I obviously wasn’t there but I think it just sort of naturally evolved from nude modelling to sub/slave poses to fetish stuff. It sounds weird putting it like that. There are whole websites dedicated to amateur/hobby modelling/photography so it’s not a crazy as it comes across. She met loads of photographers, male and female and they do it all for the love. She said most contacts were made through word of mouth and recommendations. I’ve seen lots of the pictures and they are great.

The “fucking hot” comment was because she is ha ha. I wouldn’t be going out with someone I didn’t think was hot. But that’s not the only reason we’re going out.

I hadn’t considered her having been a slave to a guy in the past as meaning her more likely to cheat. Yes, they were sexual once but she’s had other boyfriends in the past and I’m not worried about her cheating because of that. Should I be?

I’m not actually sure how I feel about it and how I think I can get involved. Our sex life is great. I love the fact she did nude modelling, she looks amazing in the pictures. I also knew she’s very exhibitionistic and we do stuff around that, revealing clothing, flashing, sex outside etc. like I said, I’m no prude. I just didn’t realise she had taken being an exhibitionist to that level.

I cant decide how I feel about it. If she’d said she’d been a slave and had sex with him at his will. Or had sex with the 15 people at the party with a big bukkake session etc, I would feel very different and I couldn’t hack that. But she was essentially just naked and voluntarily “humiliated”. They touched her and made her cum but she didn’t do anything to them. She was naked during photoshoots and I have no issue with that. Am I weird in being ok with there being a distinction being the two?

I guess the cheating thing could be that she’ll always need that in her life. And as she’s comfortable being naked round me, she can’t get that thrill from me. But if she was honest with me about it all and she’s not having sex with others, is it that bad?

 

[Merlin]

Hi all, thanks for the replies. I appreciate you taking the time.

I hadn’t thought about the guy manipulating her like that. I don’t think that’s how it happened, I’m not saying it’s not possible but I didn’t get that impression. I obviously wasn’t there but I think it just sort of naturally evolved from nude modelling to sub/slave poses to fetish stuff. It sounds weird putting it like that. There are whole websites dedicated to amateur/hobby modelling/photography so it’s not a crazy as it comes across. She met loads of photographers, male and female and they do it all for the love. She said most contacts were made through word of mouth and recommendations. I’ve seen lots of the pictures and they are great.

The “fucking hot” comment was because she is ha ha. I wouldn’t be going out with someone I didn’t think was hot. But that’s not the only reason we’re going out.

I hadn’t considered her having been a slave to a guy in the past as meaning her more likely to cheat. Yes, they were sexual once but she’s had other boyfriends in the past and I’m not worried about her cheating because of that. Should I be?

I’m not actually sure how I feel about it and how I think I can get involved. Our sex life is great. I love the fact she did nude modelling, she looks amazing in the pictures. I also knew she’s very exhibitionistic and we do stuff around that, revealing clothing, flashing, sex outside etc. like I said, I’m no prude. I just didn’t realise she had taken being an exhibitionist to that level.

I cant decide how I feel about it. If she’d said she’d been a slave and had sex with him at his will. Or had sex with the 15 people at the party with a big bukkake session etc, I would feel very different and I couldn’t hack that. But she was essentially just naked and voluntarily “humiliated”. They touched her and made her cum but she didn’t do anything to them. She was naked during photoshoots and I have no issue with that. Am I weird in being ok with there being a distinction being the two?

I guess the cheating thing could be that she’ll always need that in her life. And as she’s comfortable being naked round me, she can’t get that thrill from me. But if she was honest with me about it all and she’s not having sex with others, is it that bad?

This is all guesswork he did thwere, he doesnt know if she will cheat or not...
This way of thinking is oversimplified
There is a chance that she might need the humilation aspect ... but the only way to find things like that out is to talk ... and that includes accepting a "i dont know" ... Dont jump to conclusions before you two had a conversation about it ...

 

[Gengis]

Do you feel it is bad? At the end of the day, its your oppinion the one that matters, What if i say its ok but u still thinking is not? or viceversa.

Shes been involved into an actual kink relationship and that wont go away, that is for sure. She may endure it just cause of you, you could probably do it the way she likes it, from time to time. U said u are no prude, try testing yout limits (actually i just want spread kinkyness). I mean... u don t know how frustrating could be to hold your drives.. or even giving them up completely, even if its your own choice.

About the cheating... shes been completely true to you, she even discussed her fetishes and that she had, in deed, an owner... that itself shows that shes interested in you, kowing its not a usual thing... I whouldnt care much, but if she wants to play that way... U can play her game, meing a master is not accepting everything she is up to, you have to set your own limits too, like... accept her as your sub (im assuming that is the point where she wants to get?) and your first rule could be loyalty. It has to be consensual, ofcrouse, but i assume u both want taht.
I mean.... vanilla loyalty promises are easy to break, but if u as a sub or a master u obey the rules, its a matter of pride, loyalty, and many more feelings, but this is already too long.