HELP.. im a submissive with curious vanilla husband

subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
2,201
1,599
233
Trying to get knowledgeable help on easing my husband into dominating for his pleasure and my needs as well.

First thing is to sit down an talk about it. Clothes on sober open honest discussion.
Does he even want to do this? Is he comfortable taking a dominant role? Help him with some references and maybe reach out to your local community for munches and people who can help guide you with their own experiences. Help give him a roadmap of the actions and behavior you consider to be dominant. So he has somewhere to start. Again I can’t reiterate this enough. Dont force him into this role if hes not wanting to do it.

With regards to seeking help from other kinksters…Don’t fall right in for someone who uses buzz words to swoon you into falling for their tricks. Mentoring is best done by same gender same role as yourself. Playing or tasking is not how one is “trained”. Lots of people will say they’ll “train”someone new and that really just means I’ll play and task you. So be careful what you sign on for. Try to vet people as best you can. Get specifics and details and check them against your research. There are lots of guys/girls looking for easy play who will have little to no experience and little to know concern of your well-being.

here’s a link to a similar prior post it’s not exactly what you’re going through but could also be a helpful read.

I know I have replied to other posts but I have so many to go through finding them. Feel free to check out my prior posts. You might find other helpful discussions.

lastly I hate referring offsite but Fetlife the novices and newbies group has some awesome links to references and common questions.
 

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