I’m New To Kink Life

[Mollyk2123]

I’m brand new and just experimenting with what kinks I like. I know I like degradation and being talked down to, and having my appearance and intelligence insulted. I’m not sure what physical kinks I like.

I’d love to talk with some dominant men and women to hear what they expect from submissives and what I should expect from Doms.

I may eventually be interested in a D/s situation if I connect with the right person.

You can message me on here or kik: mollyk2123

 

[poetrylover828]

I’m on the submissive side, but you could get different answers from each and every dom you talk to. There is no one way to be dominant or submissive. I would recommend doing your own research by reading discussions here and checking out fetlife. There are lots of groups on fetlife as well that would have good resources/discussions to read.

 

[Mollyk2123]

Thank you!

 

[poetrylover828]

Thank you!

You’re welcome. I would also be careful of any of the people who are likely to be messaging you now saying they will train you and what not. A number of them are seeing that you are new and think they can use you.

 

[subzzzero]

Be especially careful with the fact you have two kinks listed there that many guys are clueless about. Degradation especially. They think they know how it works but essentially they just end up coming off as abusive because they don't understand the potential long term emotional effects or how to provide the appropriate aftercare. Fact check any potentials who come claiming they can help you. A dom saying "I have "lots" of experience in impact play" is far different from one who can give elaborate details of past experiences, implements used and why, aftercare, risks etc. As mentioned above saying you're new does invite lots of guys who think they can take advantage of you.

I would recommend checking their profile here by clicking on their name. You can go back and see a history of all their past posts and comments here. It will be very enlightening to see how some have acted in the past or to see that pattern off lazy slack zero effort like when they just post " kik me slut" or similar. When you do start talking ask for details keep pressing and know that even as a sub you have all the rights to setting terms, rules, and limits during negotiations. Just because your are "a sub" doesn't mean you are "anyone/everyone's sub" make them earn the right to have you serve them.

 

[nina]

While there's no "one size fits all", usually, good dominants take genuine interest in knowing you, the emotional or mental aspects (like past baggage) behind why certain kinks appeal to you, help you explore, reflect or even focus on achieving some of your goals (vanilla or kinky). If they are actually investing this time and energy in you, they also expect you to reciprocate honestly.
What they 'may' be : understanding, nurturing, adaptable, patient;
what they usually shouldn't be : demanding, shouting, uncompromising, abusive.
Being firm is not the same as being rigid.

Above are just my views based on my observations and limited experiences of both subbing and domming (online only) and there are many different types of D/s dynamics ranging from casual online ones to more committed ones and all come with different aspects, expectations and customised to the individuals sharing that dynamic.

What is nice is that you are looking for information and to talk to Doms/subs about their experiences first to better understand things before entering into any kind of dynamic.

 

[kaylessa]

All those awesome answers which I can hardly add anything valuable. Only one advice: I'd suggest to dig the internet for porn on different kinks. While they exaggerate, it can give you ideas on which things you'd love to try and which not - even if you might not be interested in porn per se. Be very careful about which kinks tease you mentally while not teasing you in real life - some kinks are only meant for dreams.

 

[artificer]

While there's no "one size fits all", usually, good dominants take genuine interest in knowing you, the emotional or mental aspects (like past baggage) behind why certain kinks appeal to you, help you explore, reflect or even focus on achieving some of your goals (vanilla or kinky). If they are actually investing this time and energy in you, they also expect you to reciprocate honestly.
What they 'may' be : understanding, nurturing, adaptable, patient;
what they usually shouldn't be : demanding, shouting, uncompromising, abusive.
Being firm is not the same as being rigid.

Above are just my views based on my observations and limited experiences of both subbing and domming (online only) and there are many different types of D/s dynamics ranging from casual online ones to more committed ones and all come with different aspects, expectations and customised to the individuals sharing that dynamic.

What is nice is that you are looking for information and to talk to Doms/subs about their experiences first to better understand things before entering into any kind of dynamic.

This is such solid advice.

 

[TheLastOne]

I'm learning just by creeping through threads. I got told to get out of the house last night after an argument about cleanliness. Now I've decided I'm pretty much done wasting time not really living and want to expand my horizons as it were. Hopefully I'll end up well off by learning all I can.