I have a question for subs

[Rocky]

My subs and I have been together over a year and we have hit a road block in our dynamic and our relationship is getting hard. I need some help because I am having trouble understanding her needs because she needs me to help her get back up and as a Dom, I am having trouble giving her what she needs because we have never been this bad. I need a different outlook.

 

[playtoday]

What does she need help getting up from?

 

[Rocky]

What does she need help getting up from?

Getting back into the dynamic. Things got hard on us both with life and now we are having trouble getting back to it

 

[MissKubo]

Could it be that the difficulties in life have left underlying unresolved issues? For some women, just being aroused can be difficult when you have other stuff going through your mind, let alone getting into anything kinky.

 

[playtoday]

Also could be there is a lot of crazy stuff going on right now. Peoples lives have literally been flipped upside down. Their normal routine is nonexistent. People are literally scared for their life. Do you know what that feels like? I’d try to wait until this pandemic is over and see if your dynamic goes back to how it was. Is this a real life dynamic or an online one?

 

[Rocky]

Also could be there is a lot of crazy stuff going on right now. Peoples lives have literally been flipped upside down. Their normal routine is nonexistent. People are literally scared for their life. Do you know what that feels like? I’d try to wait until this pandemic is over and see if your dynamic goes back to how it was. Is this a real life dynamic or an online one?

This is a real life dynamic.

 

[playtoday]

Could just be from stress. Wait until this is all over and see how things go?

 

[poetrylover828]

Well I would start with a conversation. Clothes on no playing just ask her about what she is thinking. And then let her speak about how she is feeling. Ask hewhat you can do to help. And if she doesn’t know then you guys can work together on coming up with ideas.

if she still wants to keep up with the play side of things it could just be a push towards sub headspace. Or maybe she is feeling overwhelmed with life and just needs to be able to vent or get help with something they are dealing with.

in all honesty it’s hard for us to give good advice because we aren’t her. But having a very open conversation is the best place to start.

 

[unicorn]

In the situation that the world is right now, people are lacking the regular life dynamic that they are used to. As far I as understand between the lines you two live together (?) so you spend much much more time together right now and probably only witch each other (social distancing). This is totally new life dynamic so it will most likely interrupt the dom/sub dynamic too.
I agree with @playtoday - it's best not to push anything now, wait a little until the rest of life goes back to normal, there is a big chance the rest is gonna follow.
I wish you two all best!

 

[dreamcro]

Maybe you can try to add sexual details in nonsexual activities? For example butt plug wearing or vibrating egg, vibrating panties or dildo during everyday routine. Maybe you can arrange some tasks to do during the day and send you proof of accomplishment . That way she may get horny and more willing to play. Various thing can be done, just let your imagination go wild. Of course if both sides agree with it.

 

[Stretch24]

I believe communication is key. I have been withy mistress for going on 14 years and like any relationship it hits dry spells also. As others have noted stress and other things can sometimes change your focus temporarily. When we hit a dry spot, typically she sits down with me and we talk it out much like a therapy session for both of us to try to find the root cause and find a way to fix it. We are both very open with each other. This is usually what brings us closer. Also sometimes maybe try to get her to push her limits a bit more as those can change also as you continue. Just a thought to think about for you. Good luck