Looking for advice

[Jennybar]

Hello everyone,

As I said on my profile I’m kinda new into this world and I was just wondering : what is a good submissive?

I’ve been thinking about it for quite some time now, I’ve experienced a few things but I’ve never really been into a real dom/sub relationships. That’s why any advice on the subject would be appreciated.

You can either kik me : Jen.bar or comment below !

Thanks !

 

[AmvetSB]

Be careful what you wish for! Don't get discouraged by being inundated by creeps and supportive folks alike, or nothing at all.
Consider what you want to experience and the level you are willing to submit to.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Its an odd question in a way but it does get asked a lot, the short answer is there is no real answer. Its like asking "what makes a good wife" or "what makes a partner" it really depends on what the other person is looking for.
Submissives come in all shapes, sizes and flavours, everything from meek and passive to bratty and brash. If you feel you are submissive you really need to look inside and find what it is you need, do you crave to please or do you like to play up and be naughty so you get punished, do you enjoy pain, do you like be tied up, and so on.
Once you work out what you're looking for then you can go looking for a Dom that suits your needs.

 

[subzzzero]

What makes a good sub is a good matched dom. This is best found by lots of discussion and bonding and getting to know each other. Negotiating expectations and discussing likes dislikes limits etc. As the doc said above there's no correct answer. Just because one identifies as sub or dom doesnt meant theyll be a proper fit. See what you want out of it all and find a person with similar interests. Beginners tip: dont tell the guy what all your likes and expectations are first, make sure its an equal share back and forth. There are people out there who will make you answer first so that they can appear to want and like all the exact same stuff you do.

 

[kaylessa]

While I agree with all other who posted before in that a good submissive matches the dominant person, I also must disagree to an extent (or at least emphasize one part):
The dominant part for your submissive nature does not need to be an actual person. When you try to discover your likes, try to imagine the dominant part as some unified form of force. That did the trick for me and I was able to discover many of my likes that way. That said, experimenting is key to exploration. Many things I liked much more than I thought beforehand. Also other things which I imagined to be awesome aren't that great in reality - some kinks are only great in dreams.

That said, when you try a relationship with a dominant, don't continue to think of them as a unified force. They do have needs as well.

 

[nina]

some good advice above..

I would say apart from having the basic traits needed for any person to be in any relationship like being genuine, reliable, honest, considerate and affectionate towards them etc., having the INTENT to submit is also very important.

Submission is a great commitment and whether you have a dominant or submissive personality irl doesn't matter [just realised I need to update this viewpoint of mine in one of my discussion threads here..lol] provided you have the intent to submit to someone because many a times our natural instinct is to defy or resist authority and we don't realize when we are topping from the bottom.

Please note I don't mean a sub should submit to any demanding wannabe out there to be 'good' or 'real', but once you have filtered out the wannabees and found someone genuine and compatible, a dedicated and enthusiastic intention to submit and please them [again I don't mean open communication should not be there] is what makes a good submissive in my eyes. Again this is not the only desirable quality but other qualities could be more specific and subjective.

Also my answer is based on the assumption that this discussion is about a committed D/s and not just Top/bottom for play/scene.