I am looking for some advice to help me make my wife more dominate. she tries to take control but she has always been more vanilla and isnt quite sure how to be proper dominate. Please if you have advice for me to help her get her domme side out let me know!
looking for help with my wife
- Thread starter Ksswitch
- Start date
First thing is to sit down an talk about it. Does she even want to do this? Is she comfortable taking a dominant role? Help her with some references and maybe reach out to your local community for munches and people who can help guide you with their own experiences. Help give her a roadmap of the actions and behavior you consider to be dominant. So she has somewhere to start. Again I can’t reiterate this enough. Dont force her into this role if she’s not wanting to do it.
Communication is key. She may grow into the role if she has an understanding of what you’re looking for. But it will take time.
The issue you have is what you say is "how to be proper dominate". There isn't just one way.
One could say if she is doing just what she wants that she is being dominant. Giving no or little thought to what you want is being dominant. You however insisting that action go your way is not really being submissive to her dominance.
So it boils down to you both obtaining some sort of common ground. I agree with tge others that if you are to find that common ground then you have to communicate to find it. It is better to do this without the fog of sexual arousal. Plan a meeting to talk it over in a relaxed atmosphere. There will be tension of course. Both of you ought to plan for it. It will be most difficult for you. You must lay the seeds for the actions you imagine. Whatever is decided you must leave the decision you her. If you want her to actually dominate the bedroom then you have to agree with her that she has the final say. If don't, it is not her who is improperly dominating, it is you who is improperly submitting.
One could say if she is doing just what she wants that she is being dominant. Giving no or little thought to what you want is being dominant. You however insisting that action go your way is not really being submissive to her dominance.
So it boils down to you both obtaining some sort of common ground. I agree with tge others that if you are to find that common ground then you have to communicate to find it. It is better to do this without the fog of sexual arousal. Plan a meeting to talk it over in a relaxed atmosphere. There will be tension of course. Both of you ought to plan for it. It will be most difficult for you. You must lay the seeds for the actions you imagine. Whatever is decided you must leave the decision you her. If you want her to actually dominate the bedroom then you have to agree with her that she has the final say. If don't, it is not her who is improperly dominating, it is you who is improperly submitting.
What exactly do you want from her? Ask yourself that, then think if you can ask her directly. If you can't then any advice won't work.
Maybe patience does it in time.
But you might discover that she isn't into all the things you want. Then there is nothing to do about. Not everyone share the same fetishes. About me: I simulate and both laugh since I can't ask my mate to feel anything about what I want to do to her.
Maybe patience does it in time.
But you might discover that she isn't into all the things you want. Then there is nothing to do about. Not everyone share the same fetishes. About me: I simulate and both laugh since I can't ask my mate to feel anything about what I want to do to her.
