Alright so I have been a dom online for 3 years and I've had 3 long term slaves. Each one has developed pretty strong feelings for me after a few months and I've had to stop being there dom because of it. 2 times I made the decision once it was hers. But everytime it was because they had feelings for me and It was making them unhappy. I'm not sure what to do about it. Anyone had similar experiences or have any advice for me.
My slaves fall in love with me
- Thread starter Notherguy
- Start date
Im headed off for the night after a way too long workday. Short response and ill follow up tomorrow when i get some time. Its natural for feelings to develop. It usually means you're at least doing something right thats making the other side so happy with you and so comfortable with you. I have this happen lots times and its honestly part of it. A dynamic is a very connected deep thing and once those walls of hesitation are down and the trust builds i think feelings just naturally happen. I mean dynamics are in all actuality, relationships. Thats why many people suggest seeking out doms or subs to be like seeking out a bf/gf.
A few questions to help better answer further.
1. Did you develop feelings for them as well?
2. What reasons did they give for having feelings for you?
3. Do you have a perm vanilla or other type relationship thats providing the love affection portion of your life?
4. You say long term slaves but long is subjective how many months, or years are we talking each one lasted?
Simplest answer is, if youre not happy with this type of result make it clear upfront youre not in it for that... it may drastically reduce your options but at least you wont end up there a 4th time. Also you can just treat it as more a top/bottom situation as casual play partners if thats more what you want. Again this might reduce your choices. Some people are better at compartmentalizing than others so every case will be different. Id suggest asking yourself with the last few that felll for you, if they had said they were in love with another but wanted to still sub to you, how would that make you feel? If the answer is youd be bothered by them wanting to love another while playing with you then maybe you had some feelings too. Ive had both ways and all relationships have progressed differently. Some even ended up with feelings when neither was seeking them out . Its a deep connection things happen.
A few questions to help better answer further.
1. Did you develop feelings for them as well?
2. What reasons did they give for having feelings for you?
3. Do you have a perm vanilla or other type relationship thats providing the love affection portion of your life?
4. You say long term slaves but long is subjective how many months, or years are we talking each one lasted?
Simplest answer is, if youre not happy with this type of result make it clear upfront youre not in it for that... it may drastically reduce your options but at least you wont end up there a 4th time. Also you can just treat it as more a top/bottom situation as casual play partners if thats more what you want. Again this might reduce your choices. Some people are better at compartmentalizing than others so every case will be different. Id suggest asking yourself with the last few that felll for you, if they had said they were in love with another but wanted to still sub to you, how would that make you feel? If the answer is youd be bothered by them wanting to love another while playing with you then maybe you had some feelings too. Ive had both ways and all relationships have progressed differently. Some even ended up with feelings when neither was seeking them out . Its a deep connection things happen.
Yes I do care for them very much but am not in love with them. As for reasons they didn't really give one. Yes I do have a relationship outside of my online ones and they were all aware of it from the beginning. My first slave I had for 9 months before it was to much of a problem. Then my next slave I had for 5 months. Then I had one for 5 months again. I still talk to them all but I am not there master anymore. In practice they do still call me master.
So the reason i asked that about the outside relationship is to put perspective in place. You spent several months with them and they became attached and cared for you. Probably not having the love relationship separately like you did so they sought that love out within you. YOu having no need of that just didnt get the same feeling was all.
Also if you have ended things each time and made it clear things were over. Im not sure why they are still referring to you by titles. If youre still calling them a sub title or the chosen pet name yall used then you might be misleading them into thinking they still have a chance at rekindling things. For me when a dynamic ends its first name basis again, no sub slave dom master sir etc. But thats just me.
Anyways as far as preventing it in future my advice is in the first post. best i got maybe others can share their opinions too.
Also if you have ended things each time and made it clear things were over. Im not sure why they are still referring to you by titles. If youre still calling them a sub title or the chosen pet name yall used then you might be misleading them into thinking they still have a chance at rekindling things. For me when a dynamic ends its first name basis again, no sub slave dom master sir etc. But thats just me.
Anyways as far as preventing it in future my advice is in the first post. best i got maybe others can share their opinions too.
