Need...perspective

[LoveableMelz]

So I’ve been into kink for years on and off. Every time I start to have fun and get really into it, I’m hit with this immeasurable amount of guilt because I’m doing something wrong. And, I know realistically I’m not because everything is consensual and safe, but that thought always hits me and takes all the pleasure out of the kink. So I step back and swear it’s over and I’m going to be “good” (whatever the hell that means) and a couple of months later I’m back because I realize kink makes me happy and allows me to have fun. Does anyone ever feel like this? What do you do? What are thought processes or mantras or whatever I can say to get rid of the cycle of guilt?

 

[subzzzero]

I dont ever feel guilty. I do however know the urge to return anytime I thought i could leave and live the strictly vanilla life. I suggest that you ask yourself a few questions
Do i enjoy the kinky stuff?
Is it posing me a danger to my health or safety?
Am i hurting anyone else in the process?
Does it help me in a positive way?

Youll see that what you are into may be different than some others but that doesnt make it wrong in any way. Nor should you feel guilty. What you do to get your own pleasure is about you. Dont let narrow minded thinkers affect you negatively. People get massages, workout, do crafts, shoot, play sports, etc for enjoyment. How is kink any different.

 

[MissKubo]

Overall no, I don't have any guilt over being kinky in general. We make an effort to hide it from our kid but we're a loving couple with shared interests sexually.

There are however a few things that I used to fantasize about and some areas that we explored in our early days, particularly when we'd roleplay in Second Life, that I am a little bit ashamed of having enjoyed. Those things however will stay in fantasy or in Second Life because they're either impossible or too dangerous to replicate in reality.

But, as subzzzero asked in his response, do I enjoy it? Yes. Am I hurting anyone else? No. Is it posing a danger to my health and safety? Not if we don't do it in reality.

So, I would say I can empathize with and understand your feeling guilty, a little. But you really shouldn't. Your kinks are a part of you and the fact that you keep coming back to them proves it's what you really want. There's so much negativity everywhere in the world and life has plenty of cards to deal, good and bad, that can change everything for you in an instant. If kink is a positive thing that you and a consenting partner (or two, or more, whatever) really enjoy, then embrace it and make the best of it.

 

[BamaSwitch]

Honestly, at one time I felt the exact same way. It was an on again / off again love affair. Finally I realized that I was putting how others would view it on top of the way I viewed it and really skewing my perception. Eventually I determined that as long as it was legally acceptable, that I was good with it.

And I've been happier since.