So i have always been into Bdsm, and Love the thought of being owned and used, unfortunately i have never been able to experience these things properly.
Recently i have started looking more into it and noticed I find myself thinking about and getting more excited by the pain side of it, but i don't just mean light pain, I'm on about needles through my nipples, being burnt by cigerettes, hot sauce being rubbed on my clit, nettles, being cut lightly, large objects being forced inside both holes, ect...
I can't seem to find anyone like this the Doms i have spoke to all seem to be into the lighter side of it all, so i am scared to open up to people i am speaking with incase they think im disgusting...
and also i am worried what if its just more of a fantasy turn on than an actual doing turn on...
Anyone been in this situation? or know how i can go about it all?? Thankyou
If i understand it right you are new to all this so lets have a look at your list and what is the difference between the fantasy and reality. Doing some of these things require a lot more than you may think or what porn doesn't show.
- Needles through nipples
If we are talking about online, this would mean you will need some expertise, at absolute minimum some basic (better way more than basic) understanding of piercing or some medical training in that regard. Meaning an investment of you of at least a few months to a year to learn all this. Also you will need equipment like disinfectant and sterile needles. There still will be a risk of damaging the nerves up to losing all feeling permanently, like with nipple piercings, but the risk is a lot lower that way.
In person that can be replaced by a person that has all that of course. I would advice to look for someone that can show credentials or is known though.
- Burnt by cigarettes
This really depends on were and in what extend.
Again if you want to do it to yourself I would advice for medical training first. That can be by another person of course again.
Be aware that there is a chance of scaring permanently, especially in visible and sensitive places I would be careful. Also the burning should be threated after to avoid infections and lower the risk of scares.
I would also highly advice to not do it alone (!) as there is a real risk of fainting from the pain, worst case causing a fire with the lit cigarette.
- Hot sauce rubbed on the clit / Nettles
I would advice to test for allergies first and try it on the underside of the arm first. Putting hot sauce on the clit while painful is way more doable as beginner than the first 2, same goes for nettles.
It is important to go slow with it though to see how you react to it, as the reaction from person to person is very different.
Hot sauce inside the pussy is more problematic and i would avoid it as it can cause burns and fungal infections (if the sauce includes sugar). things like ginger are better for that (after testing it...)
- Cutting
Again, you need to know what you are doing, so some medical background is advisable (from you or another person). You need to know were and how deep to cut without it being to dangerous.
Also here, chance of scaring, but it depends a lot on how deep you cut. Will also require to be threated if it is anything but a super light cut. Sterile equipment is advised here too.
-Large Insertions
This is again more doable as beginner, even though you will need time to ease yourself into it. Going to big to fast can cause some serious damage, not only but to the ass especially can require some long term medical care and even be damaged permanent if you go to fast or use the wrong implement that causes a wound on the inside.
Knowing what you are doing or someone that does is advised here.
Most Doms will not have the interest in these things to invest into learning all that is needed. There still are a lot that do of course.
Local BDSM clubs may be able to get you in contact with some or go to a BDSM event where you can ask people and maybe try out some of these things like needles.
For online my advice would be to stay away from extreme things till you get enough experience to know if you want to invest the amount of time to learn the skills to do any of these things.
There are things way less learning intense (even on your list) to try out first. And while still requiring some preparation and knowing what you do, are way more realistic to try to see if your fantasy has anything to do with you wanting to do it in reality.
Also , a sub insisting to jump right into the more extreme things, as beginner, would be a red flag for me. Someone not knowing what they do and going right into extreme play is a danger for the dom too.
Take your time (months, years , however long it takes) , go slow, learn your skills. On the long run this will be way more rewarding
