new to a kink discussion site

[nina]

Based on my browsing and participation experience in some kink discussion forums over the years, I want to list some basic etiquette or the lack of it commonly observed. I also want to hear from others if they have observed something similar or different they want to add to the list or have a different perspective to share.

=> Don't use titles like master, slave etc without consent, specially don't add them in your first message to someone, it doesn't make a good impression generally.

=> Don't spam around with one liners in threads and profile posts to get attention. A single thoughtful post can get you more attention from genuine people.

=> Lurk around to locate where your threads, people, media, discussion of interest are and make your contributions there.

=> Don't use anonymity as a shield to behave in a way you would never irl. There are real people on the other side of the wire as well.

=> Take your time to explore not just the site but also your kinky views, needs, likes. Don't be in a hurry to be "owned" out of frenzy. Like a kinky friend once said, the rabbit hole is deeper than you think.

 

[subzzzero]

That is all great guidance!
To elaborate on the one liners.
This is my kik use me. Or this is my kik I need slaves etc.
Then every day or even more often followed by
Still looking
Still looking
Bump
Bump
Still looking
This shows so much desperation and frankly it really puts a negative view on the person posting. I know it’s a kinktalk rule too but it’s one I even get tired of calling people out for so I just usually pass them over lol.

The whole using titles before earned one that you mentioned is a big no as well. This title use comes off as disrespectful, ignorant , and shows assumption of ownership is some cases. Which again all shows the lack of Exp and to me are red flags big time.

If I had to add my own unique tip to this already awesome list that @nina has created then it would have to be:

understand the post you’re replying to and answer accordingly.
For example a sub asks for info about bondage or has a question about her relationship. A response of “kik me” or “ do this bondage task” is not giving her the respect due.
when one requests a task and lists out a limit. A response involving the limit
Is a No. for example the sub request says pics Vids are a limit. The response task involves “take pics or vids” is showing lack of exp, disrespect, and ignorance

 

[nina]

To elaborate on the one liners.
This is my kik use me. Or this is my kik I need slaves etc.
Then every day or even more often followed by
Still looking
Still looking
Bump
Bump
Still looking
This shows so much desperation and frankly it really puts a negative view on the person posting.

Yeah, in fact an alternative to repetitive bumping and a good strategy here would be to showcase their personality, expertise or knowledge by sharing their views and engaging in forum threads relevantly. It will give them the visibility required to attract people to their profiles or their ads linked in signature

 

[Doctor Pervert]

Thank you @nina for posting this, something I have been looking for a way to start the conversation on for a while!

A major factor so many miss when they jump in and post ill conceived posts is that responders will be judging you by how much effort you put in. If you are struggling to type half a dozen words when trying to attract someone what will you be like in conversation?

Normally I wouldn't name and shame in this way but honestly this thread is just too egregious an example to ignore.

LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL DOMINATE ME

Wants someone to control me.

www.kinktalk.com

Lets start at the start, there are 7 words in the title, and 5 words in the actual post. WTF?
The replies reflect this lack of effort perfectly, of the 10 replies, 5 are one word answers. One response from @asslovr actually tries to put things back on track by pointing out that the lack of information is a major problem. His reply contains more words than all the other replies combined.
The rest, the 9 out of the 10 replies are just a shorthand, ping pong of few words that go nowhere.

I'm not advocating everyone needs to post a novel's worth of words but in an environment where discussion via text is what we have you do need to put in some effort.

 

[subzzzero]

Since we are going there. I’ll keep it anonymous. The last post I saw A person (domme) new to the site made a post seeking information and posted her bdsm test.
a few decent people responded with value added. But the majority was focused on either “get her” or “be hers”lol.
This was the best line in the posts.
“Hello and welcomw, i saw U are 54% switch let me show u how to be a sub”

Really ? Like really? To bring into perspective her scores were high Dom sides. Sub sides scored single digits. This is desperation at its finest.

This other one below is a great example of lots of people not reading the original post. It says private message her here for kik details. Yet there’s loads of responses where clearly they didn’t read.

Young mistress looking to punish

Hi I'm a strict mistress looking for slaves. I expect obedience, and will punish you for misbehaviour. If you think you're worthy of my attention, Private message me on here to get kik details.

www.kinktalk.com