New to DDLG.

[littleone99]

Hi there,

I’m new to DD/lg. I was wondering if there were any littles to help educate me better. I thought I was a sub and liked having a “Sir” but after talking to my dom more about it and researching, we found that DD/lg suited us better - and we are starting our rules, punishments and rewards from start to suit us. I was wondering if there were anything that helped you with finding punishments, I will admit that I can be a brat sometimes, and I don’t really like punishments, but I want to try and be better in terms of personal growth within the dynamic.

I’m not entirely sure if that makes sense but thank you.

 

[poetrylover828]

Well first if you don’t like/want punishments you don’t need them. You can work on a reward only system and find ways to adjust goals to be able to get your rewards. It might be more of a “this is consistently one I am not fulfilling what I agreed to do why?” And figure out what needs to change.

But if you want punishment as part of it then the point is you don’t like what happens. Be sure you talk out things that are absolutely no even for a punishment. You can still have limits for punishments and the like.

 

[littleone99]

Well first if you don’t like/want punishments you don’t need them. You can work on a reward only system and find ways to adjust goals to be able to get your rewards. It might be more of a “this is consistently one I am not fulfilling what I agreed to do why?” And figure out what needs to change.

But if you want punishment as part of it then the point is you don’t like what happens. Be sure you talk out things that are absolutely no even for a punishment. You can still have limits for punishments and the like.

Thank you for your reply. I will have a look at a reward system only as well and see if that benefits me better.

 

[poetrylover828]

Definitely keep researching and seeing what others have done as that can help you figure out ideas of what you might want to try.

 

[chokedncollared]

The point of punishments is not to like them. You can try reward only, but if you’re not seeing growth from that, you may need to reconsider punishments being part of the dynamic. Punishments don’t have to be painful, though they can be.

Non-Painful punishments can be:
- being used in sex positions you don’t enjoy
- humiliation tasks
- orgasm denial
- boring assignments

Kimuratrap has a hard time with my punishments because generally I like them, if not during the fact, then after. Pain punishments subdue me the most but also turn me on. He figured that out quickly; his thing is that he doesn’t want to have to punish me. He wants me to listen. So his punishments are geared toward getting that result. If I like it, then it’s not a punishment and won’t get the result because I will just misbehave more to get the punishment again. Usually a really hard spanking (leaving bruises) will turn me on the most but also keep me in line the most afterward. Things I have a harder time with would be like long anal sessions or long face fuck sessions. Anything paired with orgasm denial works best because then even if I enjoy the punishment there is no follow up relief. But sometimes he just gives me boring tasks like laundry - we usually have someone else do the laundry but he will sometimes have me do his if I haven’t been listening because he knows I hate that.

Mostly I want to listen but sometimes I like to test boundaries. The severity of the punishment usually has to do with which I’m up to. If I’m testing boundaries or being a smart ass or disrespectful, the punishment is worse than if I’m just being inconsiderate or make a mistake.

The best thing you can do is be honest with your partner about what you like, what you don’t like, and what’s a hard limit. Hard limits should never be crossed. But things you don’t like should still be on the table as punishment options.

 

[Kimuratrap]

The point of punishments is not to like them. You can try reward only, but if you’re not seeing growth from that, you may need to reconsider punishments being part of the dynamic. Punishments don’t have to be painful, though they can be.

Non-Painful punishments can be:
- being used in sex positions you don’t enjoy
- humiliation tasks
- orgasm denial
- boring assignments

Kimuratrap has a hard time with my punishments because generally I like them, if not during the fact, then after. Pain punishments subdue me the most but also turn me on. He figured that out quickly; his thing is that he doesn’t want to have to punish me. He wants me to listen. So his punishments are geared toward getting that result. If I like it, then it’s not a punishment and won’t get the result because I will just misbehave more to get the punishment again. Usually a really hard spanking (leaving bruises) will turn me on the most but also keep me in line the most afterward. Things I have a harder time with would be like long anal sessions or long face fuck sessions. Anything paired with orgasm denial works best because then even if I enjoy the punishment there is no follow up relief. But sometimes he just gives me boring tasks like laundry - we usually have someone else do the laundry but he will sometimes have me do his if I haven’t been listening because he knows I hate that.

Mostly I want to listen but sometimes I like to test boundaries. The severity of the punishment usually has to do with which I’m up to. If I’m testing boundaries or being a smart ass or disrespectful, the punishment is worse than if I’m just being inconsiderate or make a mistake.

The best thing you can do is be honest with your partner about what you like, what you don’t like, and what’s a hard limit. Hard limits should never be crossed. But things you don’t like should still be on the table as punishme

The point of punishments is not to like them. You can try reward only, but if you’re not seeing growth from that, you may need to reconsider punishments being part of the dynamic. Punishments don’t have to be painful, though they can be.

Non-Painful punishments can be:
- being used in sex positions you don’t enjoy
- humiliation tasks
- orgasm denial
- boring assignments

Kimuratrap has a hard time with my punishments because generally I like them, if not during the fact, then after. Pain punishments subdue me the most but also turn me on. He figured that out quickly; his thing is that he doesn’t want to have to punish me. He wants me to listen. So his punishments are geared toward getting that result. If I like it, then it’s not a punishment and won’t get the result because I will just misbehave more to get the punishment again. Usually a really hard spanking (leaving bruises) will turn me on the most but also keep me in line the most afterward. Things I have a harder time with would be like long anal sessions or long face fuck sessions. Anything paired with orgasm denial works best because then even if I enjoy the punishment there is no follow up relief. But sometimes he just gives me boring tasks like laundry - we usually have someone else do the laundry but he will sometimes have me do his if I haven’t been listening because he knows I hate that.

Mostly I want to listen but sometimes I like to test boundaries. The severity of the punishment usually has to do with which I’m up to. If I’m testing boundaries or being a smart ass or disrespectful, the punishment is worse than if I’m just being inconsiderate or make a mistake.

The best thing you can do is be honest with your partner about what you like, what you don’t like, and what’s a hard limit. Hard limits should never be crossed. But things you don’t like should still be on the table as punishment options.

Speaking of laundry kitten, mine is in the washer and waiting for you. I did the “3am and 5am” last night and still you were unavailable to me at 7... unacceptable.