Fairly to this and building more confidence on owning a sub. Questio. What's the etiquette for letting down an over keen sub
Newbie Dom rules
- Thread starter rouge.dude247
- Start date
Need more info than that.
Are you asking how to reject a potential candidate?
Or are you saying you want to let a sun go who is in a dynamic with you?
Just be honest and clear about it all. A very simple this will not work out will suffice. If the other party wants the why. I usually accommodate so that next time with a new person they might know what to give that person as expectations.
So like a sub is too much into DDlg stuff maybe. Maybe it’s not the doms thing. He lets her know and for future doms she knows she’s heavier into the DDlg side.
Or maybe she wants very consistent hourly convo. She’s not wrong to want it. But it might not fit a doms style. So if she asked why then telling her she’s needing a lot more Time than you can give will allow her to lead with that need for future doms.
Other times they don’t want or need the reasons and will just move on
Whatever you do. Don’t ghost someone don’t just let it all fizzle out radio silence style. Be a proper person treat r them as the human being they are and give the respect of a clear communicated ending.
Are you asking how to reject a potential candidate?
Or are you saying you want to let a sun go who is in a dynamic with you?
Just be honest and clear about it all. A very simple this will not work out will suffice. If the other party wants the why. I usually accommodate so that next time with a new person they might know what to give that person as expectations.
So like a sub is too much into DDlg stuff maybe. Maybe it’s not the doms thing. He lets her know and for future doms she knows she’s heavier into the DDlg side.
Or maybe she wants very consistent hourly convo. She’s not wrong to want it. But it might not fit a doms style. So if she asked why then telling her she’s needing a lot more Time than you can give will allow her to lead with that need for future doms.
Other times they don’t want or need the reasons and will just move on
Whatever you do. Don’t ghost someone don’t just let it all fizzle out radio silence style. Be a proper person treat r them as the human being they are and give the respect of a clear communicated ending.
Well , things have moved on since my last post. She wants to be my sub
but taking her time to fully committed. She has put me at a 7/10 closer to being her Dom and wants to improved on personal relationship and physical after. Fast forward she asked permission to meet her ex Dom, sounds like I am being played... Question is ditch her or wait and see.
but taking her time to fully committed. She has put me at a 7/10 closer to being her Dom and wants to improved on personal relationship and physical after. Fast forward she asked permission to meet her ex Dom, sounds like I am being played... Question is ditch her or wait and see.
Real talk hard blunt truth incoming.
Majority of your posts here are seeking subs with minimal effort. Even after this post you made about a potential. You were still responding to subs publicly here trying to pick them up. You doubted the sub you refer to in this post. You now doubt her again. This is likely to continue and so it’s probably best you find a better match.
But your lack of trust may stem from your lack of effort solely to her. If you’re chasing other subs the whole time. It’s likely you’re not invested enough in her to build that trust. Probably why she’s pushing for more personal connection and less physical.
As far as the ex Dom. I have had subs meet with their ex doms. I also have many ex subs of mine I keep in touch with as friends only. I guess first you need to ask her why and what she plans to meet him for then decide if you can support that or not.
Majority of your posts here are seeking subs with minimal effort. Even after this post you made about a potential. You were still responding to subs publicly here trying to pick them up. You doubted the sub you refer to in this post. You now doubt her again. This is likely to continue and so it’s probably best you find a better match.
But your lack of trust may stem from your lack of effort solely to her. If you’re chasing other subs the whole time. It’s likely you’re not invested enough in her to build that trust. Probably why she’s pushing for more personal connection and less physical.
As far as the ex Dom. I have had subs meet with their ex doms. I also have many ex subs of mine I keep in touch with as friends only. I guess first you need to ask her why and what she plans to meet him for then decide if you can support that or not.
Sub, thank you for your response and blunt response. First of all let me correct some assumptions you have made in your reply. The said sub is it from this forum and I would not be disrespectful as to post a query about her on here if she was on the forum.
Regarding doubting her intent, it stemmed from my observing her behaviour where she was elusive and casual mentioned she might be meeting someone. It turns out it was he ex Dom..which I have no problem with.
And it's not about being insecure, as I would expect an upfront openness from her.
Ok say -i am a newbie..could she be taking advantage of my naivety? She has 10 yr experience.
Regarding doubting her intent, it stemmed from my observing her behaviour where she was elusive and casual mentioned she might be meeting someone. It turns out it was he ex Dom..which I have no problem with.
And it's not about being insecure, as I would expect an upfront openness from her.
Ok say -i am a newbie..could she be taking advantage of my naivety? She has 10 yr experience.
The part I mention about finding others has nothing to do with her being here on this site or not. It is your lack of invested effort by trolling for more subs and expectation of a solid effort level dynamic with her while doing so.
I think it’s less about her taking advantage and more about you lacking the Exp and knowledge. You’re essentially still looking for subs here. Have you told her that directly? If you have not then you are doing the same elusive behavior you claim of her.
If in fact you told her you’re still looking here then she likely thinks no decisions to be mono is there and she’s doing the same.
I am definitely with subzzzero on this, I also question that you would not disrespect her if she was here, yet you are still posting. I might consider that a disrespect in an untruthful way. New, experienced or in between find someone you fit with. If you question, move on.
Thank you for your response, ok you are over beating what is clearly a oversight on my part. Should I update my profile ? Probably yes.
But the question remains - would a newbie fair ok with a more experienced sub, She seems keen and openly declared she is still checking me out and understands I am a newbie,
I’m not beating an oversight. This is the biggest issue in all you requested about.
But here’s your Simple answer to that other question Yes a new Dom can work with an experienced sub. It will walk a fine like between topping from the bottom and guidance but that’s for you two to negotiate.
Maybe with all this it’s worth you doing some more research and maybe find some dungeon demo nights. Maybe you’re not ready for a sub. Perhaps find a dominant mentor to work with.
But here’s your Simple answer to that other question Yes a new Dom can work with an experienced sub. It will walk a fine like between topping from the bottom and guidance but that’s for you two to negotiate.
Maybe with all this it’s worth you doing some more research and maybe find some dungeon demo nights. Maybe you’re not ready for a sub. Perhaps find a dominant mentor to work with.
Thank you , your latest reply is more helpful than previous..
. So dungeon. Demo nights I need to look that up and to tbh I had not thought of a Dom mentor, would love to pair up with one..and learn the ropes (no pun intended ).if pointed in the right direction.
Finally my sub to be has acknowledged the fact I am newbie..I did offer her the option to exit if she is not comfortable with my experience and she declined.
Worth mentioning I have been chatting to her well over 6 weeks and we get along.
She is into total submission sexually and loves Authority and control in other areas.
Hopefully I know what am getting myself into
. So dungeon. Demo nights I need to look that up and to tbh I had not thought of a Dom mentor, would love to pair up with one..and learn the ropes (no pun intended ).if pointed in the right direction.Finally my sub to be has acknowledged the fact I am newbie..I did offer her the option to exit if she is not comfortable with my experience and she declined.
Worth mentioning I have been chatting to her well over 6 weeks and we get along.
She is into total submission sexually and loves Authority and control in other areas.
Hopefully I know what am getting myself into
